S:EXpedition: Lost Yvenna 1-12

when she gets back she prolly be tougher and not cry as much

Seeing the 12-24 as well, I’m not sure what value this adds to the story aside from basically making Yvenna suffer. I was hoping for something a bit less grimdark.

Looking forward to reading on what happens next

you were not kidding when you said you could have this up pretty fast

I like the format of the story, there's only one image per page, but the text per page isn't too much, and it lets the story progress faster than were it to be in a typical comic page setup ^^ A lot of corrections, I think most of them were a mix between present tense and past tense words. It seems that the story is mostly written in a past-tense format. Page two: "She left out a sigh of relief." should probably be: "She let out a sigh of relief." And "Sounds like they found my scent." could probably be in normal lettering format instead of cursive like the rest of the text, differentiate her thought from the rest of the text. Fourth page: "I'm not tasty!" could be normal text format instead of cursive, and: "as she screams and runs for her life." should probably be: "She screams while running for her life." or "She screams as she runs for her life." "She pushes them away and hits them with it as hard as she could" "pushes" and "hits" are present-tense, "could." is past-tense, if I understand it correctly. So "could" should probably be "can." "The creatures don't seem to feel it and kept on chasing her." sounds better with "don't" being replaced by "didn't" "It broke in half on the creature's teeth." I think "on the" should be "between the" Page 05: "She knew if she slows down or tripped, they will catch up with her." should be "She knew if she slowed down or tripped, they would catch up with her." or "She knows if she slows down or trips, they will catch up with her." The former of the two being in past-tense, the latter being present-tense, if I'm not mistaken. "yellow vines every plant" should have a comma, "yellow vines, every plant" "I'm gonna let it recharge for a while." should have normal format instead of cursive "As she took the battery off." should be "she says/said as she switched/turned off the battery." Page 6: Yvenna's text should be in normal format instead of cursive. Page 7: "She's tired, thirsty, hungry and cold." should be "hungry, and cold." "as she talks" should be "as she talked" Page 8: "couple of scars and bite marks" should probably be "couple of scratches and bite marks" as scars are healed wounds. Second paragraph, "she managed to" should probably be "she manages to" Page 10: "attacked at during" should be "attacked during" or "attacked at all during" "she find something" should be "she finds something" "be near the village." should be "be near a village." Page 11: "multiple fires going on" should be "multiple fires going" without the "on" "they are some kind" should be "they were some kind" "that just wobbles around." should be "that just wobbled around." "to drink from" should be "drinking from" "spit it out" should be "spat it out" Page 12: "The 3 other creature" should be "the other three creatures" "manage to snapped it" should be "manage to snap it" "bite her she manages" should be "bite her, she managed" "get it first. They start growling at her." should be "get it first, growling at her."