Here's a fuller picture of everything that's transpired.
(edit: formatting bullet points, man...)
Now that the big and scary as fuck announcement is out of the way, I'll expand on the situation I've been in, and why I came to this conclusion. It's my full account of everything from start to finish, but extremely condensed and summarised so I don't vomit trauma all over everyone. As always, please know that I'm not sharing this for sympathy, or pardon. I just hope it'll help y'all make more sense out of everything, and to provide some closure for my long-time supporters - those of you who are still here, even though I'd fucked so many things up, and let so many people down.
Warning: It's a lot. If you're having a rough day, please leave this for later. If you're feeling cranky, see yourself out like a reasonable grown-up would do. Also, I'm posting this without proofreading, so it might be a little incoherent and all over the place.
Let's dive in.
---
Earlier this year, I was diagnosed informally by my psychiatrist with OCD, and this is on top of an existing ADHD diagnosis.
The OCD one didn't come as a surprise because over the last 5 years, I'd been fighting a losing battle. OCD was a nightmare of a mental disorder that wouldn't allow me to stop redoing the same thing, over and over again, and redrawing a single line that was out of place for hours on end. Because if I did, I'd be gripped by a paralysing fear that "something bad would happen to me and everyone I loved". In other words, I was incapable of applying any form of mental-brakes to my work process, and I had no choice but to work myself to exhaustion, every single week. Needless to say, what resulted from this (kinda lethal) cocktail of disorders was the weekly late episode submissions y'all have witnessed.
In order to keep to the deadlines, every week on the day before episode submission, I worked 24 hours straight, all the way till the episode was ready for submission. Because of timezone difference, this meant I was pulling an all-nighter, every week. But it wasn't just me. My 2-3 art assistants in the timezone were also chugging redbull all night and fighting to stay awake, just to produce something y'all finish in minutes, that some still found to be too short and lazy, sloppy work.
As compensation, I paid my assistants double the amount of salary. But no amount of money is worth sacrificing anyone's health for, and I promised myself that the weekly all-nighters had to stop, at all costs.
---On top of this shitty disorder, I also had General Anxiety Disorder and daily panic attacks, caused by deadlines and the daily stress of assigning work to multiple art assistants: coordinating everyone's schedule, correcting and redoing submissions, working on my share of artwork, and writing out the script for the next episode.
In hopes of overcoming this, I did 9 full months of very intensive therapy whilst working on episodes every week. But therapy didn't work out: it left me a crying, bawling mess after every session, and completely dysregulated for at least 1-2 days every week.
I couldn't function, so I ended therapy. Disorders were still here, still running the show. Nothing else had changed. I had run entirely out of options and I was at a dead-end. But through sheer willpower and brute force, and thanks to the endless and tireless support and encouragement from my dear friends: emily, raluca, patty and christina, I kept going till the end of the of Season 2a.
I now know, after engaging an L.A.-based law firm and months of information gathering with them, that this situation alone constitutes as "severe illness" under California's Workers' Rights law, and is reason enough for me to put an immediate and indefinite halt to everything if the existing unfavourable conditions do not, or will not change. I'll let that sink in for the asshats out there.
Now, let's rewind the clock to the end of Season 1.
---Season 1 ended spectacularly well. I was a complete amateur who'd never completed even a single chapter of a comic, let alone an entire series. Still, I was wide-eyed and brimming with energy and enthusiasm, and my editor came bearing good news and high praise every other week.
At this point, I had 4 art assistants. I was gearing up for a studio setup, and figuring out how to set everything up so I could "maximise output and efficiency, to work faster and produce more content", according to my editor's recommendation. For 3 of my assistants, I bought and gifted them a 22" Wacom Cintiq tablet each in hopes of improving work quality and allowing them to work more comfortably. During my breaks, I also continued paying my main assistants a half-to-full month's salary even when I had no work for them, because I needed them to be on standby for when the next season began but had no idea when that would be because of inexperience (and incompetence). And as soon as my break started, I hired a 5th art assistance. Let's call them X.
X was an artist who'd been in the art industry for years, and a long-time and in-person friend of mine. So naively, I assumed X would be a perfect fit to be my second-in-command. I paid X an extremely generous salary, and spent 4 months of my 6-month long break training X to take on my workload, all this on top of my daily work producing assets for the next season. Every week, X and I had hours-long meetings where I went through their weekly submissions, and all aspects I needed them to improve on.
X didn't improve on anything. After 4 months, I had to let them go.
I spent the rest of this same break correcting X's bungled submissions. At this point, 4 months into my break, I hadn't produced a single episode, and I was already exhausted. Then my editor issued an ultimatum - post by this date, or else. Now with only 3 episodes finished and less than 2 months to complete the rest PLUS the additional required buffer episodes, I pushed myself to go harder and further, and this was when the first signs of OCD emerged.
---Season 2a (along with my intensive therapy) commenced.
I managed to stay afloat, but barely. By this point, I'd developed an anxiety disorder and daily panic attacks. My editor now hinted about "cancelled episodes due to late submissions". Webtoon was still lenient so it didn't happen, but because the protocols were so vague and constantly shifting, I lived in constant dread and panic of when the cancelled-episode axe would fall. So I sacrificed all my time with not just friends and husband, but also my very loving, very close-knit family. Then, in the middle of the Season 2a, two of them passed away within months of each other.
They were both close family - a brother and foster-mother who raised me with more love than my blood-mother could ever provide. Both had fallen very ill just before Covid, but even though I lived 20-minutes away, I never got to spend their final moments with them - in order to meet my weekly deadlines, I not only sacrificed time spent with my husband, but also with my dying, dearly beloved ones.
At this point, I finally broke down, and this was when Season 2 came to an abrupt halt for you guys.
I sank into the worst depression I've ever had, complete with near-psychosis/psychotic episodes and daily S* ideation. For months, it was impossible for me to delve into my mind and fish for new ideas and inspiration without opening up a new wave of grief and pain. Thankfully, after a year of rest and recuperation, I came out of the depression. I was also close to recovering from crippling anxiety caused by 3 whole years of chronic stress and fatigue. I finished up my episodes and buffers and started Season 2b.
---When Season 2b started, I managed to rekindle a decent amount of my initial passion and enthusiasm. This round, I had a much easier time with the episodes because my greatest fear - that my weekly episodes would be cancelled, and hundreds of readers would be disappointed and upset at me - had finally come true, and I was now beyond caring.
The OCD was still here. I was still working overnight every week, and still submitting late. This time, Webtoon clamped down on my late submissions hard and without hesitation, so my episodes were now getting cancelled, sometimes multiple times a month, and more and more readers were dropping off. But I was relieved, because I was now very close to the finishing line of Season 2, when I could finally take my first proper break in over 5 years...which I did.
As soon as the break started, I went on a vacation in December 2023, and again in 2024. I worked on little art projects for Patreon, all done at my own pace. Slowly but surely, I started feeling like my old self again: the 'me' who was a fresh-eyed Webtoon artist, brimming with hope, enthusiasm and creativity.
Problem was, every time I sat down to get back to work, I no longer recognised MPL.
Because of all the negative experiences, the thought of working on MPL was now intrinsically - and I fear maybe even permanently - linked with trauma, pain, and despair; and because of an un-ending stream of setbacks and failures, and maybe my own inexperience and lack of competence, I'd allowed MPL to go completely off course, and I have no idea how to bring it back again.
And this is where I'm at, right now.
I hope this will be the last time y'all have to sit through another lengthy post of mine because y'all have your own pain, and your own rough times. But no comparisons or judgements - everyone's pain is valid and equal. End of the day, all of us - even me, your queen lily - are just bungling and fumbling our way down a pitch-black road, with nothing but a torch that only lights up what's three steps ahead of us. All I want to do now, is to move on to the important things - continue making art and stories that will hopefully put a smile on someone's face after (or before) a long day at work.
Finally, to those who are upset, I accept the blame but urge you to unpledge and unfollow me - your anger towards me is harming no one - not even me - but yourself. On that note, the next person who behaves like a fucking k*ren will immediately be blocked from my Patreon page (and from my everything-else pages (that I'm no longer on) because I have the memory of elephant and grudge of Scorpio).
Next post (or when ready), I'll talk about what i have planned for the future. Thanks for reading, and thanks for being here <3
Comments (201)
Literally cried reading this. I am so sorry for the pain you’ve gone through. Shame on WEBTOON and the editor, if this is how they treated you I can only imagine how they treat other artists. No one should have to sacrifice anything they love for the greed of a company.. I have my own OCDADHD and depression and all of that kind of stuff and I can’t imagine what it would be like to put myself in your shoes and feel that tremendous pressure and to be so scared about disappointing people when honestly, yeah people were disappointed, but after they found out about everything that you’ve gone through the disappointment doesn’t matter because it’s your life and things that you sacrificed for other people just to make other people happy… you made a lot of people happy with your stories, but I’m sorry that it came at a cost. I really hope you’re flourishing now.
It's September 2026, and I still wish you all the love and kindness you deserve. MPL is one of my favourite Webtoons, and regardless of where you are right now, I know it remains as millions of other people's favourite stories right now. The characters you produced hold so much story and meaning, and no matter what choice you've made, I hope we'll still at least get to hear from YOU if not the story. Much love and peace <3
Has any one heard anything if midnightpoppyland will be returning or if there might be a new series?
Oh hun, I am so sorry for your loss and I hope you're able to find peace and healing soon. From someone who deals with PTSD and ADHD among other disorders, I know it's never easy and the fear of letting people down can become so debilitating. I hope you are okay and we'll be here waiting for you when you're ready to come back Ms Queen Lily❤️
Hi Lily! I run a romance blog (bestinromance.com) and feature creators in my Creator Corner interview series. I'd love to talk with you about MPL, what you've been working on, and how you're doing these days. Would you be open to it?
Struggling with mental health is no fun 🙃 I hope with all my heart you get feeling better and find peace. I've re-read MPL so many times, I still get a laugh and a cry out of it so I really hope you come back but on your own time of course. P.S. if you're worried about the storyline just make a note at the beginning of the chapter saying rewind to chapter xxx because of xxx hope that's ok and if not too d**m bad 🤣 with love Lilydusk 💕 ...😆... Hope to hear from you💕
I am so sorry you are struggling. I also deal with OCD and anxiety, no one should have to live like this. I hope one day you can come back and finish MPL it is such a beautiful story.
Wow, looks like I'm not the only one finding your posts so long after you posted them. I just want to say, I started reading so long ago, and maybe fell off before you even went on hiatus, but I came back last night and read everything all over again and I promise this is not to pressure you (from one ADHD with chronic illness to another) but what you have here, it is beautiful work. And when I read your posts, itching to find out why there was no more, I was crushed to hear your own health suffered to create. I didn't know webtoon ran things that way, I just assumed artists posted whenever they wanted. I'll always hold a little hope that one day you can return to it, but most of all, I think all of us just hope you're doing better ♡
I know it’s been a while, but I hope you’re doing well. I want you to know that I saw the comments when people were being negative and I never understood it. I actually think everything you’ve put out has been incredible. And it felt like there was so much lore that I had to piece together it felt like a mystery to solve- which got me going, honestly. I think some people need things spoon fed to them and when they don’t understand- they lash out. That’s how I took it and I’m sorry to you because when you’re struggling mentally that kind of unnecessary malice weighs the heaviest. I’d love to know the rest of the mystery someday if you’d ever be willing to put out a web novel of MPL. Thanks for everything, Lily. :)
Sending love, good health, success and a lot of courage, confidence, strength and focus. You're incredible. Your work in unbelievable and you've got my patreon support. I hope you continue to work. I hope you continue to share your beautiful and sexy short stories with our favorite characters or new ones. I love everything you create. I love your style and your art. You're AMAZING! ❤️
Also just wanna add: who cares about finishing MPL when we've got so many sexy beautiful and funny short stories with our favorite characters, and lots of happy endings 😍😍😍😍
If MPL doesn't turn into a book I might literally die. I've never been glued to my phone for hours on end for a webtoon IN MY LIFE!!! I came to Patreon in hopes for a season 3 release.... after reading your posts, I'm so terribly sorry that such an amazing story became a negative impact on your life. Hope you're doing better! Take care of yourself first!! <3
I just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you, and I hope you are doing better than when you posted this in November ❤️ you're fantastic, don't ever forget that!
Hello, Apologies, if this is not the right space to ask this, but I looked theough the FAQ and tried to find other options, but I wasn't sure what else to do about getting my query answered. I was wondering if there is a way to pause financial support temporarily, and come back at a later time to continue the monthly subscription and still be able to access all of the old and new posts?.
Yes, you can cancel your subscription from your profile/account at anytime 😊
Hi Lily, A couple years ago I was diagnosed with OCD, PTSD and a Panic Disorder. It’s one of the most terrifying things to experience. Especially when you need the world to slow down or stop so you can catch your breath. Nothing is more important than your own mental health. Take in the days that are good, and give yourself grace for the days that are unbearable.
I can't believe that while I was enjoying your webtoon so much that I reread soooo many times--you were suffering so much. I wish you all the best with everything. I don't know how to put into words how much you've made me happy. I was rereading MPL again for the nth time and the hiatus status made me curious. And that's how I ended up downloading Patreon and subscribing to you. I wanted to see how you were doing. My heart broke reading this post. I didn't know that behind the comic, that I enjoyed so much, was this. You are also human like me. I feel so much for you. I sincerely wish you the best. Take your time. You are loved by so many. You have all my support! ❤️❤️❤️
Glad you've made it through. ❤️ I hope things get easier with time.
Hello, this might not mean much coming from a random fan, but I just wanted to say I’m really proud of you for choosing to prioritise your health ❤️ MPL has honestly helped me through some rough days. I’ve been following your work since Canvas and Asura’s Bride, and I’ve supported you on and off on Patreon when I could afford—so I totally get that this kind of announcement probably wasn’t easy to make. I’m really going to miss MPL, but I’m also excited to see where things go for you next—whether it’s a new project or just taking time to recharge. You deserve that. And even though some people haven’t been kind, just know there are still lots of us out here quietly rooting for you and wishing you the best in whatever path you take. Sending love and good vibes your way—from one person figuring things out to another. You’ve got this 💛
Thinking about you. I hope you've found a creative outlet that helps instead of hurts. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Late like everyone else, but your art is wonderful. You had a vision and did your best to make it come to reality. Mental health is so important and being in any creative field is so taxing on physical, emotional, and mental health. While I’d love to know how MPL would end (didn’t Poppy and Tora suck everyone in?), it was still perfect and I never cared how long or short an episode was. Coming from a creative background I get it. Take care of yourself and produce at your own speed.
Omg, Lily! This made me cry. I'm so sorry you had to go through all this s#$%. Your work is amazing, but I totally get the OCD and ADHD. Punctuality is not my friend either. Ahhhhh! Anyway, I'm here to support however I can. Keep your head up. We love ya, girl 💙
So much love Lily. I hope these comments don't cause any additional anxiety, I wanted to send some comfort, as do so many people out here who support you. I have autism (probably AuDHD inattentive) and anxiety/depression myself, and have experience with OCD and other health issues. I am so sorry you delt with criticism while having to survive these every day, people don't realise what a feat it is just to keep going when you're under that kind of pressure. Take the best care of yourself you can, I know I'm just a stranger, but I'm one who hopes you hydrated, and got soke good sleep, and found some joy today. I was a writer, and had to abandon many projects due to being unwell, you're doing what's best for you, but also showing that this industry is not sustainable for wellbeing. Anyone who has benefited from your work (MPL got me through a particularly dark time) would only ever want for you to be well. I'm so glad I found this update, I went back to Webtoons often, worrying about what had happened to you, and it's been so much more than I could have imagined. I'm so sorry. And so much empathy (on a tiny scale) for the people who criticised and expected more than you can give. You're human first, and an artist at heart whether you draw or not. Don't let them get to you. You're a beautiful soul 💜
I honestly love MPL, but it did change and became confusing for me as far as plot and direction of the story. But I’ve always been here waiting to see what will happen next because I like your work. You are very talented and I enjoy taking in your art. Your health struggles are real and others should have empathy. You have to take care of yourself first before you worry about putting a smile on your readers faces. I look forward to what you create when you are in a better place. Best wishes!
I'm so glad I found this post, I always wondered what happened, and now I know. I'm so, so sorry all that happened to you and that some people here suck. I love MPL, and hope some day it's not a trigger for pain and sadness for you. But if it's not, I will follow the rest of your horny, and beautifully well written content. Just know I am a friend across the pixelated ocean of the internet, and I support you wholeheartedly. If MPL returns, I will rejoice and give you all my money and my time! If not, you will still likely get my money and time ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Question, am I able to pause membership for a month or three? If I cancel my membership, but resubscribe at a later time, will I still be able to acess the old content from the time before when I re-subscribe?
I’m super late to this, but I just wanted to say that I’ve always appreciated your honesty with us. You don’t sugar coat and you don’t make excuses. You just give it to us straight, tell us what’s going on, and that’s that. On another note, I’m sorry you have gone through so much. And I’m sorry that the trauma is so deeply connected to MPL. Naturally, as a long time fan since day one, I do hope you’ll rekindle your love for it and get it where you want to. But I also know that must be done in your own time when you’re ready. I hope you’ll reclaim MPL, take back ownership and make it what you want it to be. Your true and loyal fans will always be here, waiting patiently and lovingly.
I'm so so sorry you were under this kind of pressure. I've been a fan since the beginning and will always support you!
I'm super late to this. And all I have to say, I'm so sorry. You have been through hell and back. And I'm so saddened that you had to go through such immense pain and trauma. Though I love and will mss MPL, I am so happy and glad that you chose yourself, that you chose to rest and heal. I'm happy and honored to have supported you, and I am happy and honored to continue to support you. I hope you are doing well - slowly and surely, and are able to find joy and peace again. <3
While I love and will miss MPL, you only have one life to live and you should live it for you! Thanks for giving us this story, it has been one of my favorites and if I never see an end to it, well, I don't care. It was a really lovely ride. Take care of yourself.
I'm late to the updates, and my heart goes out to you and your family for everything you have had to endure the last few years. Not everyone understands that art comes from the very essence of the artist. And when that flow is burdened with so very many outside influences, it is impossible to create anything, no matter how much you may want to, and physically hurts if you force it. I am sorry that there are so many negative emotions now associated with MPL. While I will be sad if you no longer can revisit the story, I fully understand and will cherish the work you have given us. Take care of yourself and your family, do right by you. You gave us all a gift, and I hope that you can heal in peace and find a way to express your creativity that makes you happy again, whether we get to see it or not.
I know I’m not the only person saying this, but I’m so sorry this happened to you, Lilydusk. It makes me sad to think that something you worked to hard on to bring others joy, myself included, has not only been so under-appreciated, but also traumatic. I’m happy to be supporting your Patreon now as you heal, and hope that you’re able to find the balance you need. Grateful for you 💜
I love your artwork, your storylines, and characters. I am so sorry that people can be cruel and judgemental about your artwork. Thank you for creating something so beautiful. I hope you are able to find your way back to it. And hope that if/or whenever that happens, I'm able to see it.
Please make any work you wish. I am here to see it.
I’ll be honest..I’m honestly sad to see that MPL may not return. I loved that. You did amazing job! I love poppy and Tora. I’ll also be honest that I hope maybe someday in the future you may bring MPL or redo it. But I understand now it may not continue or return and it may never. And while I’m sad I understand and respect the reason.
lily, you have been through so much. the fact that you still pushed yourself through for your readers, even when you were hurting and at the lowest of lows, shows just how great of a person you are. 🤍 we love you, queen lily. take as long you need, you deserve this break. unlike the others here, i am not very good with words.. but i wrote a little something for you some time ago, but never had the chance to post! we miss you, lily. mpl, and ab got me through very hard times, all thanks to your beautiful and amazing art. i never thought i would find comfort in comics, but here i've been, rereading and waiting for your return. thank you for blessing us with those beautiful stories, rest up you talented goddess 🤍
I know i'm late, but just wanted to say thank you for giving us two great seasons of MPL. Even if you decide to never work on it again, these 2 seasons have been a little part of our story for a while and had great impact on our lives. I knew you were going through a lot, but this just confirmed it. I'm so glad you decided to prioritize yourself over people's desire for closure. Whatever you end up doing, I'll be more than happy to discover any fun little project you feel like sharing with us, be it random sketches or not! Also, since it's in a few days anyway: happy holidays and happy new year. I hope the next year will be one of healing and progress towards whatever goal you set for yourself!
OCD is a debilitating bitch that has taken too much time and mental stability from me, so I feel you there. Panic attacks.. ughhh.. they just chip at an already sinking ship. Anxiety disorders are also a bitch, I have panic disorder, I feel lame even saying it. I'm saying all this not to trauma bond but to say I understand some of what you went/ go through (though everyone's disorders are different) and that you are epic. What you went through was not epic and even if you didn't put out season 2 you'd still be epic. At this point I'll take whatever you give, so if you give us nothing then YASS DIVA GIVE US NOTHING. And when you give us something I'll be so excited to experience your work.
Your health and mental wellbeing are the most important thing to me. For every artist I follow. Shit I waited for this is Angle to come back after multiple years of silence. They literally dropped off the map. They write the devil is a handsome man. I'm very sorry this happened to you and very sad it keeps happening. I will say again. I personally have zero problem waiting for an art from you. Whenever you're ready. Lestat the vampire had 200 year breaks in his journal. Lol I hope you feel better.
Fuck the people who think they have a right to be egotistical about the art you CHOOSE to share. Time is finite, and family comes first. I will continue to support you cuz I love all the art you post. If you never go back to MPL, it will be okay. I started following you when you were writing AB, and even when I’ve been broke, I never once considered pulling my monthly subscription. The world needs artists and creators like yourself. You are valued and loved.
I know I'm late to the party here (been dealing with life), but I'm so sorry that you've been struggling! Mental health disorders can be so difficult to deal with. I wish only the best for you!
Sending you so much love! First and foremost you need to take care of yourself. I'm so sorry about what you went through. The loss of a loved one is devistating, two in a short period, one being a parental figure as well, is crushing. Add in mental health problems, ADHD & OCD save just wow! I'm surprised you kept make such beautiful art. At the same time I understand the crazy obsession to push through no matter how much it damages you. I did the same thing when my dad died. I couldn't be there cause I live on a different continent and COVID travel restriction ment I couldn't fly to him. I drained myself to the bone working and trying to function. My husband and my pets are probably the only reason I'm still here. I'm glad you are now taking care of yourself. If you ever do get to a place where you can work on MPL, I will be one of the first to jump back in to it. But if you dont, that's totally understandable. I will still look forward to whatever you creat next. Sending you so many hugs!!!
It puts a smile on my face when people find their voice and set boundaries. Be proud of yourself and how far you've come. You've been on a long journey of self realization and healing. It's not an easy road and you have some more to go, aka learning to forgive yourself and give yourself some grace, along with truly not caring what others think. Don't apologize for the things you've been through and the supposed "inconvenience" it may have been for others. You honestly don't owe us any explanation. I can say however that it has not fallen on deaf ears. Your efforts ans sacrifice you put forth to produce beautifully titilating art and a tantalizing story lines are greatly appreciated. Your health is important, your family and friends are important. Remember all you can do is your best, and also... its completely OK to take a step back and breathe. OCD reeeealy sucks and pairing it with anxiety yeeeesh... thats a nasty combo. I wish you the best in working through and finding a method that works best for you. You have produced a lot of great peices that we, your fans, can jump back to while we wait for your new goodies. 😉
Dear Lily, I lost one of my loved ones in a similar way and I was absolutely devastated. Someone I loved so much and thought would be there so much longer wasn’t and I broke. I couldn’t function as a person for a long time. I needed a lot of help and time to process. Sometimes work helps to get your mind off your grief and give you something to focus on doing but you also need time to feel and process. This isn’t something to rush or feel guilty over. Focus on what’s best for you and we’ll be here for whatever you decide to do with your future 💛
I have grown up with a mother who suffers with all the things ur going thru (she had one of many major breakdowns when i was 5 and was beadridden for months. She physically collapsed bc she had over worked herself until her body forced her to stop. She was very ill for a year and a bit). Im sharing this bc although it gets really bad sometimes, and she still struggles, these things never go away and its all ab finding ways to manage and control them. Its not easy, but i promise that things will eventually get better. It also sounds like u didnt have a good therapist bc they are ment to teach you methods of coping and managing your stuggles, not making them worse, and i would greatly recommend trying therapy again in any form. Charles lindon does amazing work and i would strongly recommend u check out his courses to help (they are what my mum used and still uses today). Unfortunately u will face these problems in whatever you do, but im glad to hear u have a good support system in place. Ive been following this comic since u published the first episode, and im heartbroken to hear that what u went thru has put a negative on your experience of this comic. I sincerely hope that you will one day be able to come back and finish this beautiful story, and i hope that u feel better soon! Know that there is light at the end of the tunnel and you will get thru this xx
I just got you’re Patreon to figure out where MPL went and I’m so sorry all these things happened to you!! I LOVE MPL and I’m really glad that you have taken the time for yourself amid all of your mental health stuff. I will be patiently waiting if you do start MPL and I’m sure a lot of other people still love you and your work! Please take time for yourself, you can’t make great art if you don’t enjoy making it in the first place!
Take time to heal and find that love of creating again. We are all human and need space to heal. Sending loads of love!
I live with complex-PTSD, ADHD, and anxiety that manifests as OCD. Only the PTSD and OCD are treated because of physical medical issues. I could feel your stress through your words and just wish I could offer a hug or a cup of soothing beverage somehow. Therapy not working is heart breaking, but I would urge you to think about trying again with a different therapist. We don't always match with the right fit on the first several tries. If you think that going on your own with some books might help, "The Body Keeps the Score" and "When the Body Says 'No'" might be good places to start. That being said, PLEASE prioritize your health. You have value as a human being above all else and anyone who wants to treat you like a dancing monkey can fuck right off. I'd be lying if I said I didn't care about the end of MPL and your other stories, but the way I see it is those beautiful stories can't exist without YOU. You're the key and deserve to have time and space to heal.
Get yourself healthy, nothing else is more important. 🙏
Dear Lily I'm so sorry for your lost ones, your pain and everything. We love your work but your health is so much more important for us than MLP when you feel like picking it up again then yes we will there when you think now is not the right time. We all also there! Stay health!
I hope you rekindle your love by working on new projects. You went through so much
I have ocd and I watched an episode on mtv, real life or true life, can't remember title. This beautiful girl had rituals, it was time consuming, she imaged the worst things that could happen to her mom. During therapy she listed it with mom in room and her mom was so distraught this is what consumes her daughter thoughts daily 24 7. I noticed I had the same problem. I was always told I was a smart kid. So at age 12 I tried to disassociate the outcome of my day with any type of ritual. I stopped rituals as best I could. I use to do thing in 4s. I'd check locks or locked the door 4 times. And I had to make sure it wasn't odd number sets. Kept going until I felt it was right or restarted. My behavior was causing depression because I couldn't move on until it felt right. I felt someone would die, specifically my mom. Overtime with the power of the internet, after 10pm because of dial up, I learned more about ocd. Later in life I completely stopped due to deep depression. I've gone to therapy im on medication. Now I live my life waking up and going thru my day thinking positive thoughts even when misfortune arises. I lost my mother to cancer. I had closure because my family and I was with her when she died. My fear of my mom dying was so irrational when I was younger because out of all the scenarios she actually passed in peace. I became a mom and I continued to train myself to stop rituals because I had to use my time efficiently. I learned late in life I have a chemical imbalancement mental disorder, general anxiety, clinical depression, I haven't been diagnosed but I may be bipolar. I'm not getting younger but I've started to do things I never did like plan pto at work as a staycation. I stepped down from management because it was heightening my depression. I learned how to set boundaries with others. I can keep going but its been a journey. I sent you a message thank you for your art. Based on your timenline this is before you announced to us what was going on. You took the time to respond back. I love you so much. I will continue to support you. I feel like this community of horny readers is like a family to me. Do what you gotta do. You deserve time back to yourself. Us true fans are rooting and supporting you. Xoxo.
As someone with OCD myself, I understand. OCD for me isn’t a new thing, I’m seasoned and have had it since I was roughly 3 years old so let me tell you those fears you have won’t always be permanent and they’ll sometimes grow, change, and go away. For example when I was little I had “just right ocd” which is a form of it where if something happens to one side of your body you have to do it to the other side until it feels right. I grew out of it but I’ll always have some form of it. Therapy and medications help a lot but it’s gotta be tailored to YOUR conditions and I hope you’re doing more than therapy. I gotta say for myself specifically, medication was a whole game changer. My ocd mostly affects me at night and I do things like sleep walk with panic attacks etc. I’ve always loved your work and no matter what you decide to do I’ll be here waiting. I’m not going to lie, MPL got me though some dark patches. Sometimes when I wanted to end it all I remembers a new episode was coming out and told myself I had to see where this ended. That’s not to make you feel guilty, by the way, that’s me saying your work got me though some tough things so I’ll always appreciate you as an artist and storymaker. I’m sad to hear that it’s associated with such dark emotions, but having ocd myself I understand. It probably didn’t help that those fears happened when you were working on it. I hope you can get the help you need because ocd isn’t something I would wish on my worst enemies. It’s one hell of an awful diagnosis but you can redirect some of it, I promise. It’s not a fully lost cause. I’m 28 and have dealt with it for 25 years with my formal diagnosis only being roughly 2-3 years ago. I’ll continue being subscribed to your Patreon. Please put yourself first 💕
Wow, you have been going through so much. I really appreciate that you've shared your thoughts, it's helps normalize that mental health is just as important as physical health. I am glad you are finding your footing and seeing a light at the end of what sounds like a dark tunnel. You've got my support to the end, regardless of the outcome!
Well, I knew you were struggling with many things, so I do understand. Nobody can produce any work under such a workload, both self-imposed and from the toon platform, which I've come to understand treats its artists like shit. As an artist and creative content writer, I understand your situation more than some. It's a long story, but I know the burnout and overwhelming depression that comes with being an artist, and having people put all kinds of pressure on you. I had a mental breakdown, and I'm not entirely sure my mojo is back fully. I just have to make what I want and take the time to enjoy the process without caring what other people might think or say. I hope that you can find inner peace as you recover your sense of self and get those creative juices to flow freely again.
Haters will move on eventually and find something else to be angry about. This is a comic, its not a cure for cancer. This is not to diminish your work, but to put haters' emotions into perspective. You on the other hand will have to live through the hardship and disorders for much longer. You made the right call. I hope your journey through life improves and that your passion takes up more space. We only live once and there is never enough love and support going around ❤️
Where to start. Ive hated how some of the "fandom" has treated you like you work for them. For years its frustrated me so much seeing some of the entitlement in comments, or "fangroup" posts. Im so sorry its weighed on you so heavily. You are a very talented storyteller and artist, and gifts like yours are meant to be given space to grow on their own, not pressured and exploited. Im really really glad that youre doing what is best for you now, and i hope you continue to! Im so sorry if you felt like you owed anyone such a personal explanation, but i think that your decisions have all been valid <3 Im a very different sort of artist, but I 100% understand the paralysis that comes with trying to treat art as a business, and i hope that you are able to free yourself of it and do it for YOU again. This is your gift, and you dont owe its service to anyone <3 all of the love to you <3
I'm so sorry that what was so beautiful for all of us was so terrible for you. I hope that you can now make art that makes you as happy as those who receive it. ❤️
wow.....this hits deep and personal in my heart, as a comic artist and fellow human being with OCD. I'm sorry this industry is so rigged into destroying our passion...its heartbreaking even.... YOU DID YOUR BEST, and you made the right call!! you deserve a loooooooooong rest, im talking YEARS. you can always came back to art and comics when you recover, and you must know you CAN MAKE YOUR OWN TIME in your next project, please. you have a huge community here and you are your own boss now!!! REST, and we will be waiting and cheering on you.
You too?? God damn. Well i guess as we can see, it's a curse but also a blessing in many other ways, eh 😁😁 *thoroughly-sanitised hugs* 🖤🖤🖤
We'll be here whenever you are ready. Thank you for taking the time to take of yourself!
I look forward to ur work in all its forms, having depression and anxiety myself with a major guilt complex.. i feel some of your pain. Rest and recharge and know that your fans are with you, love ur work xxxx
Do what you have to Lily!! This was so sad to read and I’m sorry you’ve been struggling so much. I will always be a fan of your art, characters and stories! You were the first Patreon I ever paid for bc I loved MPL so much I needed NSFW.😂😂 Your work got me through Covid! So no matter how long u need to recover I’m still gonna be here! Love you very much!
That's a lot lot but good for you that you're handling it and pushing through the way you need to in order to be healthy. It's no less valid for people to be disappointed or maybe even upset to some extent when they learn a story they've also invested years into will be abruptly and rather unceremoniously cancelled. That being said, it's entirely inappropriate for that disappointment and feelings of upset to manifest as hate or spite to you when you're just trying to take care of yourself. I mean, I get it. I read your announcement and my tummy kinda sank a bit and I felt a sense of kiss and sadness (probably because Tora x Poppy is literally my favourite pair in any comic ever) but I understand common decency and won't act like you're an awful wretch because my selfish spoiled ass ain't getting what I want, like a f'n Karen😜 I will say I do hope that your aversion to MPL becomes diminished enough over time that MPL and it's fans get some kind of proper closure in the future. An outline of plot points or a chapter where Quince or Poppy or Tora or f'n Pinky or even Goliath from the afterlife or whomever tells us what happened after the end of S2 would suffice I think. I think many of us would be quite grateful for it but ofc that would be after you heal and hopefully come to a place within yourself where you are able to see the goodness MPL put out into the world and feel the love it inspired for you and your talent more so than the ick it brought you in those end times. For now, I know I loved Asura's Bride only slightly less than MPL, so I think whatever you got coming will likely be a banger too, and I look forward to you next projects (and whatever spice you still intend to bring us 😘). Do take care, and I wish you the best on your healing journey 🙏❤️
Thanks for the feedback 🖤 Keep in mind that MPL is published by WEBTOON, and the role of making these announcements belongs rightfully to them. It's only out of personal obligation to my patrons and readers that I'm taking on this responsibility. Even then, I am doing this entirely at my own risk and legal liability, having not heard from Webtoon since my last request for an official status update, or been given permission to make such an announcement. My primary concern is to get the word out to you guys as early, quickly, and discreetly as possible; an official announcement will be made once I have ironed out everything with Webtoon and with legal assistance from my lawyers. (I should probably tag this on to my post but a lot has happened the last couple days and I think everyone needs a break.)
My dear Lily, You are stronger than you imagine, and it takes courage to share such life-story with others. You are a true warrior, and I can see a bright future coming ahead of you. All the trials & wars might left you with scars after the fight but You have won the battle. You got wiser and stronger than before just keep on walking. You Are More Than Enough! Sending lots of love 💕 all the way from Texas 🇺🇸
Hello Lily, I don't usually write comments. I'm from the team that clicks on the "heart". But I ressent necessary to write. I come to the Patreon page regularly, subscribe and unsubscribe because I can't afford to stay all the time... well, I'm telling my life story, ahah. What I mean is that you are one of my favorite artists. I love a lot MPL and I really loved Asura'bride. I am French, my English is not good enough (I just have to work on it haha...) to follow as I would like but I remain faithful. (Sorry if I write weird ahah). Obviously I would like to know the rest of this story, see your drawings (wow!). I would be lying if I said otherwise. But the most important thing is that you feel good, enjoy your loved ones and do what you love, without falling into this anxiety.
My comment it is too long. I continue … We live in a society that doesn't help... Anyway. I want you to know that from what I see, you are an amazing girl, full of talent. You experience trials, difficult times, plus people who don't help anything, but you see, you are there, you are strong. So thank you for what you give to us, really. Looking forward to reading you. I follow you. ;) <3
You deserve so much better. Your art is magnificent and it comes from an amazing place within you. I truly hope you can take the break you deserve and find a balance that suits YOU and YOUR needs. I’ll always look forward to more of your work, done at your own pace. 🖤
I am so sorry you have been going through all this. Your mental health is just as important as your physical health. I have been following you for so long, but I’m the opposite of upset. I’m actually happy you are finding yourself and learning about what makes you happy. Nothing is worth the stress you were putting yourself under. I hope you continue to put yourself first and know that I will keep following your updates. Sending much love ❤️
It takes a lot of courage to share experiences with mental illness, especially in a society where setting boundaries and taking care of mental health are discouraged. (#thegrind) Your health and happiness come first! I am here for whatever creative endeavors make you happy and fulfilled. Sending love ❤️
Your health matters. Thats it. You’ve graciously given us an explanation, but it wasn’t needed. Your generosity and kindness to your team is far beyond what some in the industry could ever hope to put forth. Please be well and take your time to enjoy everything.
Take care of yourself, lady, and know that there are people who appreciate the artist as well as the art. Your mental & physical health are paramount, and you need to do what works for you! 🌸💕
❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
Fuck yeah! Set those boundaries! I’m here for it! 💕💕💕
You are a broken person, healing ...finally. I know and understand your depression and anxiety and OCD. Please continue to do right by you and take care of yourself. I can only imagine your marriage needs some healing as well. Don't forget about care for your husband and those dearest to you. I have never been upset by your work or it's timeliness. Please keep creating. You are a wonderful artist and your character design is fabulous. Do what works best for you and don't look back. I support your personal and artistic decisions. Go be great!...in whatever way heals you and yours.
You’ve shared such a vulnerable side of your life, something that you didn’t have to. I appreciate you sharing and being transparent; you’ll have me as a Patron for as long as I can.
Thanks for the closure. I can appreciate that you tried and you are right a job is not worth your mental health. Do well in your future endeavors. I am here for them.
Sending much love Lily! 🫶🏼❤️🩹 I am so sorry you had to go through all of this! Thank you for sharing all of this I know it’s personal and nobody has to know. But I hope you heal and find the joy and passion for writing again and hope to see you enjoy writing MPL. Please get lots of rest, and I support you in everything! 🖤
Take your time and heal. If it's the end for it, then thats the way it is. Get it out of Webtoon if you can.
You are our Queen Lily. We love you. I'm so sorry that you went through all of this, and I'm sorry that what was once something you loved so much now causes you pain. You deserve to take all the time you need to recuperate and rest. Those of us who love you for you will be here holding flowers when you're ready to come back.
I made this point on another post on Facebook or something by I'm so sick of webtoons doing this to their artist+authors. MPL is your creation, its like your baby. Before we ever fell in love with the story you made, you loved the characters enough to invest that work in them. You loved them enough to give them names and backgrounds and draw them every week thousands of times. You loved them enough to put in so many hours to make sure their story was told. MPL is yours, and it breaks my heart everytime I see this awful company mistreat its creators to the point they no longer feel connected to their own stories. As much as I would love for you to be able to release new episodes, I could never demand that of you. All I could hope for you is that you don't let this company steal your story from you. Even if you feel like you need to go through and edit it to be what YOU recognize the story to be for yourself and never published it, I'd want that for you. Its your story, not ours, it doesn't matter how much time, emotions, or money we've invested in it, so don't do it for us. But you invested your soul and your entire life into MPL, and you deserve to be able to enjoy it more than anyone else in the world. I hope more than anything you can get to that point, even if we never see it <3
Yes to all of this.
My sweet sweet queen, I’m sending hugs and love!! I have extremely bad adhd and it dramatically affects my health and personal life so I completely understand that alone is crippling enough. MPL saved me and still does, I re-read it all the time so thank you! Truly thank you!
*huggles* take your time. i love your art and i love your storytelling, but not at the expense of your mental health and wellbeing. my best friend has OCD and i've seen how debilitating it is. it's so frustrating. i have ADHD, which is debilitating on a completely different level. i couldn't imaging putting both of our struggles together and dealing with corporate bullshit. you're a warrior.
Wow thank you for sharing something so deeply personal and shinning a light on how everyone has a journey. No one has a right to judge anyone else's journey because each one looks different. I can relate to the anxiety but I can't even begin to imagine dealing with heavy losses at the same time. It saddens me that something that was loved by many, including you initially, has now become a source of trauma for you. I will still be a long time supporter because you've shared so much with us, not just with MPL but on a perosnal level. And I know you said you did not share this for sympathy but rather for clarity but nonetheless, I am so sorry you had to go through all that. So much love your way girl
We will support and encourage you in any way possible lily! Hopefully you will be able to heal (slowly but surely ofc) and get back into mnpl. Take your time queen and just focus on yourself and what you please🫶🏻
Thank you for sharing this very personal post. Never feel that you have to justify your actions to people when it’s a matter of your physical and mental health. I struggle with OCD and was also diagnosed as an adult despite experiencing the symptoms from a very young age, and I think what a lot of people fail to realize is that it doesn’t boil down to being a control freak or “anal.” It’s an incredibly self-punitive disorder which roots itself in your worst fears. I hope you get your groove back with time and rest and that you one day enjoy creating again. Stay well and be safe ❤️
I will always have so much love for these characters. I will admit that I was initially upset, but after reading all of this I can understand! I’m so sorry you are going through all this, Lily. Please let us know if/when Tora and Poppy’s story will continue, and I guarantee the majority of us will do whatever we can to support it to the best of our ability. Take some time, chill out, reconnect with YOU and YOURS, and f*ck the karens. We gotchu gf! Love- a long time reader and always supporter 💕
Sending Love 💜 Take care of yourself, first and foremost 🌻🫶
I understand, don't worry too much. Your health and well-being is much more important. Once you have it figured out, then continue with what is best for you. Hope everything goes well soon.
Lilly, i felt your pain as I read your post, and I need you to know that you are so important. As a person, as an artist, as a friend. The fact that you are being so transparent is commendable and brave. As much as we love MPL, or ANY of your other works, you deserve to love the work that you do. You deserve time with your family, your friends, and yourself. And you deserve to be HEALTHY! No amount of a storyline is more important than that. I direly wish that you will find the joy and motivation someday to pick back up on MPL. So many of us love it because it's an escape from reality, and it truly shows your creative talent as an artist. Not because of the perfect lines or coloring, not because of the art that you spend DAYS on, but because of the sheer idea and storyline that you have created for Tora and Poppy. You could write it in a fanfiction page and I'd be there for it! But if you decide not to continue, that's also okay, because you come first. We are with you. The ones who care aren't going anywhere. You are loved. You are important. ❤️
As much as I would love to see an ending to MPL, I understand how your work and art for it would tie into your trauma. People who don't struggle with mental illness will never understand, and they don't have to. You deserve to live peacefully and your true fans respect and love that you are taking care of you. None of the Karen's screaming now were forced to follow you all this time. You gave plenty of notice you were struggling and may not continue. I hope to see more of your art in the future when you are relaxed!
Lily, while I can’t speak for everyone, I believe that many of us in the fandom feel a deep connection to your storytelling in MPL. It resonates with us because it creates a kindred spirit that unites us with you. Like many others, I’m also an artist and creative, and I understand how debilitating it can be to force creativity when your mental health simply doesn’t allow it. It truly saddens me that the story that has brought so much joy, happiness, and connection to so many has also become a source of your mental health struggles and trauma. I can only hope that, with time to heal, you will rediscover your passion for storytelling. Without the added pressure of “The Man,” I hope you will find joy in writing Tora and Poppy’s story once more. If that day ever comes, know that you have an entire army of tiger-taming thuglets ready to pick up where you left off.
Oh, Lily!! 🥺💜 I’m sending you a BIG internet hug right now! I also struggle greatly with my mental health, so my heart & mind understand. Please take care of yourself, and know that you have a huge community of people who care about you, and truly appreciate your work & talent! 💖
There is no shame in taking care of yourself or dealing with trauma in this way. Everyone is different and every path is as long as it needs to be to get to healing. I hope you find the end of that path and reach that point, but there is no rush. Thank you for all of your art and stories you've let us be a part of. I know most of us love it and care about you enough to understand. <3
Speaking as someone with multiple issues, girl, I feel you. No shame, no hate, no answer just love and big hugs. Thank you for the joy you have brought to my life. I hope you get better and find the joy in what you do the way you once did. ❤️❤️🎵
I wish I could slap anyone giving you shit right now. This is YOUR life and YOUR story, and we're all just lucky to be along for the ride. You don't owe anyone anything. Do what you need to do for you and take care of yourself. Don't let the negativity in, and remember that for every individual being an entitled shit, there are dozens more of us who love and support you, if not more.
Lily, you’ve made it through so much. I hope that someday you can look back and feel proud about how much you accomplished while going through so much. You’re right though, you shouldn’t have to go through this much. I hope you get plenty of time to rest and heal ❤️
I love you!! I see you and I support you!!🤗🥰 I'm very glad you stepped away when things were too much and overwhelming. But I'm so sorry you experienced all of that! I'm a ride or die fan. ❤️ I would love more MPL but hey, I don't blame you for not continuing if it's tinged in bad energy. You don't need that. I will wait to see your next projects and art! 🤞🥰😆
I’m sorry for what you’re going through. It’s not worth doing something you love when you feeling this way. I hope to see you soon. ❤️
Thank you for sharing your hardships and how much mental, emotional, and physical toil you went through. I hope you find peace of mind and joy in your passion again. Whatever you decide to create, I’m here for it!
I'm sorry, you have to go through all that 💔 And congrats for making choices to get better!
Hi Lily, I've mostly been a lurker for the past year or so, reading the spicy eps but not keeping up with MPL. Just wanted to thank you for being vulnerable and sharing even though you certainly don't owe us that. I am so sorry for everything you have been through and wish you happiness and health going forward. Also, as others have said, I never thought you were lazy when you had a late ep! As someone who also struggles with anxiety and ADHD symptoms, this stuff is hard. Hang in there!
I'm so sorry you've had to go through all that! Please stop blaming yourself and beating yourself up though. You've had an incredibly tough time and had to deal with rigid structure that doesn't bend for people struggling with mental illnesses, and it sounds like yours have been super tough to deal with especially given the situations. None of that is your fault. We're all different and have our own mixed bag of mental fuckery that none of us chose to have doing the best we can. Meanwhile we live in a society that doesn't leave space for ND people to succeed if they can't act like they're not ND. You've done the best you could with the cards you were dealt and the art you made from it all has been beautiful and wonderful. I am so glad to have found MPL because I LOVE your art style and its helped inspire me figuring out my own. Youre probably my favorite artist I follow tbh. If MPL never continues thats ok. Im just glad to have found you and your art ❤ I hope everything from here only gets better for you!
Liiilllyyyyy ;-; I'm so sorry you went through all this but I'm glad you're at a place where you can look back and gain perspective. I have brother with OCD, depression/anxiety, and ADHD and he wound up doing FMLA leave for his mental health. We've been trying to get him to quit his job for months- his therapist thinks it have him CPTSD. I'm sorry that he had to hit that rock bottom to need to take FMLA, but I'm so glad he did because that time off gave him a lot of perspective to work on making some positive changes. I hope it's smoother sailing for you from here on out <3
Love you Lily, and your work. May you find peace in your art again 💜
ahhh man, I relate to the burnout so bad but the additional mental and emotional load you've been through is just 💔 I said this in your initial post, but as much as I'll miss MPL if you never come back to it, your health and sanity is so, so much more important. I hope the end of this chapter in your life, whether temporary or permanent, allows for some clarity and healing for you 💔 *hugs*
Thank you for sharing Lily, means a lot. I’m afraid of sharing things about myself and how come I have difficulty when I talk and explain things then vice versa when other people talk and I have no clue what they are saying. Pretty much goes in one ear then out the other… Overall, glad and amazed you shared this with and to your fans. As always, a fan will stick around 🤟🏼💙
Thank you for sharing, I’m sure it was not easy voicing everything out. I only started reading on webtoon because of MPL so I will wait here whenever you are ready to come back. Take your time recovering, spend more time with your love ones, and smile! ❤️
Thank you so so much Lilly for everything that you’ve gave us over the years. PML has and always be my favorite comic, so thank you for everything for that I truly appreciate all that you’ve done on those episodes. (I even named my little calico kitten at poppy). I’m so sorry you have had to go through so much. It’s hard, life can suck and you need to do what’s best for you no matter what anyone says or feels. Like my best friend tells me all the time “You got this!” I’m very proud of you and for taking care of yourself finally. You owe nothing to anyone, and anyone that says otherwise may they step on legos without shoes on for the rest of their lives (my nephews saying when he’s mad at people, I absolutely love it and hope it makes you smile). Please take care and know that there’s more love from most of us than the nasty people on here. I can’t wait to see what the future holds and hope you find your spark again. Cheers! -a new author writing a book that is also trying finding her way in the dark ❤️❤️
As someone with ocd, I can totally relate to therapy being a definite step back! I never found it validating to go through my already obsessive and spiraling thoughts. Not that I’ve found an alternative solution or anything 😅 you’re not alone! I’m so sorry for the stink bugs who have been harsh and lacked even the most basic empathy 💜 people forget it’s a privilege to get to see your work, and you don’t “owe” them anything!! I hope you heal 💜
My dear, it saddens me that you feel like you’ve “fucked so many things up, and let so many people down” because your health always comes first and none of these people matter. Thank you for your bravery in sharing your behind-the-scenes experience here. Sending you so much love and positivity along with all the rainbows and unicorns you need to find your happiness again!
Lily, thank you for sharing. That took a lot of courage to voice, and I admire your strength. Your personal health and well-being are so much more important than any art. I'm glad you're focusing on yourself and taking the needed steps to move in a healthier direction. ❤️
Thank you so much for taking the time to write all this, i know it must’ve been very difficult reliving the past 5 years.. All in all, the best way to do this has already been done (taking your time with everything, taking a much needed breather and focusing on the important aspects of your life right now in an indefinite manner rather than feeling pressured into continuing a story you don’t feel familiar with) I fully support you and will always support you. Your art and your being, both, are incredible and strong. Take your time, I know we will all be here waiting patiently ❤️
Much love and support to you. I’m sorry that your beautiful dream turned into a horrible nightmare but I know you can rebuild your art kingdom better and stronger in the future. 💪
Hi Lily ! I haven't commented on all this lately, but after reading everything, I feel the need to respond. First of all, thank you for sharing all this with us. You didn't have to, but you did anyway. I think the people on Patreon know very well that life hasn't been easy for you recently. We've all seen it, and that's why we've always told you to take your time. Maybe none of us directly told you to stop, but it was implied and we thought it indirectly. You could have released an episode every three months and we would have been happier than seeing you struggle every day. Lily, MPL has helped a lot of people. For me, it came during the worst period of my life, and it became a small branch I was desperately clinging to. (But maybe too… much?) By closing this chapter, you're also closing mine, and in a way, I thank you for that. Today, a lot of things are changing in my life (in short: coming out of depression + 💍 ) and the fact that you're saying this today is moving me forward in every way. In short, we loved your story because you put love and passion into it. None of us were interested in reading a factory-made story, without emotion and done by force, Lily. We all felt it. That's why we're on Patreon, because it's the passionate Lily that interests us, not the other one. The one who occasionally creates beautiful and meaningful art for us, (you should meet her, she’s cool 😌) Will I miss MPL terribly? Yes. Am I glad you're stopping? Yes. Today, I'm terribly sorry for you. Because I know what it's like to be “far” from the people you love (because of work), and to let capitalism steal the time you could have with them. I'm also sorry for you for choosing Webtoon and coming across money-hungry and production-obsessed sharks. However, I'm also sorry for the readers who clung to MPL like a lifeline and won't see the rest. I think your only reproach in this is that you didn't communicate enough with the readers on Webtoon, unlike what you do with us. But for the rest, Lily, turn this page of your life, walk with your head held high and think about your health and loved ones first and foremost. Life is way too short. You’ll be okay.
I have had lost mt grandma who was in ICU for six months during the time period of '21 and '22. I have developed depression from it. So i know that part and feel how you are feeling. It is awful. Keep hour head up Lilly! I hope you can find enjoyment in thi gs again and your art since you started out enjoying it. I can say MPL your storyline (most definitely Tora😏) had got me through alot of my nights. Knowing i can just hope on and just read. I have reread MPL and it never gets old. I find enjoyment every time i read and be like how can i forget that happened! I will be a MPL no matter what, wether it contiunes or not. (One thing i thought was so funny when i first picked up the story was Tora absolutely looks like my boyfriend😂 my boyfriend has long hair, plugs and tattoos. I love it!!) So thank you Lilly and wish you nothing but happiness! And #fuckthehaters
You’re amazing and surviving and that’s all we can ask. We are not here to run your life with guilt and expectation- we are passengers along for whatever ride you show us. If anyone can’t get that, they don’t deserve the glimpse into your wonderful art and life that you allow. I feel you. I’ve been pushing through hard autistic burnout for years, culminating in outpatient mental health programs every summer for the past 3-5 years. This year stopped me in my tracks between losing my dad 3 months after he was diagnosed with what we were told was highly treatable cancer and now the loss of my 19 year old cat who literally kept me alive at times. This year sucks. And the expectations leading up to everything this year have sucked. We miss you, but mostly just want to know you’re healthy, happy and taking care of yourself.
Love you I’m so excited for whatever comes next always puts a smile on my face to see notifications from your Patreon
Thank you so much for sharing everything you're going through and been through. While I love MPL , YOU are more important. Mental health as well as physical health are worth so much more than regularly scheduled episodes and I hope you can be renewed knowing that there are so many of us that care more about YOU than everything else. We are here for you and we will continue to be here for you!
Thank you for being so open, and please know it is an honor to support you and an absolute joy to experience your art. 🦐
Between me and my sister, we cover all your conditions. I completely understand where you’re coming from and while I would some day love to know the end of MPL, I understand why you can’t go back to it. I’m amazed you were able to persist as long as you held on. I have GAD and chronic depression, my sister has diagnosed OCD, GAD, ADHD, and depression as well. She is an artist who works from home, and is currently in a hiatus herself. On a side note, your conditions could make you eligible for Disability, if you need to go down that route. (Advice, get a lawyers help.)
Your story feels achingly familiar to me. I’m so sorry you’re going through it. It’s terrifying to think you’re letting others down. But we must protect and nurture ourselves first, and I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself. I hope you find peace from this decision 💜
Oh Lily. I hope you know that we love you and understand. I'm so sorry this happened to you. In a far lesser scale, I once had a story I worked on for roughly a decade, where my real life had dug into it so hard that it frequently went off the rails and I was often stuck fumbling with how to gear it back on course. Luckily for me, it was unpublished and only at the headache of a beloved beta reader whenever I'd spin off. I cannot imagine the stress of having it be SO public and semi-permanent. Take what time you need to decide what you'd like. Hell, I'd even happily buy a novelization of MPL with maybe a page or two drawn every chapter (or none at all!). I crave that happy ending for Tora and Poppy, but I far more value you and your health above anything. So do what you need to do. We love you ❤️
You know what, all the great authors and artists through history have had mental health crisises. It's a terrible cost to pay for brilliance. @lilydusk, you're an amazing storyteller. I hope you can find a peaceful balance, and may your joy return tenfold for every hour you spent stressing to make others happy. I've loved the community here! May whatever comes next for you be an incredible gift for you.
You are and have always been worth the wait. Do what you need to take care of you. ❤️
Lily, thanks for sharing all that you've been going through. I'm very sorry to hear and hope that you can take the time you need to heal and do what makes you happy and at ease. I think many people forget that creators are human too and are going through life and its many struggles. MPL is an amazing story and I found it during a time when the world was going through a difficult time. It gave me a welcomed distraction but as life would have it, I had my own stress and difficulty to get through so I wasn't able to be as invested as I was before. Ultimately, and I know many would agree, having MPL during these years was a great shared experience and we can only hope that one day we can see how it unfolds, but if not, that's OK too! I'll still stick around to see what you create and to support your healing and continued growth 💕
Lily, I am so sorry for all that you've had to deal with 💔 taking care of your health, mental and physical, is so important and I'm glad that you've done and are doing that even though this is a very vulnerable thing to put out there 🤍🤍 all the karens out there can kick rocks! 👊🏻
Girl I have diagnosed ocd with many adhd symptoms. I completely understand. I’ve also had breakdowns with severe depressive episodes that lasted months. You deserve to take care of yourself. That’s more important. I’m glad you are advocating for yourself. A very strong and hard thing to do.
First off, thank you so much for everything you have created and know that we have loved every minute of it. However, as a fellow ND adult, I completely understand where you coming from. Now you are now putting your needs first. Even those who are self-employed need to make accommodations for themselves. It is especially difficult with OCD because you are always second guessing what you do, and for me it doesn’t allow me to start anything b/c it has to be perfect from the beginning yet I know it can’t be. Being burnout does not help then situation at all and those who don’t understand will never understand. I reached that point with my love for studying Egyptology, but it has been 10 years. If you never pick it up again, that is fine. Burnout can last for a long time. Take your time to follow things that you may enjoy even if it isn’t the stories for now. Your mental health is the most important and accommodating yourself. If you think you may try therapy again, find someone who specializes in ND people including one who knows about OCD. As I said and many others have said as well, take the time to refocus and find your happy place again. Much love and know the die hards will stay and throw all of the positivity at you whether you like it or not. XD
I also have ADHD, anxiety, depression, and signs of OCD. I understand and support you 100%. I know you don't know me, but I'm proud of you anyway for making such a hard decision for your health. Big hugs.
Holy absolute fuck that’s a lot for any one person to be going through!!! I’m so happy to hear you are doing better! I will be sending love and light your way! Excited for your next chapter!
I fully support doing what's best for you and I'm sorry you went through all of that. If you ever do something with MPL again, just know I'll be there to read whatever it is in a heartbeat. If you don't pick it up again, that's fine too 🤍
Nothing is worth your mental/emotional health. I've been here since the beginning and will continue to support you. Best of luck in getting yourself back to the track you wanna be on, with or without MPL. I'll be here! :)
I’m sorry that you have been on the receiving end of so many unfortunate people being unaccepting of the fact that you are human. That you do go through things and deserve the chance to breathe freely. I am sorry for your loss and am sending you all the virtual hugs I can and sending all the positive vibes and well wishes. You have to do what is best for you and what feels right to help you move forward with your life. We love you and all that you’ve done. Taking care of yourself and your mental health is absolutely important. I am glad that you are taking the time to feel better and look for avenues that make life easier for you. So that you’re able to move at a pace that feels right and comfortable. You deserve that at the absolute very least. Wishes you all the best, Lily! 💕💕
Thank you for having the courage to share your health struggles! I have my own cocktail of BS that I deal with daily, so I really feel for you. And I'm so sorry it's turned what you loved into something traumatic. I hope with time and healing, you will learn to love it again ❤️
Hi Lily, I am so sorry for everything you went through and my condolences to you and your family for your losses. Your health is most important, so you should never have to apologize for putting it first. I have been a huge fan since Asura's Bride, though only recently became your Patreon member when you started MPL. I had been diagnosed with a cocktail of mental heath disorders a while back and have been trying to find a way to quiet the OCD and anxiety I have as well. I found that reading your work, over and over, really helped. I just wanted to thank you for creating what you have, and never thought any of the hateful things that those Karens have said, and especially never thought you were lazy. Your art is gorgeous and I will continue to support you as you have unknowingly supported me these past few years. Thank you for sharing yourself with us through the posts and your art. Sending you tons of love and support ❤️.
Awww take care of you! As a fellow content creator, I completely understand burn out and then everything else you had to deal with. It’s important that you enjoy what you do. I can’t wait to see what you have planned in the future.
hello, I'm a French fan. I have followed you for several years. I love your work. I understand your decision. I will remain faithful and continue to follow your work on patreon. I hope you find pleasure and happiness in your art.❤
Big squishy hugs Lily. 🤗 You are an amazing person and fuck the rest. 😘
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Dealing with grief is not easy and takes time. I am so sorry for the loss of your family members. You need to do what is best for you. Sharing your art is not easy and when it becomes a job, well you know it can suck out all the fun of doing. This fan is interested in what comes next.
Dearest Lilly, thank you for your honesty and art. You are stronger than you know and have helped a lot if us deal with our own life's stress. I worked more than half my life doing a job I loved (veterinary nursing) I had awful unaddressed/undiagnosed mental health issues (thanks genetics!) I pushed so hard for years and neglected myself and so many others. I self destructed a relationship after my boyfriend moved more than 10 hrs to be with me. Work and everything else came before my health and happiness. Abbreviated version of long ass trauma: I was a shell of a human who barely functioned and couldn't even enjoy the job I loved. (Side note: vet med in the US is a ridiculously toxic field. It leads with being one of the highest rates of suicide) after getting to therapy/meds/living with daily SI for way too long, I got my GAD, Severe Clinical depression, and codepency issues diagnosed and managed. Never apologize for taking care of your mental health, it is really a debilitating thing when it goes south. In the midst of my very rough recovery, I found your art. There are so many times I read an episode of MPL and felt wow, Poppy and Tora are damaged like me but happiness can happen. Your art was there when I was feeling alone. Thank you so much and know I will continue to follow and support, you got this and are a true warrior for getting through to the other side of the shit storm
I'm sorry you had to deal with any of that. Your health comes first and if anyone tells you otherwise, you gotta walk away. The mindset of producing more and faster isn't sustainable and only turns you into a machine and ignores the human behind the work. I'll still support you as long as I can at whatever pace feels right for you.
Lilly.. elephant hug, elephant time, elephant love, elephant support.. what is it that you need from your fanclub? We'd get you one.. I remember somewhere in the first chapters someone pointed to me that you'd reused the same picture of Tora twice few frames apart and they were like "what a lazy approach". But me, I didn't even notice until I was pointed to it. I started looking.. no, staring.. and I realized that all it took to turn grim Tora into smiling Tora was 6 damn lines... not even lines, strokes! If that's not the talent then I don't know what is... After everything you've endured I hope you at least don't doubt yourself in that... For me those 6 lines were one of the most impressive manifestations of talent I have ever seen. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. So if someone prefers to see and point ugly things here, maybe it's time to help them go looking somewhere else.. I'm not an artist.. I'm an engineer, though I like to say it's a form of precise art. And I'm a handicrafter. And I know that feel all too well, like being completely unable to touch something you loved dearly at some point. It destroys you same as it destroys that object, be it tangible or not. So far I have few projects, both in engineering and in handicrafts, stashed away waiting for that painful feeling to fade away... or be somehow resolved. And I have same few projects that I was able to pick up and finish after a very long break with the same spark I'd had for them before something broke them for me. You remaining healthy and happy yourself, is the only condition that makes any of that possible. So please let yourself be what you need to be.
No story is worth its creator's health. I am glad you are putting yourself first and prioritizing your health. I've been through some of what you have, and I am so sorry you had to experience it. Some things do get tied to traumatic experiences, unfortunately. Sometimes all you need is time and it works out fine; other times...it can be hard to separate. I got my first art tablet that I was really excited about on the day my daughter received a terminal diagnosis. She died two weeks later. Everything in my life came to a screeching halt. It wasn't until this year, three years later, that I started dabbling in art again, and used that tablet for the first time. Other things came easier to get back into, so I started with those, because I missed them so. Before that, I dealt with burning out with my AuDHD and working, being so anxious and depressed it was hard to function... All that to say, I get it. I love MPL, and it's one of my favorite stories (of any kind), but I am not mad that you had to put it away. Maybe some day, you will find yourself drawn to that story and characters again, and want to continue it. More than anything, I wish you peace and comfort, for you to have better days. As long as I can, I will support you, and thank you for sharing your story and experience.
The number one thing you should do is the best thing for yourself. You have done the amazingly strong work of knowing when something is too much and then making that stop. I love the story you have given and am thankful I got as much as I did. Rest and come back to yourself and family. Nothing else is that important. ❤️
Everything you did shows how strong you are. You have to take care of yourself because no one else can. I am excited for what you might do in the future. You are a great artist!
Lily, your health comes first. ❤️ My comfort for your loss. Thank you for sharing this with us; it can be incredibly intimidating to be vulnerable, especially with strangers over the internet. I'm sorry you have received such harsh criticism without being shown grace during this difficult time. Sending you all the love and positive vibes ❤️
I am so sorry that you’re going thru all that! :( I know how hard it can be sad enough. You have to do what’s best for you! We love you and wish the best!
I am so sorry you are having to go through all of that. It sucks when something you used to love doing becomes what makes you ill. I totally get it. My now ex-husband (still friends) had thought about doing a comic and the thought alone would have his OCD and Anxiety spiraling. I also understand what it’s like going through mental illness and have close family members pass. I have MDD, General Anxiety Disorder, and borderline OCD (according to my psychiatrist) and lost my Dad on Halloween 2015. Four days after his birthday, and just a couple weeks after mine. It was very difficult. The only solace I had was the fact that he was in in-home hospice and I got to spend his last months with him. Within four years I lost him and two very close cousins, all in October. Needless to say, my depression tends to get the best of me in October. I am extremely happy that you are putting you and your health first. That is what is most important. If people can’t get that then they can just f*** off. I’m hoping that you can find joy in your art again, at your own pace. Let it be a release for your feelings. And please think try to think of it like this, your art is for you, if others like it, great, but it doesn’t matter. All that matters is whether you like it. Wishing you continued healing and peacefulness.
I 100% know where you are coming from. I too have OCD and ADHD and PTSD. Thank you for sharing and I know how hard it can be to put yourself first . So just remember you are still here! So you are strong! Will always support you.❤️💯
We love you and will still be here! I'll support you on here as long as I can. I'm happy you're taking care of yourself. Please take the time to be with your family.
Lily you health come first, sorry for what you going through, I know is not easy to do something tha you love wen you have anxiety and depression im going through the same thing and is not easy to take decisions for fear off disappoint somebody else,like I sad you mental and fiscal health comes first I wish you the best and find your joy in what you do again. I will be hear supporting you because I love everything that you do and like I said in one of my comments thanks to you im overcoming of my depression, you are an example for me . Thank you and taker yourself
Your are so strong to share this with everyone. OCD and anxiety are both beasts in their own right, but they’re overwhelming with the other things going on in your life. I have loved MPL, and while I wish we could see a happy ending, I’d rather see you, as the creator, be happy, healthy, and creating things that fill your cup. Thank you for sharing what’s going on. May you continue to create art at your own pace and in ways that bring joy.
As someone who stopped their art studies bcs it caused them art block (and probs a bit of undiagnosed depression haha), and who struggled for a few years to appreciate drawing again, i feel you and forcing yourself might be the worst thing to do (it was for me anyway). And that was without the pressure of having deadlines, people depending on you... That's a lot!! And you... don't owe us? I mean, no one forced us to subscribe to your patreon so if ppl are disappointed it's... very easy to just... unsubscribe? Stop reading? Idk why people feel so entitled
Thank you for the bigger picture. Looking back, a lot of thing are now clearer. Add the way WBT works to it… well… Mental illness sucks As an ADHD girl prone to depression, i think it’s a blessing and a curse.. being capable of full on creativity but unable to keep a healthy schedule Not that it was our buisiness at all but thx again for sharing! Side note: I also have the memory of an elephant and can hold a grudge So I laughed really loud at that!
Lily, I am so sorry for everything you have gone through and are going through. Please do not take what the others (the mean ones) are saying to heart (I know it is hard). Thank you for letting us know what has been going on.
Listen, you have to take care of your first. Who care what others think. The fact that it got so bad is really scary. Those of us who stick around do it because we like your content and are hoping eventually you get your MPL passion back. I know I’m willing to wait because that was my fav comic. I mean, there isn’t another tora anywhere. Not to mention the yummy spicy content you bring us lol. I hope we get a book one day (which would allow you to work on it when you can/want to). We got your back and are here to support no matter what. Just remember, you are love and you are loved ❤️
As with most of the comments on here, I'm so sorry and thank you for sharing. It cannot have been easy to decide to share all of that and make yourself vulnerable on the Internet. That alone takes a lot of strength, let alone everything else you've loved through. People who haven't dealt with mental health issues often don't understand how debilitating it is and how hard it is to function at the most basic levels, so kuddos to you!! I am truly sorry for your grief and loss of family members, and pray you are reunited with them in the afterlife. You are an amazing artist and I love every crumb I can get! MPL and Asura bride gave me happy moments in my own dark time and for that I truly thank you. I know we are random people in the world but hope you can feel our support and caring, and screw all the Karens!! You are amazing 🤩
It sounds like you have good reason to resent your own work and what it came to represent for you. Having seen this happen on a similar timeline with someone I love, yours is a completely logical response and the safest path forward that I can think of. You've given me so much joy, and will continue to whether there's new things or I revisit. I don't know if that's a comfort, but it's truth.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🙏As someone with ADHD, depression and anxiety disorders I totally understand. You are amazing. My fears of this happening to me hold me back from even trying, often. I even got fired from twice because I eventually was too stressed out to competently do my job. I'm so sorry this has happened to you, but I know you will find your joy in what you do again, even if it's an entirely new path. I'm glad that you are prioritizing you and your health. ❤️
Goddess lily 😁 I can't imagine what you've been through these years and how you felt. It's okay for you to express how you feel but you absolutely don't have to justify yourself to anyone. I'll be more than happy to wait and know what your future projects will be. And if one day you should resume Mpl and want to change the plot or whatever you want to do it will always be my favorite comic. lot of love
As most of us are saying you come first, your health always comes first. And I'm glad that through that ordeal you have gone through (and are still going through) you have realized that and that you're taking the steps required to take care of yourself. Find whatever activity, therapy or thing that helps you and let go of the things (and people) that drag you down and I'm sure things will start looking better soon! All our love and support!
Here for you in good times and in bad. You are my favourite artist/writer, whether you produce or not. We are not our work.
I'm so sorry. I was a published writer at one point and I know how mental illness can take over. Sending you all the love and good energy ❤️
I am so sorry all of this happened to you. I really am. I'm also sorry you are dealing with shitty people on here about all of this. Do what you have to do for yourself and block them asap. You don't need that negativity. The rest of us aren't going anywhere. I'm looking forward to seeing your new direction. ❤️
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Lily, first and foremost you come first. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. And you by no means had to explain yourself, though I do respect the transparency. You take care of you. I'm glad that you are in a better place. I found MPL while doomscrolling, and started reading it. I fell in love with it and told my two best friends about it. I'm sorry that this experience that should have been positive has been nothing but traumatic for you. Fuck those other people who give you shit for it. They need to realize that you are human too. With valid feelings. Hopefully one day you will be able to continue it, but if not, I completely understand and no worries at all. Keep doing you and what makes you feel good about yourself. You come first. Love you!
Lily, I'm sorry that some may have demanded for you to explain yourself. I'm sorry for everything that you've been through. Your feelings are 1000% valid. Fuck anyone else that disagrees or have been giving you a hard time. I've been following you since Asuras Bride. I don't see a reason to leave you. Eventually you'll begin on another adventure that you'll have love and excitement for and I want to be there for that. Just like in life, we may begin with a large circle around us but with time, people tend to dwindle off. And that's OK! C'est la vie, literally. Some people are only meant for a season in our lives. Remind yourself that: they're the ones who'll miss out. Let them miss it! Maybe they'll come back later, who knows. Focus on you. OCD is no joke and is always coupled up with a form of anxiety. Tbh you may never find a way to control/eliminate it, so just find a way you can live with it. Give yourself some grace and rebuild your family ties. You've always been very family and friend oriented. Don't ever allow this to take you away from those ties, please. It's not worth it. I pray that you'll get proper rest and find people that are ment to be with you. Not anyone who would waste your time or slow you down (btw, that was crazy, they took the Whole 6 months babes?!) If you return to MLP in a later year, great. If not, great! Your health is always #1. In regard to the triggers, I fully understand and can relate. I'm so sorry that you're going through it. It broke my heart reading it. It reminded me of when I was discovering mine for the first time, spiraling into another episode of MDD. I promise, finding ways to identifying them and learning what you'll live with and what you won't, will help by you showing what to focus on, Little by Little. Take your time and give yourself grace. This response became longer than I intended but I hope that you'll read every word and understand that its filled with lovlove and respect. The only thing I'll ask for: if you ever pick up anything else (if it will not on webtoons) please let me know. I want to be there to continue the adventure with you. To root for you along the way as you overcome hurdles. (This may stress you a bit but: please find a way to copyright Toras sexiness. I thought I saw a comic with a character that looked exactly like him but I could also be overly protective. I'll find it again and send it on here). We love you, I love you. Please get quality time with your husband. (I honestly thought that was the absences since you guys recently got married. I'm so sad learning that this was taking away time from your honeymoon phase). Please rebuild your connections then come back for us when you're ready. 🩵💙❤️🩹
You are allowed to be human, girl. You are allowed to be sick and make mistakes and fall and get up again. That's life. Get all the help you need, do what you need to do because your old "me", wiser now, needs you sane to shine again. Sending you much love, Lily. 🥰
As my bff always says: “no one can read mind, if you don’t express yourself, no one will understand you”. I’m sorry for what you’ve through. You def have been a new comer in a soul eating industry. What you pointed out is a killing and exhausting weekly release, which no one can meet without putting their health in danger. Such deadlines should be abolished. As a ADHD, depressive, anxious and burned out, sprinkled with borderline personality person I strongly suggest you to continue therapy, such as cognitive therapy or EMDR. And let’s talk about real shit: seek a psychiatrist to have access to adhd medication and antidepressants. It’s a life saviour when you’re at your lowest. There’ll always be unhappy people (I disagree with some narrative choices, but that’s my problem), and therapy helps for that haha. I wish you all the best, take care of yourself, nothing except resting, and loving cats.
I've said this before, but I'll say it again (and again and again, as many times as you need): You are more important than a comic. You have more value than a comic. And anyone who says or thinks otherwise can fuck off.
I'll patiently wait for any creative juice you come up with. That's my support for you and your talent. One step at a time. Our struggles hold us back but our resilience will keep us going. I'll stick with you.
Thank you for strength in sharing this, I truly wish you all the best.
Oh no, that sounds not good. What if you change your Methode? Then you has a little break from paint. Maybe you can write your novel oder something similar.
Lily, I am so sorry for everything that's happened. It seems like you really couldn't catch a single break, and I really feel for you. Idek what to say, and of course I'm sad about MPL, but I cant wait to see what the future holds for you as you finally are able to rest and hopefully recover. That being said, I wanna thank you for the years of MPL we had! MPL became my top favorite comic and story in general, and Poppy and Tora hold very special places in my heart. I found MPL when it first debuted and it helped me through the worst of a decade long court battle against my r*pist that ended only last year. I relied on it a lot when I was feeling down or stressed or when I was at my wits end. You truly have given all of us such a gift of a story and characters. While I hope one day you'll pick it up again, I'm incredibly grateful for the content you're putting out now and am in it for the long run either way ❤️
Oh lily sweety, I still love mpl so so much, an interesting story beautiful art and you were also one of the first I got patreon for (even though I had to take a financial break from it). anyone who says their life is perfect and without mountains to climb is a liar, but the interwebs Is perfect for making you think otherwise. Rest, learn how your brain works and what you need and you'll figure it out im sure...wishing you the best of luck and see you soon xxx
Lily you are amazing and so strong and your comics were an important part of my self care especially during covid. I hope that you are doing better
I’ve always thought that a 1 week turnaround every week was way too much to ask out of anyone, assistants or not because as the lead someone is always going to have to take the mental load of everyone’s work. I’ve taken over a year sabbatical from my position that sucked my soul dry, I’m creating a lot more art now and while at times I feel utterly content it’s very difficult not to turn it around into a glorified factory-mill. Must come with the compulsive tendencies lol. MPL may be forever tainted by trauma and that’s ok, it may be something that will never be finished and that’s ok too. If it is something that you do pick up again I anticipate it would take a lot of time and distance - as it should. It’s my belief that the MPL community will never die, you sparked something special in people Lily and the fans will keep that alive in their own creative works.
Seriouslyyyy, I don't know why Webtoon won't allow authors to release episodes once or twice a month instead
Lily, You are such a strong person and I admire you for that. Last year around this time of year my mom became horribly ill. All that kept me going was your webtoons Asura's Bride and MPL. While my mom was lost in her own world where she did not recognize any of us (her 6 children) I kept a smile on my face. The only reason I could smile was because I kept reading MPL and Asura's bride and unfortunately I lost my mom on December 1st. 2023. There was nothing I could do I saw her in that hospital bed leaving this world. But when I felt like hurting myself you kinda Saved me without knowing. This quote popped in my head. “But there is one thing I need ya to remember. No matter how dark it gets, inside ya. Always remember to leave a light on. So that someday Someone will be able to find ya in there.” I am so sorry for your losses. I am a streamer I dropped everything. I went in to a horrible depression so in a way I kinda understand you. My mom was my world, I would always talk to her about your webtoon and how you had overcome so many obstacles in life. After almost a year a close friend who is in the military Service said this words to me. What a beautiful thing it is to be able to stand tall and say "I fell apart but i survived." I have always appreciated your work and the heart you gave to MPL. Take all the time you need and even then if you don't pick up MPL again that is fine because as long as we have you MPL will be ok in a way. Thank you for sharing with us. We love you sooooooo sooooo sooooo much. I just wish you could see how much we all love you and how you changed our lives with your stories. Please get well soon. ❤️
Your mental health is Firstly the most important think. MPL is one of the best Webtoon that I ever read. Feel proud of the work you accomplished and the community you created. You have to put you first and then figure out everything else. Hugssss whatever that comes next, whenever it comes we will be here to support.
Take as much time as you need to heal and work towards where you feel comfortable to talk or share your stories again one day. As someone who just lost basically my parents this past year, grief is hell on someone with mental illness. Take your time and find yourself and what you need. Your fans who love you will always be here to support you.
I am sorry for your loss. Stay strong. 🫂
thank you so much for sharing. as someone with OCD, i also experience similar things where if i don't rewind a song a certain way, or touch the edge of my phone a certain number of times until it "feels right", i'll get scared that something bad will happen to my parent, only surviving parent. i'll spare you the details, but struggling with OCD, on top of anxiety, and other mental health problems is EXTREMELY stressful, and you have EVERY right to step away from the things triggering your OCD/anxiety. please know that you are seen, heard, and that everything you are feeling is VALID. we love you so much lily, please please please don't forget to go easy on yourself and to always try to put yourself first 🫶🏼💕💕💕💕
*comfort*
It must've been really hard for you and I'm so sorry about that. I know that personally reading MPL has helped me a lot at some point of my life it was one of the only things I looked forward to during the week. Like you said we all struggle with things in life, since then I read and admire the details because I know you put efforts into them. So part of me hopes it brings you good feelings to know that all this effort was not in vain and that we appreciate you for everything you do and are. 🫶
Thank you for telling us all of that Lily. MPL caused me to meet some fantastic ppl and it was a lifeline for me while battling breast cancer. I’m so sorry that what MPL meant to me became so tied with pain for you. I hope that one day you’ll get your spark back even if it’s just to create on here for the ppl that enjoy your little silly stories and the amazing smut. We love you. It’s ok to be a work in progress and to take that time for yourself whatever that may look like. You’re loved Lily never doubt that
jeez, i’m so so so sorry you had to go through all that, but i’m even sorrier there are people in the world like your editor/webtoon and aforementioned karens. drop ‘em in the f*ck-it bucket, they’re not worth your time, let alone your health. i can’t even begin to imagine on the level you’ve detailed here, but i do know where you’re coming from firsthand on the ocd front. i’m an infj on the spectrum who also once leaned on art for recharging/decompression, and the infinite ctrl+z mark-making loop? that b*tch defeated me permanently lol, so you’re at least doing a better job than me. 😅 there are so many people who are here because they just want to be able to see what you *do* happen to produce, so don’t worry about what you don’t. create stuff for YOU, and yeet the people who disapprove like ba sing se cabbages. 🥬💨💪😤 ✨💖✨ ps. it made me laugh how you censored karen and not f*ck - idk if it was intentional but it’s perfect and i hope you leave it like that 😂
Thank you for sharing! I love your work but I want everyone to be happy and healthy. I’m glad you are now prioritizing yourself and your health, and I hope you continue to do so no matter where you are in life🖤
I'm actually glad you shared. I feel similarly about many things. Struggling with ADHD and work proficiency and perfectionism. I've worked through many burnouts and was left with an I'm useless feeling a lot. Even though there were things I enjoyed, they turned into a weight and anguish when I no longer felt in control. MPL is your story. You can do with it what you want. You can feel about it what you want. You can change your mind. Whatever you feel about it is ok. I will support you and stay a while.
Really sorry to hear about what you’ve been going through. I’ve been flowing MPL long before it got serialised and I was so excited when it became official. Your characters have been such a joy for me but I can’t begin to imagine what a toll it was taking on you. Hope you feel better now that the weight has been lifted x
Take care of yourself queen Lily ❤️ we love you no matter what.
I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that. I also suffer from panic attacks and MDD(major depression disorder) and am on medication to help with both as well as a chronic illness called irritable bowel syndrome. All those things together gives me so much anxiety to leave my house to even run quick errands sometimes. It’s always a struggle and battle everyday. Some days are better than others. But when it’s bad, it’s bad. Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for sharing such personal information with us. You didn’t have to but you did so we could understand the bigger picture on what has transpired in your life so far. Life is definitely not easy and is always throwing us curveballs when we least expect it. But you have incredible strength and perseverance and I have full confidence you will make it through and blossom with wondrous creativity again. I wish you all the best that life has to offer and am looking forward to the future on what you have next concerning your art projects. Much love and respect to you @lilydusk ❤️❤️❤️
Oh man, not the stupid IBS 🤣🤣🤣 I feel you fam. Get well soon 💗💗
Lily so sorry you went through this. As someone who had to end my career due to experiencing burnout I am glad you made this decision for your health and wellbeing x I wish you ongoing recovery and happiness I don’t plan on going anywhere x ❤️ Love to you and your family
Aww Lily. I understand how you feel. Last year I was so burnt out from working more than full time at a hospital who used and abu$ed me til I felt like I was the most incompetent and useless theatre nurse there. I was studying full time to finish my masters and I had no support. I live alone and my family is in a different country. I was emotionally and physically a$$aulted at work and I really was in the depths of despair. I had no fun, nothing. I ended up falling into a deep deep depression. The kind where even brushing your teeth is massive task. But I had to keep going to work to pay the bills. I had to do it. I can’t imagine what it’s like to have something you love turn into something that gives you stress to this level. But I do know about OCD, S ideation, anxiety and depression. I’m happy to hear you are in a better headspace now. Truly. I hope that you continue this journey of healing and find joy in the things you love once again 🤎🤎🤎🤎
That truly sucks. I don't know you but I love you and hope all the best for you. May you soon be freed from this struggle, and may you find happiness and peace in due time 💗💗
Oef, this is rough! I hope you can find time to get better, and also forgive yourself and give yourself room to breathe and live. I have so very much enjoyed your MPL and other posts here on patreon. Hugs!