State of Sterling: On Being Hurt & Cutting Ties
Hello patrons!
It’s been quite some time since I wrote an update blog about your second best Trashgirl’s various doings. For the most part, there’s not a massive amount of exciting stuff going on in my neck of the dumpster. I’m mostly ticking along, been doing some videos I’m super proud of, wrestling is going tremendously. All told, not bad.
That said, there’s one major change, and while the long-term result will be positive, the circumstances are, to put it bluntly, really shitty.
Some of you have already noticed that for the past couple of weeks, I’ve edited the Jimquisition videos myself. That is because I am no longer associated with my former artist and editor Justin McDaniel. This association ended due to exploitative and abusive behavior. I had tolerated this behavior toward me for some time, and didn’t listen to people around me who warned me I was being mistreated. It was not until others came forward toward to tell me that they’d been treated the same way that I accepted what had happened.
I confronted him and cut ties with him over a week ago, and I’ve just been trying to process the whole thing and work out how to talk about it. I can say I put up with a lot over the years. I put up with theft. I put up with manipulative behavior. I put up with being talked about incredibly hurtfully behind my back.
When you find out the guy you pay around $30-40 an hour for an average of two to three part days a week (with breaks literally whenever wanted) is telling people you’re overworking and underpaying him and and taking their money while you’ve been lending him cash without expectation of payback and after he spent six rent-free months in your home, well, lemme tell you it hurts.
I’m not entirely comfortable sharing all the details of his exploitation of others, though they’re largely the same. I was told about emotional abuse, manipulation, objectifying and enabling behavior, and a general pattern of selfishness at their expense.
For the time being, my husband Phoenix is working on the Jimquisition’s graphics (the new work-in-progress logo is theirs, as has been the past two intros and outros). Conrad has taken over editing Podquisition, and I’m doing all of the video show editing like I used to back in the day.
Creatively, I think this is working out nicely - a lot of editing that commenters praised in recent times was stuff I’d done myself, people just assumed it was Justin because he had the main editor credit. I’m also just really, really good at cobbling together this kind of content - I’m not technically proficient or artistically skilled, but when it comes to adding engaging visuals to an audio track with just the right amount of pacing and style, I rate myself fairly highly. The fact our AI episode’s editing got so many compliments has really pleased me.
Long-term, I’m probably going to bring on another editor, at least as a backup. There’s some stuff I just can’t do, and an extra set of hands alleviates a lot of pressure when my weekends are dominated by wrestling bookings. Please be aware I’m not taking applications unless otherwise stated. I’ve got people in mind already.
You might have figured by now, but all this is why the past two episodes have gone up a lot later than usual. The sudden change, the need for new graphics, and overall emotional stress has been a lot to handle. I’m proud to say we still didn’t miss a Monday!
Since we’re here, I might as well get something quasi-related off my chest that I’ve carried for a long time. It’s been dredged up by all this, and I feel I need to get it out.
I’ve never mentioned what I’m about to talk about publicly before: I’m a previous victim of financial abuse. For many years I was in a situation where I did not have control of my own money. I was denied access to bank accounts, what money I could spend was monitored, etc. I was essentially a resource where my agency was not a concern. My value consisted of what money I could bring in, which was never seen as enough.
It’s very easy to take advantage of me, really. I’m too willing to believe in my own incompetence and glom onto someone who is “better” than me. I’m very easily gaslit, and I’m terrible at self advocacy. The short of it is that after I actually got myself out of this abusive relationship, I was left with over $100,000 of debt that had been building up without my knowledge, consent, or control.
Contrary to what some people love to claim, I’m not “rich.” That was never true to begin with (the Patreon figure is never reflective of what I take home after failed transactions, fees, taxes, paying the people I work with, etc), but I can’t emphasize enough what I lost - everything. My grandparents meant the world to me, and everything they ever left me has been lost on this as well. I never wanted to say anything about it, as desperate as it got, as devastating as it was. I can’t tell you why - Phee offered me a list of reasons why an abuse victim doesn’t speak up. I could probably just throw a dart at it.
Thanks to several hugely lucky breaks, losing everything I had, and a massive amount of accounting and sales help from my husband and Conrad, I have somehow clawed myself out of the woods. Those “Gays Can Do Whatever They Want” shirts may have quite genuinely rescued me!
That said, I’m still recovering both materially and emotionally. More than the money, being solely responsible for the consequences of what someone else did to me has been a level of pain I can’t adequately describe.
He knew this. When he told me he wanted to be paid more, when he told others I underpaid him, he knew my past history. It’s probably the part that hurts most. I couldn’t afford to keep him, but I kept him, and never once considered so much as paying him less even when I was advised to drop him. And I’d been made to feel so guilty about not taking care of him that when I was struggling the most, I raised his pay. I felt responsible. I never felt like it was enough.
There’s a lot of shame and embarrassment that comes with finding out someone you trusted was taking you for a ride, especially knowing you weren’t the only one. In fact, it wasn’t until I’d read accounts of his behavior from other people that I accepted what had happened to me. It’s like they held up a mirror when they described how they’d been made to feel. I’m eternally grateful they came forward, as much as I’m horribly sorry they had to be involved at all. They’ve asked to have their privacy respected, so I’m not bringing them any further into this. Once again, I’m incredibly thankful for them.
It’s all just so… sad. I’ve had turns feeling angry, feeling ashamed, feeling afraid. More than anything, I just feel sad. Anyway, all of this took more words than I’d planned. This post was not meant to be dominated by that. In truth, I wanted to say nothing. I wanted it to just go away. But that’s not something I feel I get to do.
I want to thank Phee, Conrad, Jane, and Laura, as well as my friends Ollie and Mark who all supported me while dealing with all this. As much as stuff like this can damage your ability to trust, I try not to let myself be too guarded. This has opened me up to be hurt. It’s also allowed me to have support I wouldn’t ever trade away.
MOVING ON! Alongside organizational change, I think the Jimquisition itself is having a really positive creative step forward lately. I mentioned in our Under 800,000 Subscriber Special that I’d made a concerted effort to have the show be less depressing, with subject matter more in line with what a lot of fans said they preferred. Shockingly, addressing all the “real reasons [I’m] losing subs” except for the reason I’ve put forth hasn’t changed anything. However, since the new year I can confidently say I’ve been doing some of my best work to date.
This is especially true in recent weeks. My episode on Hogwarts was incredibly difficult to make, but the response has been tremendous, with many calling it the best succinct presentation of the game’s problem they’ve seen. It made all of the resulting harassment from transphobes and Rowling simps (same difference) worth it! The -800K Special was a similarly tough episode, especially as I had just had the Justin bomb dropped on me, but the end result was so good and I’m still buried under a mountain of supporting responses from viewers. Thank you so much! Then we did this week’s AI video, in which I really felt the need to prove that I could edit the show better on my own (with a little help from NEON 35-2). Given the response from viewers, I think the multiple stressful days I poured into it paid off.
I’ve had to cope with some shitty stuff lately, but at the same time I’ve felt a fire lit under me. I’ve not been as creatively invested in my work since forever, and there’ll be some cool stuff coming. I can tell you that something recently started stirring in the basement, as a spoon might stir a certain corn-based cereal.
At night, I hear it wail. The pain. The terror. The nutrition.
I think I’ll wrap up our update for now, though. Got some reviews in the works - hopefully I’ll have ones written for Kirby and Octopath II soon.
Also, my current confirmed wrestling dates are:
March 18th, Blackpool: PCW’s Women’s Road to Glory Tournament.
March 25th, Leeds: True Grit Wrestling. I’ll be fighting Priscilla, Queen of the Ring.
There are other dates TBA including some HUGE ones in May and August. I can’t wait to show you.
That’s it. Thank you so so SO much for your support and the so many kind messages I’ve gotten lately. I have struggled to respond, but please know they’re been read and they are amazing.
Thank you all for letting me continue to do what I do.
Stephanie.
Comments (105)
was gonna say, I noticed a change when you said the videos were edited by AI now as a bit, but I never thought it was worse... You're nailing it, Steph, damn. Wishing you the absolute best you bloody legend!
Much love you as you get through this - Been a supporter for several years myself and my partner has been watching your videos every monday for over ten years. We intend on continuing to be there for you because you are a smart cookie and damned right you've earned yourself that title of Cassandra of the video game industry. You were smart enough to spot this stuff early on, and you've continued to grow to be even more equipped to break it down further as it gets on with it. Quite frankly, your editing skills are great - my fiance had thought you'd actually invested more money into editing in the last couple before I told her about this post! When you say the videos were late, they were still delivered on Monday, so we hardly noticed - not late at all in our books. You're doing fantastic given the circumstances. Hope things stabilize for you soon and you're able to take even just a moment to catch your breath and appreciate the wonderful growth you've achieved these past few months, and how even this shitty situation is a further opportunity to grow in a new direction with a new editor (should you choose to get one because again, your skills are actually pretty awesome!) Thank god for you!
Oh no! Really sorry that you've had to relive traumatic experiences with an employee. Fuck Justin. Now I feel extra bad because I sent you a fan art with the old logo and well-wishes to you and your team a day before I saw this post. Not intentional!
Thank you for sharing this with us, it really means a lot. Public figures opening up about abuse is extremely brave, and I hope any other victims reading this feel a little less alone today. You're an absolute star. One of the few great journalists working in the industry and one of the funniest people alive to boot. You've been through so much in the decade or so I've been following your work, and not only did you never miss a Monday, you've arrived in 2023 the most powerful and beautiful version of yourself you've ever been. Thankyou again, so much.
I'm sorry Justin was treating you so shitty. No one deserves that. I've been taken advantage like that by people I trust and it always sucks so I feel u.
Hey Steph, I'm a long time fan and... I'm kinda disappointed in you with this one. If all of this is 100% true, it's still not something you should share with your fans. This ultimately is a personal, financial, and communication dispute with a friend and employee - and you should have left it at that. Also: you were the person with the power in this situation. You directly controlled how much Justin had to live on. Maybe you both saw it differently - maybe he saw it as full time work - all I know is he didn't have another job too for what ever reason, so ultimately, Justin was reliant on you to cover his cost of living. Maybe Justin didn't get another job on purpose - I don't know, wasn't there. But this also means we can't really verify any this, and that's a crap place for your fans to be in. My heart goes out to you about the financial abuse - a similar thing happened to me. And I'm terribly sorry that this has brought up all of those feelings again. I hope you're able to take some time to heal, and that you are supported by your loved ones. EDIT: You know what, actually, this was a pretty knee-jerk and rude response of me, and I'm sorry. I even said it myself: I don't know what went on, and it was rude to presume I could make any kinda judgment call about two strangers. I'm sorry about that, and I'm sorry you're going through it. Please take care and have rest.
I'm so sorry about all this. You are loved by the people that know you and loved by all of us here xx
So so so much love to you. 💗
It beggars belief that there are people out there who think they can get away with doing that shit
I am so sorry that you were hurt and taken advantage of like this - I can't imagine how difficult its been to deal with, but I'm glad you have such a good support system. You deserve a good support system! And I think you're right - your past couple of videos really have been something special, so I think you're set to do bigger and better things going forward from here. Upped my pledge for the next little while to hopefully do even a tiny bit to help with the changeover. <3 We're rooting for you!
Sorry that this has happened. Take care of yourself 🙏🏾
Deliberately exploiting a victim of abuse... that's utterly vile. More than ever, I'm glad you have your husband and your friends in your corner.
Sorry to hear this but also glad that you have a support network and good people around you. You live and learn and going forward those voices of doubt and warning will likely play a bigger part in the grey matter! Aside, I recently joined your Patreon after watching your -800K episode. Viewer for years. Your content is fab; salty yet refreshing. You cut into the heart of matters like a fucking boss girl. You have conviction and integrity that many, including so-called journos, could barely conceive let alone dream about. Please continue doing you. You have so much support and so many fans.
Your content is beautiful and you are beautiful, Steph! I love watching you and I'm so sorry this happened to you. You deserve so much better. It's a royal shame that those of us with empathy and compassion get exploited so often by those without. Here's to hoping you have a happy life going forward, now that you've cut this person out of your life. When you have an army of supporters, it's easy to forget the individual. But I think I speak for each and every one of us who is still sending you our dollars when I say that we support you, we have your back. You can call on all of us, or you can call on one of us. I for one have had my life improved by your content - it's so encouraging to see someone who is as angry as I am at the excesses of capitalism. And it's encouraging to see someone else fighting for who they is just as I fight for who I am, as a fellow trans person. You have earned far more than my dollar - you have earned my respect and admiration. I hope my ramblings have made my feelings clear. May your days forever be happy, and may you live your best life.
Two sides to every story. I encourage everyone here to read Justin's account of things as well. (via twitter) As an editor on YouTube myself, this whole thing hit differently. Despite it all, I wish you both the best and will happily continue my support because The Jimquisition is incredibly important to me and the work Steph has done over the years has legitimately left a positive impact on the industry.
I don't comment often but I just wanted to drop in to say I love you Steph (not in a creepy stalker way, really. Merely in a parasocial "You're a really cool person on the internet" way!) and I am so sorry what you've been through! <3
I haven't been in a good headspace to consume your content much lately, but I'll keep supporting you as long as I can. The specifics differ greatly, but your pains resonate with my own past suffering quite strongly. I'm glad you're moving forward; I know how hard it can be, and the steps you've had to take might be necessary but that doesn't make them feel any less brutal. I'll support you with clicks when I can, dollars while they last, and encouragement forever; you do great work and deserve better. Thank God for you!
You both hate (the Justin thing) and love (the renewed creative vigor) to see it. Thank God for you, Steph!
I'm sorry you went through that. :(
Good on you for taking a positive step forward. I've always appreciated you as a creator and as a person.
That explains a bit. As someone who had to deal with a relative who decided to screw over the rest of my family by legally finagling everyone else's inheritance by tricking a grandparent on their deathbed, it really fucking sucks when someone you trusted puts dollars over your trust. Cutting them off hurts, but it's a pain that'll heal, given enough time.
I don't know if this will help, but I upped my pledge because of this post. The content is worth way more than I'm paying for it, anyway. Hopefully, in the future, when things are less tight, I'll be able to afford to up it a few more times. Thanks for being you, Steph. You're the person who made me realize I was nonbinary, so I'll always be grateful towards you and what you do. We need as many LGBT people in the public consciousness as possible, and I fully believe you're an example of how to do it right.
Not even worth chokeslamming
Eyup Steph! I am an avid supporter of your work, and want to say a bit. I don't always whole heartedly agree with you without caveat, I would love to sit down and have at it with you sometimes. But you are without a shadow of a doubt the most honest, forward thinking, and well reasoned voice in this insane, absuive, terrifying plane of discourse we've found ourselves. I hope you continue with gusto and am enorormous impressed, and needless to say satisfied, with the quality of work you've recently put out! Thank you for never giving up on what you believe to be right, being open to nuanced criticism and discussion, and above all a staunch and unyielding advocate for the downtrodden, silenced, and marginalised. You are an inspiration and I would love to buy you a beverage one day. Kind Regards Tom
Good god, sorry you had to endure this bullshit. What a scumbag :( Still, I will continue to rewatch a lot of the stuff he edited, because your content overall is invaluable to me. Quick question though: I know you don't allow ads (copyright deadlock and all that), but if people who have YT Premium watch your videos, do you get compensated? I'll continue to support here, but I'm really curious if YT pays you anything for Premium views. All the best, sending much love from Romania ❤️
I wish I could give you a hug and share a pint with you.
That totally sucks Steph, so sorry you had to go through it.
Sometimes the best revenge is a life well-lived. This is awful to have to deal with, and I get it- by god do I get it, in so very many ways. This isn't your fault. It was you that let things go on, true, but you shouldn't have to guard yourself against toxic people in the first place -- and when we are responsible for someone's wellbeing, saying "I've had enough" is incredibly hard because whatever befalls them afterwards feels like it's a direct response to our choices (when in reality, we've simply allowed the consequences of their actions to finally catch up to them.) You are a good person in a world of bastards, Stephanie. Be kind to yourself now more than ever. You've been working hard and people can see that. Despite the internet being a nightmare and all the struggles we face, you haven't compromised who you are as a person to try and get ahead. Your integrity and sincerity are priceless, and you may be a trashgirl, but you're shiny trash, like a three musketeers wrapper or a pop tab. A lot has happened, but I'm sincerely glad you've stuck around -- and I hope that the rest of this year and all the years to come are bright for you. You're good people.
Steph I'm sorry you had to deal with that. 🫂
Appreciate the update. Glad things are trending in a better direction and I hope they continue to.
Thanks Steph for sharing all these with us, I cant imagine it being easy to post all of these out.
Big hugs. Thank God for you and your resilience.
Commander, you’re the fucking best. 🫂
while im very sad to hear about the abuse, its good to hear that you have gotten through it with some positivity on the other sider... best wishes <3
One day, the primary feeling around this will be, "Oh, good damn thing we got the stain OUT of our lovely dress." One day. For now: you didn't deserve this, you are one of the few keeping a little breathing room in this air pocket for all of us buried under billionaire sympathy. If something you feel like you should have noticed slipped through the cracks, I understand because I can see how much worry and work you give. I'm sorry doing what you do for me opened you up to being taken advantage of. I wish I could fix the way the unfairness burns.
Im so sorry to hear whay you have been going trough. I really hope you will get it all sorted and can get the past behind you stephanie. Been supporting you for year now and will keep suporting you.
Holy shit, Stephanie, that's awful. I finally got off my butt and subscribed after the 800K special, and I wanted to chime in and say that as someone who watched you occasionally back in the Escapist days, and then occasionally in the years after, and then mainlined 400 episodes over the course of 2022, watching the growth and depth of the channel at high speed has been an absolute wonder. Wishing you the absolute best, and looking forward to what 2023 brings.
As always Thank god for You
Well, I don't think anyone can truly be safe from being taken advantage of and the aftereffects of it are absolutely rough, I'm so glad to hear your circle around you is helping to keep you going and supported <3 Taking these steps is so crucial and I'm glad to see you caring for yourself first and foremost. You've never failed to bring amazing insight and critique into the world and I'm so infinitely glad I've been able to help support you financially through these times. I'll wear my Gays can do Whatever shirt with somehow even more pride than before, knowing it could somewhat help!
Sending you all the internet hugs Steph, I'm sorry you've had to deal with all of this shit 💜
I'm glad you're getting to a better place and taking care of yourself and those that are important to you. As someone who has suffered a lot of emotional and financial abuse you have my sympathy. Keep on keeping on, you're doing awesome.
I'm really sorry to hear that. <3 I wish you all the best.
It's really easy for someone who has a comfortable income to be taken advantage of, I've seen it amongst my own friends of those who got their tech-startup payout. And personally, when you can cover everything you can 'forget' things and they stop caring about each $50 but they will come to bite you when it becomes tens of thousands. Much sympathy that it couldn't end amicably, been worried since you moved. You have been looking much better since you were doing those out-of-doors episodes last year and more wrestling, so... keep doing what makes you happy!
I pray that what's in the basement isn't signaling that it's about to spawn. Oh, the humanity if the basement burst and out poured hundreds, nay, THOUSANDS of little milky abominations ready to spread the prudish message of Mr. Kellogg to children everywhere. "Don't touch your 'special place'," they might whisper. "Here. Let me dispense a corn-based product, that has been specially formulated to reduce your libido, directly into your mouth hole. There. There there, now. Let me wipe the milk dribbles from your face, there..." (shudder) Oh, the humanity! 😉 Congratulations on passing into a new and healthier phase of your life. Well done! Also, I knew SOMETHING was different with your videos, but I couldn't quite place why exactly they were BETTER! 😎🤘 At any rate, take care, Steph, and crew, too! It's time for a new Era of Greatness! Thank God for you! 😉 ☮️❤️🌈
Sending you lots of love Steph. 💜
Sorry that this happened to you Steph. Nobody deserves to go through something like that. Glad you have a good support network. Sending you lots of love.
I first came across you on the Destructoid podcast and I always loved your frankness (and fucking Willem Dafoe 😂). I lost touch for 10+ years until YouTube decided I should watch some of your videos, and it’s been tremendous having you back in my eye and ear holes. After watching the sub-800k video I immediately subscribed on YT and jumped on here. It’s not much, but it’s the fucking least I could do. It’s heartbreaking hearing the shit you’ve had to wade through to get here, but your fucking here! And that’s not nothing. I really hope the future will bring you better times. Keep it up. Thank god for you.
And no need to hire an editor. Stir that maized monstrosity briskly and get them in front of a computer.
I think that's one of the biggest challenges to running your own small business. When you find people you like to work with, you really want to assume the best about them and give the best you can. But that in turn makes you very vulnerable to abuse.
All the love. I’m a new patrion member but after ur special I wanted to show my long standing support. Your show is a Monday tradition for me and the bf and ur growth as a person over the last few years has been amazing to see and even better to see u become more comfy in your own skin. One thing I would say I would love u to bring back the podium and set as that’s a part of the show I do miss.
I miss the podium, too! It brought authority to the presentation! Still, I love freewheeling Steph, as well. Maybe bring it out for special occasions? 🤔 Oh! And be SURE to have the Jinquisition logo behind them, too! 😉 Chef's kiss! 💋🤌😄
Bugger me tween the teeth, that's some pisstastic malarkey :(
[autism flavored sympathy to follow] one of the worst things abusers and exploiters do to the abused and exploited is take the word "victim" from us. we're now expected to be "survivors" instead of having a "victim mentality" and holy fucking goat viscera does that now drive me to incandescent rage. sure, i'm not dead despite being abused for decades but calling me an abuse survivor kind of glosses over the people who abused me. i was and remain a victim of those abusers. in any abusive or exploitive situation there is an expectation that the abused or exploited people are expected to change their behavior and thinking and the abusive, exploitative people are not. point is, i'm very sorry these things were done to you. you didn't deserve any of it. i wish you every good in the world.
Good Godzilla, Stephanie! I’m sorry to hear about … ALL of this. How incredibly stressful all this must be on you. I remember hearing Justin laughing in some of the older Jimquisitions ( I assume it was Justin) and thinking you two had a good working relationship and likely also friendship. I don’t know why, I usually try not to assume what’s going on behind the scenes… I think it’s because you’re so good at focussing on the message you convey in your videos that the usual bit of pessimism I carry around relaxed after all these years. Well. Justin’s a slimy prick. The last couple of videos have been absolute fire. And I am just so happy that you have your husband and your close friends to help you out. You are awesome and I know you will continue to raise the ceiling of awesomeness.
Damn, what happens behind closed doors... I applaud you for slogging through all that bullshit, and even if things aren't 100% yet it's great to see you proud of your work and excited for the future. Been a fan of yours for years now, and I don't plan on stopping anytime soon!
I've watched your videos since high school and now I'm a college student, and I think you've changed my life for the better because of the content you make. I hope you feel better soon because you deserve it!
Absolutely horrible that happened to you, especially on top of so much you were already hurt by and what you deal with regularly. I'm glad to see you have the support of wonderful people helping you through all of this, and that you're feeling happier on the other side. You're wonderful and I wish you and your loved ones all the best
All the love for you, Steph. <3
I'm so sorry to hear this Steph, you of all people don't deserve this. Should you and your husband ever find yourself in Cork Ireland, pizza and drinks are on me.
Wow that's absolutely horrible to learn that's happened...I am glad for the recovery you've had from the dire financial straits. All the best to you!
Oh Steph. I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say we'll continue throwing our little bit your way each month and well done for keeping your head above water. And I can also offer a socially distanced, personal space respecting hug and a playful tap on the chin which implies you're awesome and you've got this and you will come through all this stronger but doesn't say that explicitly because to do so would be awkward.
Here here! 😎🤘
All my love, sympathy, and positive energy to you, Steph! I'm sorry this happened and I'm also sorry you've had to take on this extra burden, but you've been doing a fantastic job. Also, if you ever did need to take a Monday (or a week or two) off to rest, I don't think any of us still here would hold that against you. You've been working nonstop and have been dealing with a lot, so please do what you need to feel refreshed and continue to kick ass.
So sorry to hear that, Steph. Thank goodness you're out from under it and still have a bunch of real friends and loved ones to support you.
Hey Steph I may not have been a fan for a long time, about 2 or 3 years, but even though you do not know me you have been a dear friend in good times and when times got hard. It got to the point that I can´t wait for it to be Monday or Thursday. I love all of your content. I´m sending you lots of love support and strength for all you hard times that may come. Also if you´re ever in South East Germany I would love to invite you to come get some Ice cream
Much love Steph. Sorry to hear about all you have been through. As far as I'm concerned, your content has only gotten better over time! Thank God for You.
Absolutely love you, Steph ❤️
Whoa, that’s some nasty BS right there. Glad you got out from that to a healthier, happier place.
Steph, you're an inspiration in your honesty and candour about this. I'm so sorry Justin abused your trust. We're all so proud of you!!!
That's a lot of heavy stuff. I can say I liked your vid this week with your editing. It's awful that a behind-the-scenes mainstay was manipulating you like that. That's low.
Take care, sorry this happened to you. Been going through a long rough time, but glad it seems to be working out for you now. I hope the trend stays upward for a while!
Thank the Gods for You, Commander. Cutting ties with someone is never easy, even if they're a right royal bastard. I am very proud of you taking that important first step and Doing The Painful Thing. Yrs. Truly, Sign Droid Dharma
Really sorry to hear this, Steph. I'm wishing you nothing but the best going forward!
This surely took a lot to write, thank you for sharing, Steph.
Love you Steph. Your work has been so important to me going back to the Escapist days. Your hard work and struggle to continue all this time cannot be understated how much it is appreciated. Thank you so, so much for pushing through amongst the horror, you have far more determination than I do with similar issues and you’re more of an inspiration than you know. Wish you all the best going forward!
Thank you for the effort you put into yourself and your life. For all that I love your work, I'm much more interested in seeing you be happy. I know that doesn't come easy. I'm very sorry about what happened, but I'm glad you can move on and keep succeeding.
Sorry to hear this, but glad you were able to get away from the abuse.
Welp.. Been there myself! Took my 6 years to recover financially and both me and my wife is still paying mentally for the abuse I endured.. Upping my Patreon contribution now in the hopes that it'll help you further ❤️
Fucking hell, Steph, I'm so sorry. Sending you love and good vibes.
Much love Steph - if there's anything we can do to help you through this time (aside from throwing funds your way) let us know.
Hugs for all you've gone through. You are awesome.
Much love Steph from a long time fan who has followed you from the destructoid years! The show has constantly improved and been better imo year after year. I've loved the journey and look forward to more! I am so glad things are looking up after such an abuse and you have good friends to help you throughout. Your content and happiness is important to me so thanks for being there every Monday! P.S. I'm just so hungry for Cornflakes...
I am also grateful towards your support network, and the way you're regarding your recent work is inspiring. I wish you peace of mind and great success.
Oof, sorry you had to go through that. But a genuine thank you for being able to speak up. Over the years, you & others in the Steph-o-sphere have spoke about things that I was brought up to think was "shameful"-- victimhood, gender stuff, accessibility, labor relations, a whole host of things. I've learned so much-- about understanding what others are going through and empathy for them-- to stuff I've learned about myself. It's expanded my worldview so much, and hopefully allowed me to pass on the positive impact it's had on me to others. I hope this doesn't sound like "thank you for suffering for my benefit" or "silver linings lol"-- but more that as these topics are being talked about to remove stigma, foster solidarity, and normalize standing up to abuse-- all those goals are being met, and your wonderful voice is heard and making real, good change in the world.
I'm sorry to hear about your misfortunes. I'm glad you're at least doing okay now, though it sounds like it was a major ordeal.
That's awful to read and sorry to hear you went through that Steph. Will there be a third Rejoice event?
Sorry to hear you've been dealing with those hardships, Steph. Hope things go better for you now. We all love you and wish the best for you.
Very thrilled to be a tiny part of the solution m8, hope things only get better for you all from here.
I'm sorry to hear that people would treat you so unkindly, but I'm thrilled that you have such a loving support system backing you up. I did notice a difference in the editing recently, it's more funny! Your work has always been wonderful and I'm so glad you're feeling motivated to keep it up. Can't wait to see what comes next!
I'm so sorry to hear you've had to endure so much, especially lately. However, I'm sure you'll pull through this as you've pulled through everything else on your journey to where you are now. I'm also happy to hear you have such a wonderful husband and such great friends who support you. Despite the hardships, despite the shittiness and everything else - you're wonderful and precious and you can be proud of who you are. Don't forget that. <3 Though there isn't much we as your community can do, know that we're with you as well and stick by you. All the best to you going forward. ... And thank God for you, dear Steph. <3
I'm really sorry to hear this has happened to you, you do not deserve it at all. Thank you for everything you do, you are a inspiration to me, I accepted that Im trans a year ago and have been on HRT for a little over two months and have not been this happy in a very long time. The work you do, especially the podcasts has been a really big help to me, and I look forward to future stuff 🙂 hope to catch one of your wrestling shows soon!
9th April, Steph? I can't see an 8th April on Sovereigns website. And thank you for sharing. Sorry you had to go through any of it. Onward!
What a shit. Glad you escaped him. I was thinking of suggesting asking Ashens & Barry Lewis's editor, Linton Davis, if he had any time until you mentioned having people already in mind. But best of luck even if you continue doing it yourself, you've got an editor's eye speaking as someone that's done it myself a bit.
People who are toxic like that thrive best in the environments they seek out- places where they earn trust solely to abuse it. Even when they're gone, the poison doesn't go away, and you feel it for a long while after. After I got out of my own messy relationship, the net result was I'd had to burn bridges with a lot of people, and set back to rebuilding bridges that had been damaged by words another had said. It took years of work, and some parts either will never be fixed, and may never be talked about. But I've done some of my best work when I realized that i was doing it to advance myself, my well being, and my happiness rather than because it was what was expected. I hope whatever you chose is best for you going forward, and that the energy you bring to others, reflects back on you with warmth. The episode about JK, and more recently the one about the AI craze has meant the world to a close friend of mine (an artist) who has struggled against the craze as clients try and abuse her into lowering her prices below what she can afford on grounds of 'well, an AI is like, 10$ a month!". This is after she found images she's created obviously used as a base for one of the AI's to transform. I will never understand what makes the mask of the internet turn people into monsters, as they try to hide away from repercussions. I will never understand how a global reach has made people all the more likely to isolate and be hurtful rather than the community the internet was dreamed to be, but I support what you do the only way I know how- by putting in what I can, small as it is, to ensure as I am able that something I know has every right to exist and shine does.
I'm sorry you had to deal with that Steph. I'm glad you have support from others to get away from a toxic relationship.
Remember the old truism: "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on you again -- no victim blaming here because seriously, fuck that noise." (I think that's how it goes, right?) Abuse is always the fault of the abuser, never the fault of the abused. The capactiy to trust is an act of courage, not an act of foolishness.
some loser who probably doesn't even watch the Jimquisition commented something along the lines of "I used to like this show but now it just makes me uncomfortable, and not because of the trans thing..." and I....the show is less uncomfortable than it's ever been! It's mostly just videogames and wrestling now, when it used to be Steph having sex with piles of pogs and "JACKING IT! JACKING IT!" Anyway, thank God for you, and I'm gald you're climbing out of such difficult times.
Pounding it, WarioTush. Come on! ;)
Thank you for sharing that, I'm sorry you've had such a tough time recently. Things can only get better now that you've moved on from that situation and I have every faith in you that you are going to thrive. Keep being yourself, it's a beautiful thing to see
It is heartbreaking to hear that you got taken advantage of and in such a cruel way. As someone who hates confrontations and allowed herself to be in way too many abusive relationships because she was afraid to walk away, I am SO proud of you for protecting yourself, listening to your friends and getting such a toxic presence from your life. You are strong and you are beautiful and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
I'm so sorry you've had to go through all of that, and your strength and talent shines through it all. You're truly an inspirational figure to me, Steph. I'dve never have gotten into wrestling without you, and I love it so much (even if I am constantly bruised and done the MCL in my right knee in lol) Truly, thank you so much <3
Sorry to hear all the bad shit that happened to you💔 Hope future has some major nice things for you!
Thank you for sharing what's happened to you Steph. 1) it's so difficult and scary to be vulnerable like that. 2) That situation, frankly, fucking sucks. Your abusers are awful people and I'm glad you're culling them. I'm also happy to hear that you have such a strong support network. That is truly a wonderful thing. It's so exciting to think of what fantastic things you're going to do now that this abuser is gone. (I'm really excited for a certain corn-based creature's return). Thank God for you Steph.
Awww dear sweet Steph, I am so so sorry to hear this :( there are so many words that can be said, but ultimately That Blows!! feels the most succinct. That just really sucks, and I feel for you that you've had to deal with this for so long! I'm glad things are getting better, and you're finding ways through this! Because The Gays CAN Do Whatever They Want! Including move onwards and upwards! Sending much love, you mean a lot to us!! A lot to me <3 thank you for being such a lighthouse in so many ways!
Sorry you've had to go through all of that, that's awful. You're doing incredible work and you should absolutely be proud of it. Thanks for everything you do!