About My Problems and the Only Solution I Can See
Hi!
So, I disappeared again for almost two months, huh? Maybe one day I’ll finally get rid of this terrible habit of putting off important posts.
But even though I haven’t been writing anything here, I’ve still been working this whole time. At that same awful pace that has become typical for me over the past few years. Yes, years. For two years now, I’ve been living in very unpleasant conditions that have pretty much destroyed any real possibility of making a game properly.
So yes, this is a post where I complain about life. I actually wanted to write it right after the last update, but I needed some time to think and sort out my thoughts. And today I want to tell you what conclusions I’ve come to.
This is going to be a long post. I hope you won’t get bored.
And I want to start with… my schedule. Yes, that sounds strange, but in the context of what I want to explain, I need to share the daily routine I’ve been living with for the past two years.
There’s actually nothing unusual about my schedule. I wake up at 7:15, leave for work at 8:05, and work from 9:00 to 18:00. Then I spend an hour and a half getting home, because I walk. My doctor prescribed me at least one hour of walking a day. So, basically, I get home at 19:30, have dinner, and I’m free at around 20:00.
And there’s nothing special about this schedule. Most people live more or less like this. The problem is that, in the three hours I have left, I somehow have to make updates for the game. Weekends are a little easier, but even then the amount of time is laughably small. And I also have other things to deal with that aren’t related to game development.
That’s why I release updates so rarely: I simply don’t have the time. And… it’s fucked up. Honestly, I feel terrible. I’m basically taking money from you to make a game, while giving very little in return. I think about it every day, and every day it weighs on me. It’s genuinely very hard for me to take your money and give nothing back.
And to be honest, I also have serious problems with motivation. No matter how much I try to push through it, the TIF ban on Steam hit me too hard. It’s very difficult to force yourself to work when you understand that, in the end, you’ll get nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Let’s be honest: TIF is a completely dead project, and the only reason I’m still dragging it forward is a sense of duty. For me personally, this story has been over for a long time. I’ve gone through it in my head a thousand times already. And because of that, I have almost no motivation left to do anything with it. That’s why I need a break from TIF.
Yes, you understood correctly: I want to take a break from TIF. But not from game development. Quite the opposite!
Over the past few months, I’ve been thinking a lot about how I should move forward with my life. And I came to the conclusion that I have to choose: either I fully commit myself to game development, or I quit it completely. And I realized that I like making games more. I have a lot of ideas I want to bring to life, and not only in the adult genre. But in order to do that, I need to quit my job.
That’s why I told you about my schedule above. So you can see that it’s impossible to work full-time and make a game at the same time. At least, I definitely can’t do it.
So this is the plan I’ve come to: I freeze TIF development for a year, release a small game on Steam during that time, and then, with the money I earn from it - if there is any - I finish TIF.
This way, I’ll be able to earn some money, gain experience, and take a break from TIF. I really do need to rest from this story for a while.
“I’m tired, boss.”
And yes, I could abruptly finish the game in one chapter. Just cut off all the storylines, like many developers do when they get tired of their games. But I don’t want to do that. I’ve put too much effort into this story to ruin it that way. Even though giving it a proper ending won’t bring me anything.
And I think now is a good moment to take a pause. In the last update, I finally made the long-awaited scene with Alice. Many people got what they had been waiting for.
The funniest thing is that, while I’m writing this, images for Chapter 13 of TIF are rendering. Because as soon as I relaxed and stopped putting moral pressure on myself, I immediately felt the desire to work on the game again. So maybe I’ll still continue working on TIF as well, but I still want to put my main focus on the new game.
I’m sure many people who read this post will be unhappy. After all, you came here for TIF, and you probably won’t like the fact that I want to freeze the game. That’s okay. If you were supporting me only because of TIF and don’t want to wait or look at the new game, it’s better to unsubscribe. That way, all of us will feel calmer.
The only thing I want to ask of you is to approach my new game with an open mind. Please give it a chance.
I’ll talk about the new game itself in a separate post. Paid subscribers will get early access to it, because I want us to make many of the decisions together.
Speaking of that! The skeleton of the game is already ready. I can already post a super short fragment so you can see what the game will look like. Would you be interested in that? If yes, write in the comments.
And in general, please write what you think about my decision. On a scale from 1 to 10, how much of an asshole do you think I am?
And I’m sorry things turned out this way. But this is what I need right now. I hope you can accept it.
О моих проблемах и единственном решение, которое я вижу.
Привет!
Опять я пропал почти на два месяца, да? Когда-нибудь я избавлюсь от этой дурной привычки откладывать написание важных постов.
Но несмотря на то, что я ничего не писал, всё это время я продолжал работу. Делал это, конечно, с той ужасной скоростью, которая присуща мне последние годы. Да, именно годы. Я уже два года живу в очень неприятных условиях, которые практически уничтожают любую возможность делать игру.
В общем, да, это пост с моим нытьём о жизни. Я ещё после последнего обновления хотел его написать, но взял время на подумать и разобраться с мыслями. И сегодня я хочу рассказать, к каким выводам пришёл. Пост будет большим. Надеюсь, вы не заскучаете.
И начать я хочу… со своего расписания. Да, это звучит странно, но в контексте вещей, которые я хочу до вас донести, мне нужно поделиться распорядком дня, по которому я жил последние два года.
На самом деле, в моём расписании нет ничего необычного. Я встаю в 7:15, выхожу на работу в 8:05, с 9:00 до 18:00 работаю. Потом полтора часа трачу на то, чтобы вернуться домой, потому что иду пешком. Врач прописал мне минимум час ходьбы в день. В общем, в 19:30 я прихожу домой, ужинаю и где-то с 20:00 свободен.
И в этом расписании нет ничего такого. Большинство людей примерно так и живут. Проблема в том, что за оставшиеся три часа я как-то должен делать обновления для игры. В выходные дела полегче, но этого времени всё равно до смешного мало. Плюс у меня есть и другие дела, не связанные с разработкой игры.
Именно поэтому я так редко выпускаю обновления - у меня просто нет времени. И… это пиздец. Честно говоря, я чувствую себя просто ужасно. Я, по сути, беру у вас деньги за производство игры и мало что даю взамен. Я каждый день об этом думаю, и каждый день это давит на меня морально. Мне правда очень тяжело брать у вас деньги и ничего не давать взамен.
Да и с мотивацией у меня, честно говоря, большие проблемы. Как бы я ни пытался это перебороть, бан TIF в Steam слишком сильно по мне ударил. Очень сложно заставить себя работать, когда ты понимаешь, что в конце не получишь ничего. Вообще ничего.
Давайте честно: TIF - это абсолютно мёртвый проект, который я тяну только из-за чувства долга. Для меня самого эта история уже давно закончена. Я уже тысячу раз проходил её в своей голове. И поэтому у меня почти не осталось мотивации что-либо делать. Поэтому мне нужно отдохнуть от TIF.
Да, вы всё правильно поняли: я хочу взять перерыв от TIF. Но не от разработки игр. Совсем наоборот!
Последние несколько месяцев я много думал о том, как мне жить дальше. И пришёл к выводу, что мне нужно выбирать: либо я полностью отдаю себя разработке игр, либо бросаю это дело. И я понял, что делать игры мне нравится больше. У меня куча идей, которые я хочу реализовать, и не только в адалт-сфере. Но для этого мне нужно уволиться.
Поэтому я и рассказал вам о своём расписании выше. Чтобы вы увидели, что невозможно работать полный день и параллельно делать игру. Я так точно не могу.
Поэтому я пришёл к такому плану: замораживаю разработку TIF на год, за это время выпускаю небольшую игру в Steam, а на заработанные деньги, если они будут, уже заканчиваю TIF.
Таким образом, я смогу заработать, получить опыт и отдохнуть от TIF. Мне правда нужно немного отдохнуть от этой истории. «Я устал, босс».
И да, я могу резко закончить игру за одну главу. Просто обрезать все сюжеты, как делают многие разработчики, когда игра им надоедает. Но я не хочу так делать. Я потратил слишком много сил на эту историю, чтобы так её портить. Несмотря на то, что её нормальное окончание ничего мне не принесёт.
И я думаю, сейчас хороший момент, чтобы взять паузу. В последнем обновлении я наконец-то сделал долгожданную сцену с Алисой. Многие получили то, чего давно хотели.
Самое забавное, что пока я это пишу, у меня рендерятся изображения для 13-й главы TIF. Потому что как только я расслабился и перестал морально на себя давить, у меня сразу появилось желание работать над игрой. Так что, возможно, я продолжу работу и над TIF, но всё же основное внимание хочу уделить новой игре.
Я уверен, многие, которые прочтут этот пост, будут недовольны. Ведь вы сюда пришли ради TIF, и вряд ли вам понравится то, что я хочу заморозить игру. Это нормально. Если вы поддерживали меня только ради TIF и не хотите ждать или смотреть на новую игру, то лучше отпишитесь. Так нам всем будет спокойнее. Всё, о чём я хочу вас попросить, - отнестись к моей новой игре непредвзято. Пожалуйста, дайте ей шанс.
Про саму новую игру я расскажу уже в отдельном посте. Платные подписчики будет иметь к ней доступ заранее, потому что я хочу, чтобы мы вместе приняли многие решения.
Кстати, об этом! Скелет игры уже готов. Я уже сейчас могу выложить суперкороткий фрагмент, чтобы вы могли посмотреть, как игра будет выглядеть. Вам это интересно? Если да, напишите в комментариях.
Ну и вообще, напишите, что думаете о моём решении. Насколько по шкале от 1 до 10 я, по-вашему, урод?
И извините, что так получилось. Но это то, что мне сейчас нужно. Надеюсь, вы это примете.
Comments (32)
i just got done playing the new update, its maybe my 4th playthrough, TIF has genuinely been a game which quite literally changed my life, over the years ive played it so many times but this year it was just different, something about the protag completely changed within me, idek how, but i started working on myself and have done a lot of good things in the past months, i have a section in my journal call what do i want to do this month, i consistently write in live life like TIF, so yeah, sad to hear its gon take a while but im glad to know youre okay, health comes in first, and im glad ure gonna finish the game, its my favourite
Wow! It’s amazing and incredibly heartwarming that my story has had such a big impact on you. Feedback like this makes all the hardships worth it and gives me the motivation to finish the story. And I’ll definitely do that. Thank you for your kind words and for your strength of spirit!
Привет. Ты создал очень интересный мир, и провел хорошую работу над персонажами. Я в восторге от игры и сюжета. Очень хотелось бы увидеть конец этой истории. Надеюсь ты вернешься к игре и закончишь её, когда будешь готов)
TIF is one of the first AVNs I've ever played and I really wanted to see the game finished, but I also understand the problems you're facing. You're not an asshole for doing this, I'm just sad knowing I will have to wait a long time.
Well Shit! As far as the Asshole scale you are probably a 10, but if I were on the scale, I would be a 20 so I get it! Some times the best choice for the greater good makes you an asshole but it has to be made! So step back, decompress and forget about TIF for a while! I'm sure there are a lot of people that want to see TIF finished in good form, "my self included" so do what you gotta do for YOU to make that happen, just don't abandon TIF and it's all good! Take care!
While I am in deed a fan of TIF and know nothing yet about your new game I understand how hard a ban can hit any developer. Particularly AVN developers. Bans are a bain in both developer's and player's lives and there is litterally nothing any of us can do about it since it is a team effort by control freaks who think they have the right to censor what everyone else sees and enjoys. They, like many "puritans", do not understand the simple phrase. If you don't like it. DO NOT LOOK AT IT! Then there is real life and real world events that trip up and interfere with all of our lives. Things that none of us can avoid or control. We all have to do what we have to do to get anywhere. One or more smaller, not so erotic maybe, games may help get you on your feet and past the ban slap down. Do what you have to do. As long as TIF is not being abandoned I/We support you to keep the best games you produce alive and viable. Stand proud of your abilities to develop such wild and creative products. Do not let the censors and puritans get you down. Just keep us up on how things are going and what you finally do decide to do about holdling/freezing TIF and when you can get back on that bronco and ride her again.. That may not translate well for many fans, maybe not even for you. But it means I support you for what you need to do. Quiting a job that provides needed income to support yourself and any family you may have is a heavy choice to do. Do not do it if you cannot afford it. Particularly if you are letting fans unsubscribe and stop paying you. I wish you the best and look forward to reading that production for TIF has been restored as soon as possible. Good luck and keep in touch! From a fan in the USA.
Pix... you put yourself down too much brother. You are a super great dev. Personally I am looking forward to your new game. TIF is not going away, just breathing and resting. Get some money going and then see how things are for the future.
You do what you need to do to be healthy and keep the creative energies flowing. If you feel you need to make money from game development and you can handle the financial loss in the short term, go for it. I wish you the very best of luck in your endeavor. Walking away from an income is a hard choice, but one you can make work long term if you can weather the short term storm of income loss.
Only someone who cares writes such a long and honest post, so zero a-hole in my book Take care of yourself and cheers
Its not that no one wants to try your new game. I think many would like to see the new game you would make after finishing (not anymore) TIF because people wanna see what new game you'd make and so forth. What people don't like when a dev says the game is on hold to work on another game, to us that means like the dev is abandoning to work on another game and we know you're not abandoning it, but not matter how you say it or explain what your doing moving forward, you are abandoning the game to work on another game and then finish it. But look the point is, as much as people will be disappointed TIF is gonna be on hold, people will want to play the new game your gonna be making, as much as people complain they will end up playing the game and subbing to you either way, so its still a win-win situation and extra win IF you finish TIF in the near future
Your health and mental well-being ALWAYS comes first. Do what you need to, in order to stay fit and keep your head straight. Asshole level 0, by the way. :)
Yes and zero.
t's a well-thought-out decision. Today, I've come across the third novel where the authors complain about their lack of time and workload. A significant number of excellent games have been abandoned. Therefore, a creative pause is preferable to game oblivion, and honesty is better than cowardly silence. I believe you can achieve success. _______________________________________________________________________ Абсолютно взвешенное решение. Сегодня мне попадается уже третья новелла, где авторы жалуются на нехватку времени и загруженность делами. Огромное количество прекрасных игр имеют статус "заброшено". Поэтому творческая пауза куда лучше игрового небытия, а честность лучше трусливого молчания. У вас все получится, я уверен.
Спасибо за слова поддержки!
Asshole on a scale of 1-10? 0. Assholes don’t care, you do. I hope you finish the story—it’s fresh and unique and completely different to anything I’ve ever seen—but it’s *yours* to complete and it’s not worth your life. Take the risk, take a break, live. I hope that allows you to return to TIF with renewed energy and passion. If it doesn’t then we will only have a lost the ending to a story. But you will have regained yourself and that’s a much better story. That’s a life.
Thanks for understanding! But I'm going to come back anyway.
GOOD THURSDAY AFTERNOON 🌥, PIXEL AND EVERYONE!!! All good, Pixel. My Devs do their things all the time. I don't question or worry about what they do. They have lives too. Life goes on 😅. Bring on the long post... I love reading what my Devs always have to write 😛. All good... you have to worry about yourself first. Don't feel bad about it. Understandable... every Dev is always trying to hit on Steam. Even though I REALLY dislike Steam for all the loops/stress they put my Devs through. I will acknowledge that it's important for my Devs. Hitting on Steam can be financial stability 🤑💰 for them and their games going forward (unless you're ONE OF THE BIGS). Whatever you do... I'll still be here to support. Doesn't matter if it's TIF or a new game. I'm here for you. And I don't mind waiting… It's just a normal routine in the life of an AVN supporter at this point. "We support... we wait... we play... repeat 😂." And it also helps when you're supporting MANY devs; you'll never run out of content 😅. And who knows? Maybe a break from TIF is needed? It will attract new supporters, and in turn they can discover TIF, and maybe the time away will re-energise 🔋/reignite 🔥 that love ❤️ and passion 💪🏻 for TIF again for you 😁. As always, thanks for the Update, Pixel!!! Keep on keeping on 😉!!! ALWAYS EXCITED AND EAGERLY WAITING FOR YOUR GAME AND READING YOUR POSTS 🙌🏻🔥!!! Love and appreciate everything! You ❤️, your ladies 😍, your posts 🥰, your wallpapers/renders 😘, and your game ❤️! Always make my days better 🌈! Thank you, everyone, always, for being in my life and being a part of my routine 😉! Stay safe, stay blessed, and stay in PERFECT health, beautiful people! And don't forget to stay hydrated! And you're never alone ❤️🫶🏻🫰🏻!!! OUR AVNS AND OUR DEVS CONNECTS US ALL 🤗!!! Have an amazing and beautiful week! I'll catch you all—ON THE NEXT ONE ✌🏻😁!!!
A HUGE THANK YOU FOR ALWAYS BEING THERE FOR ME! And for always supporting me with your words and actions. Without your comments, I might have given up a long time ago!
I hate to hear all the shit that you're having to deal with. I'm glad that you're still planning on working on the game, it has been really easy for me to get lost into. I grew up in children services, foster homes, and so on. I didn't have magic powers, or anything, but damn that would have been so fucking cool. There were always those girls that seem to be drawn to the bad boy's club, lol. It's just really nice to be able to escape off into your very own make-believe world. I love the story, and I think you've done awesome on the overall quality of the entire platform. I truly hope to see the final episode, and I truly hope that you can find a break in there for yourself also.
Thank you so much for your kind words! I don't understand why everyone assumed I was quitting the game when I said I was putting it on hold. And it's not even certain that I'm putting it on hold. We'll see what happens next. Thanks again for your kind words!
So, literally at the climax of the story getting really good, right before the proverbial shit slams the fan into dust and all hell breaks loose, you're just done. Wow. I can understand life getting in the way. I can even agree that sometimes a break is needed for a reset. But I just found this. I fell completely in love with it enough to support it on a monthly basis, which I don't do that often. The writing and artwork are simply amazing. It's too bad that all this work will now be for nothing. I agree with RicardoS. If you give it up now, the likelihood of you returning to it, or it being any good if you do is very small. If you lost the heart for the project, maybe it would be good to enlist help with it. I'm sure there are plenty of people who would love to step in and keep it going. I hope you find yourself, and wish you good luck on your new project. But I am disappointed TIF won't continue.
что и следовало ожидать жаль
I think you're 0 asshole. Your number 1 consideration should be you, and you're finally making that decision. That should lift a weight. Take a break. Focus on the fun parts. And don't forget how Steam works ;)
Thanks for your understanding! I'll do my best to make the new game as good as possible, and I'll get back to TIF as soon as I can.
I will never understand how Steam is so important when it's a one time payment from maybe 1000 people vs 100 people paying recurring fees through Patreon and the likes. Not sure how you can get away with selling sexually explicit games on steam in other markets given many countries are currently implementing age restrictions for social media - Germany doesn't do that, but we can't buy those kinds of Games on steam due to lack of age gating in Steam.
When we talk about Steam, we're not talking about thousands of people, but tens of thousands Plus Steam is a way to attract a new audience—not just to a new game, but to an old one, too.
I feel sad,i hope you can find the balance/work time and persinal life time for finish such good history.
Maybe you don't have to render such a high quality image, many play on phone anyway or try to Find a way to speed up the game development process while maintaining appropriate quality—ultra-high-quality rendering isn't necessary.. Anyway good luck been TIF fans game since day one
It's not about the rendering time itself. That hasn't been an issue for a long time. The problem is that the scenes themselves take a long time to create.
RIP... Just double-check this time, nothing in the new game will conflict with Steam :( Good luck!
Hmmm i understand what you are going through, but at the other side this doesnt sound good…because if you lack motivation for your main game the chances are very high that it will never completed. And for your little game in between…i think people want to see TIF finished. But thats only my opinion, maybe i am wrong. So good luck with whatever you decide.
What can we say. Good luck.