first update of 2026 :)

that said, man, i'm glad to have it. all the talk about "content" (ie: product), algorithms, having to take those things into consideration to put food on the table and a roof over one's head, having to leave "passion projects" (so literally just passion, intention, drive, authentic desire) behind in favour of Content Content Content just makes me so sad. It's a weird landscape to try and hike over, this stage of attention economy end- (fingers crossed) state capitalism. where people are functionally subsistence farming in the click mines, burning their youth and energy to make the most accessible Product out of their creativity and emotionality, their morals, perspectives, learned lessons, etc. Stories. Art. Those things kinda die, at least a little bit, when you do this thing for a living. But we can't fall into the trap of thinking of creativity, of thinking of love and compassion and empathy and the desire to help and to teach, as something that is exhaustible. Nor should we discount the beauty of well-honed, experienced Craft. i think our society has been organized such that it equates, often, craft /with/ art and vice versa such that when you think of art without craft we think of it as raw or childish. lesser. invalid. powerless. and simultaneously to call something a craft without art feels like you're diminishing talent and skill and often incredible beauty to the point of invalidating or discounting /it/ when that's not fair either. well *crafted* things are incredibly valuable, are also imperative for teaching and helping, protecting and inoculating, just as much as a piece of harmonic "Art" can be. A person can be both skilled crafter and potent artist. wise teacher in either case. most of us manage to wrangle capacity in both in unequal measure, it's about finding the balance between the two that works best for the human - the one trying to externalize their internal self through expression of craft and art both - to communicate the thought or feeling, the message, that they want to communicate to the audience they have in mind. personally? the only audience i think i can rely on is myself, so I make things For Me. If they resonate with someone else? that's nice, but I /can't/ let that desire for validation take over because that way lies madness. that way breeds loneliness, self-exile, worthlessness, dark parasociality, etc. trying your best and not being able to trust it until senpai notices you is a one way ticket to hating yourself. and if the thing you're trying to get noticed is just the messages you're trying to vibrate into existence, if you make those things extensions of yourself which is what i think art and intention is supposed to be for, it just feels like the universe is leaving your human soul on Read and that fucking hurts. idk man i guess i just had some thoughts inside me that i felt like getting out but now i gotta go do some human stuff (poop) so i'll let the universe send me that very humble message to get the fuck out of these comments and go be alive. thanks elliot