Sappy

This is the first one I read and I got the references ... I read the "Alternate" one after and also found it good. It's hard to pick which is best, as both work so well . . . but maybe the "references" does sound more lighter in tone (along with Agent Legbreaker's use of "devastating" doesn't seem so mean or harsh, either).

IRS...or FREAKING TERMINATOR, sucking joy on his way (not even in a good way) I swear....