Tigger Warning - Life update
Please don't not read if you are sensitive.
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Today is the day I tried ending my life 3 years ago and I am still thinking why am I here? I don't have any friends, I am broke and only leave the house for work and appointments. I tried ending my life because I am lonely and also wanted to escape my parents. They make me not want to be here anymore. While I am grateful for their help during my injury, they are now trying to control my life. And I have to do what they say because they are the kind of parents who will kick you out.
And it's hard to feel motivated in a world I feel like I do not belong or normal. I just feel I am too broken to be loved and it's just easier to disappear. I wanted to talk about this months ago, but it's my problem. Although I have a therapist and I am on medication these things cannot work if I am in an environment that made me suicidal in the first place. I will still make custom content. I guess I wanted to let you all know what I am going through. Thanks for reading.
Comments (53)
I completely understand this feeling, especially at an age where the adult is in legal control. I'm so sorry and comepletely hoping that you will find joy and happiness in your life with whatever outlet you enjoy. Please take this as a message that you can continue on and should for the long term benefit of finding that future joy from someone who has also attempted. I may not personally know you, but everytime I'm on your page, your creations fill me with joy and bring me a smile and so if that's enough to keep coming back for that little tibit of happiness, please know you have value to even strangers. You are worthy of a good life and of every good thing. There is light at the end of the tunnel and again, we may be strangers, but your life has value and worthiness to me.
Hi...maybe it's a little late, but believe me, there are people going through the same thing as you, and honestly, I'm going through something similar too. I'd like to end it all, but there are things worth protecting, and that's my sole purpose in life. I hope you also find something you must protect with all your heart and fight for. Try to keep going, girl, you can do it :3
You are fine I'm late too. I am sorry you are going through something similar. I will try to keep going and I hope you do too ♡
Hello Bunnie! I'm only a free member because I don't have the money for a proper membershup >.<, but just because i don't have the money, doesn't mean I'm not here for you! If you ever need to talk, or if you ever need motivation, I'm always here! I've strugggled with the same thing, and having someone to talk to, even if its a stranger, helps. Im so proud that you had the guts to open up to all your supporters, it takes alot of effort. Best of luck, cakie.
I'm sorry, I don’t want you to think that I believe only paid members care. And thank you for the offer and kind words I appreciate it dearly <3
hi bunnie! i won’t lie, it’s hard for me to explain how important it is that you’re still here but ill try lol. first off, im proud of you for still trying. still being here. still trying so hard just to live and thrive, thats amazing. and as so many other people have said, you aren’t alone and there’s so many things to live for outside of just friendships. (And if you have no friends, gurl/guy I’ll be your friend. We’re all apart of this community not just for cc but for who u are and ur talents). i may not relate completely to your parents controlling natures and feeling stifled but i can def relate to not being enough and feeling as if you might be better off gone. im sorry ur going through this but i know that pain and suffering in your heart won’t last forever. you will find purpose, things to live for and freedom. idk when but i know you will and even hearing a bird chirp or the beauty in tiny minuscule moments can make all the difference imo. and i just really pray God finds His way into your heart and give you that freedom you desire and semblances of joy in your life again. you are SO important and im glad you’re still here. i also pray that you can one day find your way out of your situation with your parents and improve in your mental health. hopefully, this helped even a little bit and let’s u know that you are loved! (By me and everyone else here). God bless you Bunnie <3 :)
Thank you so much! I am so sorry to hear that you relate to what I am going through right now; it is a horrible feeling. I hope one day life will get better, even though it's hard to imagine. Hopefully one day my life will change because I want to experience what it feels like to want to live.
Baby, you are so important, you are so loved and you matter 💖 God has his hands on you and he's not letting you go 🙏🏼 you will be in my prayers. Sending love hugs and prayers to you from the other side of the world, just call me Auntie Nikki 💖
Thank you, Auntie Nikki!
Hello, english is not my first language and my grammar is not the best so I apologize in advance. I am quite late but I still wanted to make this comment. I know that we all go through different in life but once I had been in a similar experience. I know what's it like to have parents like that and the feelings that you went through. It is very hard. I know that this might not help a lot but no matter what, there will be somebody rooting for you. Whether you want to believe it or not. You are loved. I hope this message helped, even if it's just a small amount. I really do hope that you get better and well and thank you. Thank you for being brave to share this experience with us. We support you and we hope you are fine now.
I’m sorry you had to go through (or are still going through) having controlling parents. It is a challenge. I want to thank you for the support! It helps keep me going!
the world needs you love, whether you believe it or not. you are loved and you have so many supporters<3 i know exactly how you feel, it does get better.
I hope it gets better. Thank you!
i tried to kill myself at least twice, one with overdosing on medication and one with slicing my wrist when i was younger. after some years i learned to mentally hone myself but not after going thru relationship issues, friendships ruined by me, and self searching for who i am. I recently found out that i have a heart condition that can instantly kill me. unlike a heart attack or stroke, i wont have time to be helped, the time IF i was to be revived is 2 -7 minutes. With this news i was devastated, however its given me a new outlook on life. this is my personal experience but im trying to move forward, im scared i`ll drop dead while driving and i`ll kill innocent people without meaning to. with what you say about feeling like you are broken, i would like to say this," If you feel broken, i`ll grab the glue, and duct tape". i do hope you feel better and have things at a manageable level vs 100% better, that sounds horrible but im looking at a realistic point of view. I am new to your content but i truly hope you stay safe and find your way in life. not just as a content creator but as a human being with feelings.
Thank you! I’m sorry you’re dealing with this and I hope you are doing well. That sounds very scary and challenging.
I know exactly what that feels like. i'm sorry that someone as precious as you are going through such hard things in life but please don't be scared or too nervous to talk to your community(if you want to) there's alot of us who wouldn't mind being the listening ear and the shoulder for you to lean on. any and everyone deserves a place to vent! i hope you become stable enough for you to move and finally be at peace bunnie<3 thank you for being open with us despite us being strangers
Thank you! That means a lot to me! I am sorry you know what it feels like.
even if now u think the only way is death, its not, its hard to believe but things always get better, dont stay alone, and if u need i can be your friend
Thank you <3
I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. You're not alone and I want you to know that. You're in a temporary situation that you will make permanent if you end your life. I had a friend that ended his life for his temporary situation and we're all mad at him for that because he could've done something that could've changed his life yet he didn't. Just remember that. My heart goes out to you and just know if one medication for depression doesn't work. There is another. You have to talk to your therapist about it. It's the only way you can get help. At one time or another everyone has felt like you do (I even felt that way at one time) but I got help got on the right medication's and now I'm not feeling as depressed as I once did. It may be hard at the time that you're feeling now, but it won't be hard forever. I hope this helps you and my love and prayers are with you. I know you can do it and not end your life but get help instead. xoxo 💙
Thank you the love and prayers! And I am sorry that you lost your friend.
Sorry, I had to delete my comment because it sent before I could finish writing it. Hey Bunnie, I know what it feels like to be aimless and powerless and I did for a good amount of years. I agree with Nya, I don't think we truly have a purpose, instead we get to make our own and choose what we want to do. In the meantime, you've been doing an amazing job already holding down a job and still managing to create so many things for us here. I don't usually comment on updates, but whenever I see a notification pop up, it feels like unwrapping a gift. You give others something to look forward to with your updates when life is hard and even if you don't make content anymore at some point in the future, know that you've already contributed so much to the net happiness in the world and no one can take that achievement away from you. If you want to make friends but don't have the bandwidth to go outside right now, I recommend finding a book or show/series that you enjoy and joining a fandom. It's silly but checking twitter and seeing fanart pop up and seeing people write fanfiction on my feed in real time while everyone discusses it and links to more AO3 fanfiction that they're recommending feels like being part of a club that I can take with me wherever I am. I also joined a discord server about movies where I get to join watch parties with random people and I've been introduced to so many films and art that I'd never heard of before. There's so many connections and experiences out there waiting for you and I hope you'll explore them. Just be ready to block toxic people and protect your peace since the point is to enjoy yourself. In the meantime, we're here to cheer you on 💜
I have joined a few discord servers, I am still looking for the right ones. Thank you for the advice and saying I am doing a good job. I am grateful for your encouragement.
Bunnie please do not ever feel discouraged.. I tried to attempt many times as well (since a decade). Living with a parent who make bad decisions, no outside life.. I also know how it feels to wonder why I’m here. But we sometimes we don’t need a reason, we can make purposes and random goals. I don’t wanna give advice on how to move out cause even I’m not in the best position myself😅 but you have people who love you even if we barely know you, we support you and love your content. We don’t need to be “Normal,” that’s what society created to push us in a too small box. Create your own. We are happy you’re here, we can be your friends, life can change to something way better before the end of the year. And we all want you to see that change🤍 (and even if it doesn’t, keep doing little things that’ll grow bigger in the future)
Its crazy we share similar experiences, I hope your situation improves soon. Thank you so much for your encouraging message and support! <3
亲爱的,请原谅我用中文和你对话,因为我认为非母语无法表达我想对你说的话。你是一个非常好的创作者,也是我最爱的创作者之一,你总是创作出能让人变得开心的作品,它们都非常的可爱并且治愈人心。你并不是孤身一人,你还有非常多喜欢你订阅你的支持者,我们一直在默默地关注你支持你,所以请勇敢的坚持下去,你是非常棒的人,我爱你,祝你生活愉快~~
你好!我使用的是谷歌翻译,希望你能看懂。真的非常感谢你的支持,我会努力坚持下去的!♡
hi! i’m not usually the type to make comments, but i want to thank you for sharing a piece of your story. happy 3 years and im so glad you’re still here. no one knows about it, but i as well turned to suicide to escape from the world i lived in about 4 years ago. i thought it’d be easier to just leave, and not feel that constant ache. and a few months ago, i contemplated on just ending things just so i didn’t feel like a failure, or have to fight through hardships to get what i wanted in life. i honestly get it, and coming to that conclusion is never easy. and to be frank, it’ll never get easy. we just have to turn to those little things that’ll help. and day by day, we tend to forgot why you stayed in that pit for so long. i promise you there’s so much more in store for you. do things you love, go out and see things that’ll make you smile. keep pushing through because you got this. i love you and, again, happy you’re still here ^-^<3 [ from the sound of it, you seem to be in your teens, and i promise you as a 22 y/o still trying to navigate life, it gets better. just try to hang in there, and please reach out to those extended hands… you don’t have to be alone because you’re deserving of all the love and care ]
I'm sorry that you went through that, it's such a horrible experience. Especially since you went through it alone. Sadly, I just turned 23 :/ (I wish I could get those 3 years back). If I was in my teens I probably would feel more hopeful about my future, but I'm not. Thank you for your support tho!! <3
i’m sorry you have to go through this. i’ve been through something like this before so i know how hard it is, especially when you live with someone who doesn’t seem to truly understand. but i just want you to know you do belong in this world and you are worthy of love. not because of what you can give it, but just by being you. everyone here cares and supports you. you are only human and do not need to have everything figured out, so please don’t be so hard on yourself and know you are not alone. thank you for all your hard work and amazing content, you are loved and deserving of it🩷
Thank you for the thoughtful message and support! ♡
I dont use patreon, due to me not having the sims anymore. But reading your post, made me tear up. Cause I also tried not too long ago. I’m also ‘ok’ now, but the feeling still lingers, hard. But, what improved me in a way was this quote “do it for your younger self.” And I’ve kept my mind busy with watching “one piece,” it’s so good….. but, I really want to say is, don’t give up! It might seem like the end, and you have no one. YOU WILL! Theyre out there waiting for you to find them!! I can tell you’re a bright beautiful woman. Just cause you planted the seed, doesn’t mean you can eat the fruit the same day! Don’t give up on yourself just yet. Ik idk you, but I want you to become everything you wanted to be. TAKE CARE LOVE! ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ
Thank you! I am sorry you also felt that way, I hope you are doing much better now! I've never got into manga should I give one piece a try?
I never interact much in these comments, but I just want you to know that I look forward to your content and really have been enjoying them. That aside, I deeply appreciate you being here and the work you put in to make this game enjoyable. Thank you for choosing to stay, I'm always rooting for you <3
Thank you <3 I will try to make cute stuff!
BRUH, tell me why the fuck i started crying at the first sentence after the warning. ;o; Girl if you need someone to talk to, PLS don't hesitate to reach out. <3 you are so beloved by us.
Thank you so much I will try.
There are no magic words that can help, but I know we’re all here to support you and give you that hearing ear as we keep you in our thoughts and prayers. Love you even though I’ve never met you 🤎
I am incredibly grateful! ♡
https://www.jw.org/open?pub=g14&issue=201404&prefer=lang&wtlocale=E
https://www.jw.org/en/library/magazines/watchtower-no1-2023/prayer-mental-health-help/
Just don't give up please and try to find a real good therapist. The world needs you.
I just got a new therapist a few months ago! I will try thank you kindly!
I hear you, its been a tough road.. I don't see the full picture, but just take it day by day. be gentle with yourself. your important. please remember that. reach out to those for assistance, self care (resting or anything). in my prayers if needed <3 all with love & thank you for cc/hardwork. your not alone on this, trust.
Thank you! I will try to take things slow
❤️❤️❤️ life is so hard, I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but I really hope that you will soon find a path that will make it easier for you, I know we’re all strangers on the internet but we’re all in this world together you’re not alone 🫂
Aw thank you for the online hug ♡
I hope your environment and mental improves and becomes easier on you. Just know that I need you to feel like the cold sides of a pillow. Fucking feel better and get the courage to stand up, save funds and find a place, so once you do stand up for yourself you have somewhere to go and you won't just be lost and homeless. I love you girl💙
I plan on living with a sibling whenever that day come hopefully. Then I can be free!!! Aw I love you too! Thank you! ♡
Thank you for sharing your story. I understand very well on how it feels to be alone and want to escape. I'm here for you ❤❤
I appreciate it! And I am sorry you feel the same. ♡
Thanks for sharing your story. I wanted to share with you that you do matter and one day it will all come together and make sense. Thank God you’re still here and here for a reason I pray all will be well for you.🙏🏾❤️🩹🌹🫂
Thank you so much! ♡
