Book 3: Chapter 38 - A Deal with Death

People often complain that talents don’t seem fair.
Some talents offer incredible power at no cost.
Others have terrible costs or incredible risks.

The vast majority of civilians have at least one talent that is effectively useless.
Or not useless, but so specific that it almost never comes up.

I have to once again remind you that this is not a video game.
Callings are powers we ended up with when the world ended.

There is no meticulous balance at play.
No measurements, and no math to ensure every talent is equal in value.

And if you ask me? Those with the best talents are the ones with the worst luck.
It’s why all of you are stuck here as lancers.

If I were you, I’d be jealous of the talents that just fucking warm bread.
—Virgil Clay, Lecture

Violet woke up later than she should have. She’d been spared a shift on watch because of her injury and experience in the nest. But she still shouldn’t have been left alone for so long. She wasn’t complaining, but it was strange. When Terry tore his way into her tent, panic was playing with his face like it was clay. She’d never seen so many shifting expressions on anyone’s lips, much less Terry’s. Her vision was still blurry, though, so that could easily have been a mirage inspired by her dreams. She’d only left them seconds before, after all. She was also blinded by the sun he was letting in. The same one that must have risen at least forty-five minutes earlier. The rest of the group was not moving with the sense of urgency expected of lancers.

“Did Angelo say anything to you?” Terry interrogated, still standing in the opening to her tent.

Violet was still sitting up in her sleeping bag, her hair scattered around the tent in seemingly impossible configurations. She squinted as her mind caught up to the situation and sleep started to fade. She’d been having a nightmare, as she always did, and it took a second for her heart rate to fall. When it did, Violet forced her bleary face into a glare.

“Dude! The tents are private for a reason! What if I hadn’t been dressed? In case you forgot, we aren’t actually getting married, and I’m not really interested in giving you a show right now,” she complained. Even though the answer was obvious. She’d be stupid to sleep outside a yellow nest without at least her expedition uniform on. She could have been called to combat at any time. 

Terry didn’t point that out, however. He didn’t even complain about the wedding comment. A joke like that should have inspired at least a blush. He was too panicked. Which Violet could understand well enough, assuming Terry overevaluated Angelo’s character. The negotiator had apparently discovered his team leader’s absence, and he was interrogating everyone who’d spoken to him the night before. Violet was probably the last. 

“Shit. Can you use your... privacy artifact or whatever? This is important!” Terry pleaded. He was reacting to both her irritation and her jab like a brick wall. 

Violet raised one eyebrow, but she thumbed her necklace to offer the pair some privacy. “This better be important,” she grumbled.

“Violet, we can’t find Angelo,” Terry replied. There was a tremble in his voice like cracking ice over a freezing lake, and he could’ve fallen through at any moment.

Violet wanted to suggest Angelo had simply run. It seemed perfectly in character to her. He was just like everyone in Roseville, as far as she could tell. Always going on about wanting to protect people, but happy to risk Violet the moment she offered. He’d wanted to abandon the nest, too. He was basically Stephanie with a halo.

But Terry wouldn’t accept that. Everyone always saw their friends through rose-colored glasses, and Angelo’s friends would insist he was brave. So Violet’s lies couldn’t be based around the seraphim’s actual character. She had to lean into the image Terry believed in.

“Missing? What? I know the fog is colorful out there, but how could he go missing in broad daylight?” she asked.

“He disappeared last night after talking to you. Please, I need to know if he said anything before he left,” Terry begged. 

Violet closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead with one hand. She was still waking up, and this conversation had far too much energy for her taste. She needed a good hour before she was ready to deal with this bullshit. “That doesn’t make any sense,” Violet groaned. “If he’s been gone since I saw him... man. He’d have to have been missing for at least six hours. Why are you just asking now?” she replied. She was genuinely curious about that, actually. She’d fallen asleep waiting for someone to do exactly what Terry was doing now. But they hadn’t even woken her up at sunrise. 

“No one knew he was gone,” Terry explained, his voice frantic and annoyed in equal measure. He obviously didn’t want to bother elaborating on the problem to Violet. He wanted an answer. But her question was both fair and relevant. So he pushed through anyway. “He told me he needed to clear his head and make a plan. He promised he was only going to fly above camp for a few minutes, and I went to bed, alright? Then, when it was my turn to keep watch, I thought he’d done the same. It wasn’t until I tried to rouse him that I realized he was missing, alright?” 

Violet frowned, but she began climbing the rest of the way out of her sleeping bag and gathering her endless hair. She bit her lip as she unraveled a ribbon from her wrist and started tying up a messy sidetail. “Who was keeping watch before you? Did they see him come back? Maybe he left again more recently,” she interrogated.

Terry let an exasperated and urgent breath leave his nose. His body moved up and down almost like he needed to take a piss and Violet was stopping him. But still, he answered. “It was Aubrey. And yes, I asked her first. She thought he was in bed already. She was distracted, I guess, but I think she would have noticed a goddamn angel landing in camp. Now please. Please. Do you remember anything he said that could explain where he is now?”

“I’m thinking!” Violet snapped. “But if Angelo isn’t here, that puts me in charge. So I need as much information as possible, alright?” 

Terry had to step aside as Violet climbed to her feet and pushed her way out of the tent. She took a quick survey of the camp and found almost everyone awake. All but Aubrey and Masaki were moping somewhere nearby, as if they weren’t camped outside a nest of super zombies. Aubrey was most likely sleeping after taking watch in the middle of the night. It was obvious at a glance that the spirit of the group had been broken. Their odds of surviving the nest had always been bleak, but they seemed real after their first attempt. With Violet sleeping in and Angelo AWOL, no one was pushing them to do anything but feel sorry for themselves.

Even Kiera looked defeated. The fox was sitting on a cluster of crystal, drawing pictures in the dirt like a child. Her ears and tail were drooping like a punished dog, and Violet winced. She’d forgotten she lashed out at her best friend the night before. She could barely even remember why. Capturing Angelo had put her in a good mood. She’d solved one of the more significant obstacles of her work, and she wouldn’t be crawling to Kassie with unexplained injuries again. And scaring people who reminded her of home was... cathartic. Considering all of that, she’d erased the memory of Kiera’s ungrateful fear. 

Violet felt bad about that. She’d been rightfully annoyed, but Kiera was a good friend. She’d been too harsh to the fox. She’d have to make up for that later. She hated it when she lost her temper like that. Damage control always took so much damn effort. And even then, people always remembered those brief moments of excessive honesty for way too long. 

That was an issue for another day, though. She stood in the mist and scanned the landscape. The school stood on the horizon, threatening everyone on her team, and Terry was visibly panicked. “You said you asked Aubrey about Angelo, right?” Violet said, looking back over her shoulder. Terry was on the verge of hyperventilating. “Why is everyone just sitting around like nothing is wrong?” 

“I asked everyone if they knew where Angelo was, and I asked Aubrey about last night, but I haven’t announced he’s been missing. I was really hoping you’d have an answer for me, and I didn’t want to panic anyone,” Terry explained.

“I guess that explains the request for privacy,” Violet noted. “Alright. One second, we need to address this immediately. I... oh. Oh, fuck.”

Terry immediately tensed. The alarm bells in his head sounded so loudly that Violet could practically see flashing lights behind his eyes. She didn’t swear often. At least, not in front of people she wasn’t in the middle of killing. This was one of the benefits. The use of one word had granted instant credulity to whatever followed.

“What? What is it?” Terry asked.

Violet bit her lip and looked him in the eyes. “You’re right. He did say something before he left; I just... I didn’t think much of it at the time. It was just something you say, you know? We were talking about how we could raid the nest without anyone getting hurt. If it was even possible. And I thought... I thought he was just working through it, you know?” she rambled. She allowed her own voice to crack and waver a bit, like the sudden realization was trying to choke her.

“Violet. Violet, what did he say?” Terry pressed, stepping closer and putting one hand on Violet’s shoulder.

“He was asking me about the nest. The layout inside. Where the heart was, and what the fastest way out might be. Like I said, we were discussing what we should do today. It all seemed normal!” Violet insisted. Her eyes widened and her words quickened, like she thought she needed an excuse for not realizing the truth. 

Terry pulled on her shoulder and forced her entire torso to face him instead of her head alone. He shook her as he spoke, desperation violently expressing itself. “What did he fucking say?” Terry demanded.

“He said he was going to make sure none of us died!” she whispered, her voice weak and guilty. “He told me he was going to fix his mistake. Just before he left the tent... he promised he’d die before he let any of us get hurt again. And I thought it was just determination, but if he left camp right after that? Terry, I think...”

“No,” Terry denied. “He’s not stupid enough to... He wouldn’t...”

“Your team is his family, Terry. People will do stupid things to protect the people they love,” Violet argued.

“But... but the nest is yellow! He’d know he would die if he tried to get the heart on his own!” Terry shouted. He let go of Violet, putting one hand over his mouth as he tried to process the information. “Shit. Oh, Christ. If you’re right... Violet, it’s been hours! He’s... He’s...” Terry trailed off, entirely incapable of speaking the final word.

“No,” Violet immediately denied. “No, you’re right. He’s not stupid. Just too brave for his own good. He may have left in the middle of the night, but he wouldn’t enter the nest in the dark. Not while we were sleeping and couldn’t respond to an attack. Taking the heart will trigger a violent response from the hedron. He’d wait until he knew we were awake to go inside. He can’t have gone in more than, what? Half an hour ago? He’s not dead.”

And with that, Terry was no longer asking if Angelo went into the nest alone. He was asking if the angel survived. The lie had been sold, and Violet didn’t even need her talent. 

“How can you be sure?” Terry asked. 

Violet sniffed, then touched her necklace to deactivate its effect. A second later, she snapped her fingers at Lisa, the nearest student. “We need everyone geared up and in formation, at the first rally point before the nest. As soon as possible. Hours ago, ideally. Get it done,” she ordered.

Lisa, who’d been polishing one of her homunculi, looked at Violet like she was annoyed, then stopped before snapping back. Violet didn’t actually have authority over Angelo’s team. Or, she did with Angelo missing, but Lisa didn’t know that. So the order came off as rude and arrogant.

Then the other girl saw Violet and Terry’s expressions, and her own straightened out immediately. “On it,” she replied. Seconds later, and she was speaking to Kiera while her constructs retrieved Masaki.

Violet reactivated her necklace and gave Terry a desperate look like cancer. “I can fix this. We can save him, but you have to trust me,” she said. 

“Anything,” he promised, leaving not a moment of hesitation in the empty air. 

“We need to make a deal with your talent. Because I can’t afford even a moment’s hesitation from you when we do this. If you can make this one deal, I will make sure you see Angelo again. If he is still alive, I will save him, and I will bring him back safely to your team,” Violet said. Just a little white lie. And he believed it immediately.

“Of course. Any deal you need. But it has to be an exchange. I can’t offer or take anything for nothing. Whether it be my talent for attributes, or my talent for transactional deals. I wish I could promise you something for nothing. Anything to save my best friend. But I can’t. That's just how my talent works,” Terry explained.

Violet knew that already. Fatal Flaws had helped her understand that quite clearly. That, and the fact that he couldn’t deactivate an unfulfilled deal. He had to comply with the terms, no matter what they were. But she nodded as if she were just learning the details. “Does saving Angelo count?”

Terry shook his head. “You can’t trade anything you might not be able to deliver. And it has to cost you something. Not necessarily something material. But something,” he denied. “But I don’t care what. Just make the offer. We’re wasting time here.”

The urgency was good. The panic would help. “That’s fine. Here’s what I will offer. If Angelo is alive, I will make sure he makes it back to Prism City. And if he’s not, I will recover him for you. Or I will die trying. That’s my offer. One of those conditions will be fulfilled, no matter what. Even if it somehow takes decades. I will get him back home, or I will die,” Violet offered.

“That will work,” Terry immediately agreed. Violet noted that he didn’t question it for even a breath. It was easily worth it to him. He was just like Angelo. Happy to trade her life for Angelo’s. Because he didn’t know her as well. Everyone really was the fucking same. “And you want the same from me?”

Violet shook her head. “No. No, what I need from you is instant obedience, without questions or second-guessing. I need your trust. Your end of the deal is simple. Until we either get Angelo somewhere he feels safe or we find him dead, you will do everything I say. Everything. You will follow every order I give you without a moment’s hesitation, and without a single question,” she explained.

And this was the first time Terry paused, swallowing hard as he did. She could tell he wanted to ask why she needed that, so she answered before he could. “The question you're about to ask is the answer. Angelo is out there right now, and you want to waste time on an explanation. We aren’t going to have time for that in the nest. Make the deal, and we won’t have to worry about that,” she said.

Terry’s jaw tightened, but he nodded and offered his hand. “It’s a deal,” he said. And Violet shook.

“Great,” she replied with a sigh of relief. “Alright, I am going to write a list of instructions for you and your team to follow. Just relay what I say to them word for word, alright? We’re going to need to split up. Your team will be creating distractions while mine retrieves the heart.”

“Understood,” he replied. She could see questions in his eyes, but they’d made a deal. So he couldn’t ask why she’d need his talent if they were separated, or why she was referring to the heart as their target and not Angelo. All he could do was agree.

Violet pulled out a small notepad she kept in one of the cargo pockets on her left leg. She retrieved the field pen from its spirals and started writing simple directions. As she did, she snapped her fingers like she’d forgotten something.

“Oh, right! This last part is the most important for the mission. It’s a secret, so don’t tell your friends about it, alright? Not even your thoughts about it, or me, or why something so silly might be necessary,” she said. She didn’t even look at him as she spoke. The order for secrecy was casual, despite the words behind her tone.

“Of course,” he agreed.

“After you’ve done everything on this list, or once you figure you can’t get it all done, I guess. Either way, really. Just once you’ve done what you can, I need you to do one more thing,” she elaborated, licking her thumb to catch a page in her notebook and flip it.

“Without hesitation,” he promised, echoing Violet’s phrasing for the deal.

“It won’t make a difference to Angelo’s situation, and it’s really not a big deal,” Violet said, writing down the final instruction. She then tore two pages from her notebook, folded them, and handed them to Terry. Finally, she met his eyes with a smile, saccharine and innocent. It was a kind yet unsettling smile, with that almost childlike quality unique to adult women in men's fiction.

“Please kill yourself.”