Book 2 Chapter 46 - A Real Smooth Guy

People often ask me this question.
After doing so much research for ‘Cruelty in Color’,
I may be the world’s foremost expert on the Cruel Ivy Killer.

Which means I have the best chance of answering the question that burns in the heart of so many... people.

And I am sorry, but there is a reason I didn’t specify this in my book.

Violet did have romance in her life. I start my book talking about Alex Jiron, after all.
She had people she cared about for different reasons. Those she would protect and those she would betray.

But she was never upfront about... anything. At least, not on any public record I can find.
Nothing she said can be taken for granted.
The definitive answer to this question likely exists exclusively in private interactions I have no access to.

So how the hell should I know her actual sexual orientation?
I get it. People love a hot, evil woman. And for some reason they want her to love them too.
The good news is, there is evidence in every direction! just believe whatever you want!

So please stop asking me if she would be gay or straight for you.
She would probably just fucking kill you either way.
—Daisy Whitaker, Interview

“Are you sure? Didn't Clay just tell you to go straight to the headmaster? You can catch up with Aubrey and Guy afterwards, right?” Kiera asked.

“Clay also said he'd fight the queen if it showed up. And that ended with a stranger giving me sponge baths for a week. Don't get me wrong, whoever it was did a great job! But I don't know if I’m going to hold Virgil Clay’s wisdom close to my heart for a while,” Violet responded. She continued perusing the school shop as she spoke. She needed another gift for Aubrey. She was probably in the clear after the nest. Still, she wanted to drive the point home. Harsh words would be remembered far longer than acts of kindness, after all.

“I mean, they didn't do an amazing job,” Kiera countered.

Violet put down the book she was looking through. She casually lifted an arm to check if she actually had a noticeable body odor. After a brief sniff, she glared at Kiera.

“I smell lovely, I’ll have you know. Like the finest of liquid infirmary soaps. Maybe you're getting a whiff of your own bad attitude,” she quipped.

“Oh, sure, you smell fine. But it wouldn't have killed them to keep your legs shaved, right? I mean. You're wearing a skirt, Vi. Another couple of weeks and you’d have fur,” Kiera teased. She leaned against a display as her mouth widened to a self-satisfied grin.

Violet rolled her eyes and picked the book up again. “First of all, that's what the long socks are for. Second, stop staring at my legs, weirdo. Third, you are literally a fox. Fourth, neither of us will ever match the baby-smooth skin on Guy's legs, and it is hubris to try. So it makes no difference. So if it's all the same to you, I’d like to ask that you retract your slander against my dutiful nurse. They served me well,” she lectured playfully.

Kiera held her hands and ears up at the same time in a cartoonish display of surrender. “Alright, alright, I yield!” she laughed. “But seriously. You should go to your meeting. Bouvier is probably not someone to fuc–to jerk around. Especially if Kassie is right.”

“Kassie just wants to sound smart,” Violet dismissed. “The point is, I have my priorities. Our fireteam comes just barely ahead of meeting with grumpy old men in cramped offices.”

“Suit yourself, I suppose,” Kiera agreed. “Are you sure you want to meet up with them alone, though? Are you feeling up to it? As you and your leg hair helpfully reminded me, you just came out of a week-long coma. After getting your ass tossed around a nest like a squash ball.”

“I feel fit as an extremely pretty fiddle, thanks,” Violet assured. “And you’ve had a long day yourself. With a longer one to come. You should take some time for yourself. Watch Sailor Moon. Wrap yourself in a blanket. Get judgy about archaic women’s beauty standards. All your favorite things. I just want to thank them for visiting me while I was out; I’ll be okay.”

“Fiiiine,” Kiera agreed. “But I’m making you watch with me when you get back, and we are having hot chocolate in disgusting quantities!”

“Of course! Who wouldn’t load their body with sugar after a week of eating through a tube? Sounds safe and healthy! I’m in,” Violet agreed. Finally, she nodded and took the selected book to the counter. “I’ll take this one.”

Violet was still astonished at Kiera. At how effective the fox’s illusions were. Her friend had been lied to by the father who was trying to kill her. Violet had confessed to a murder, and asked to plan another. And Kiera had been telling jokes about leg hair an hour later. 

It was fascinating.

But Violet would have plenty of time to test its limits later. For the time being, she had two conversations to get through. Or, three, rather. But she wanted to make Bouvier wait. She wasn't going to come when he whistled. She wasn't a dog. She'd be there when she was ready, and not a moment sooner.

Aside from that, she'd gone to the school shop for a gift, and she was going to hand it off to Aubrey.

Before that, however, she needed to handle Guy.

The boy was a coward. Which didn't bother her all that much, all things considered. Except he was a coward whom Kiera trusted. Violet had trusted her best friend with the truth about Derek, but she was not going to trust Guy. Cowards were terrible at keeping secrets. They were terrible in general, if Alex was any indication. 

Violet needed to draw a gentle line in the sand. A warning for Guy. He was welcome to spend time with the group. He was funny, and a joy to spend time with. And she didn't care if he wanted to hook up with Kassie, AJ, the guy in class with the angel wings, or even Kiera. But she did care if he let Kiera lean on him. He would collapse. And with Violet using Kiera for support, all three would fall.

The solution was simple. She simply needed to encourage him to keep his interactions skin deep. Whether they were emotional or physical didn't matter. So long as he didn't tease Violet’s secret out of Kiera, then crumple under his cowardice the first time he was asked.

She knocked on his door.

It was silent for a moment. But the door swung open without too long a wait, and Guy stood on the other side. He wore shorts, more sweat than made sense, and the goofiest grin Violet had ever seen. 

“Violet! You’re awake!” he exclaimed. He stepped forward to hug her, then paused. He turned and sniffed his armpit. Violet was mildly amused as he mirrored her own actions from a few minutes before. And she begrudgingly admitted, only internally, that she vaguely understood what was so attractive about him. At least in this state of dress. Strangely enough, he actually did have shapely nipples. Aesthetic enough that she’d been examining them for several seconds before she realized. How weird. He was still a coward, though. In any case, he had second thoughts about wrapping his arms around her, and rubbed the back of his head instead. “I was worried for you! They let me leave way before you, but we were infirmary buddies for a couple of days! You looked...”

Violet stared at him, daring him to finish the sentence. 

“Hot, as usual. But in an injured way. You know, like...”

Violet crossed her arms and tilted her head.

“How are you, man?” he asked, shifting gears entirely. 

Violet smirked and shook her head. “Surprisingly well, actually,” she answered. She then leaned to the side and peered past him. “Are you busy? You look busy.”

“Nah,” Guy answered. “Just entertaining Dustin. We really hit it off after the raid.”

Violet looked Guy up and down, her arms still crossed. She raised an eyebrow and tilted her head again, and Guy blushed. 

“C-Calisthenics! We both felt a bit like shit about our performance, and we’ve been trying to get ourselves into better shape. At least, for the past few days,” he clarified. “Dustin isn’t really interested in the other thing, apparently.”

The muse hadn’t emerged from the room to greet Guy, which might have seemed odd. Except that Violet had met him, and she knew how mild the boy was. It made enough sense for her to drop the topic. Although, Guy didn’t seem like basic strength exercises were new to him. He wasn’t as toned as the white-haired girl in their class, but he obviously exercised. It didn’t matter.

“That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about,” Violet replied. 

“Dustin’s sexual interests?” Guy asked. “He’s straight. Huge crush on Kassie, though, so if that’s what you’re after, you may want to move on.”

Violet ignored the choked protest that came from the dorm room. She sighed and let her arms fall.

“The raid, Guy. We have to talk about the raid,” she answered.

Guy’s energy evaporated like an interrupted song. His expression was left in uncomfortable silence, and he gripped one arm. He scratched it as he forced a smile. He looked over his shoulder and called back at the other resident. “Hey, Dustin. I think we’re done for today. Can we maybe have the room?”

The nervous muse emerged a moment later. Violet and Guy stepped to the side, and the shy boy shuffled past. Violet smiled at him, but he failed to meet her eyes. Tension layered the scene like butter melting in a pan, and no one spoke until the blushing boy was gone. Violet did notice that, while he was sweaty, he was fully dressed. So Guy was just being Guy, then. 

As soon as Dustin was gone, Violet stepped inside, and Guy closed the door. “Alright. Yeah, I wanted to talk about—” he started.

“Our lives were on the line out there, Guy. And that is going to happen again. Especially if our fireteam persists after school. Which it will,” Violet lectured.

“I... I know. Violet. I’m—”

“I want you to know I understand. I get it. This is what happens with a draft. Not everyone is cut out for the mist. Not everyone should be. And they draft kids. Teenagers, mostly, but with the wrong calling? Some of us are much younger when our lives are sold to the lancers. So, yeah. I understand. This is a natural result of forcing people to risk their lives. Honestly, I think mortality rates would be much lower with a volunteer force,” Violet continued.

“How did you know I was—”

“But that’s the problem. We need to be certain our backs are covered out there, you know? We can’t have a gap in our armor every time we enter the mist. I can’t keep fighting like that. Do you understand?” Violet pushed.

Guy waited a moment, just in case Violet had more to say. When she only looked at him, he finally tried responding. “I know. I’m a coward, and it almost got you killed. It did get you hurt. Because I failed when it mattered. Again. I understand. That’s why I’ve been working so hard. Because I’m going to do better. I’m going to be better. I promise, Violet. You’ll never be hurt because of me again,” he promised.

Violet winced, then shook her head. “Yeah. Yeah, I will. I saw you out there, Guy. I saw your eyes. You’re not going to do enough push-ups to fix that. Maybe it will help if you start meeting with Mr. Shephard. I don’t know. But even if it does, I will get hurt again if I rely on you. I’m sorry, but I’m not a person who repeats her mistakes. Especially not when lives are at stake. Aubrey is my friend. Kiera is my friend. And they are going to get hurt, too. That’s what we need to talk about,” Violet said. 

Guy looked like she’d just stabbed him in the gut and started twisting. He struggled to respond for several seconds, and tears built in the corners of his eyes. Violet didn’t sneer, no matter how pathetic it was. It may have had more impact if she did, but it would only hurt her in the long term. He needed to believe she cared about him more than she did. 

“I...” he started. He choked on his words and had to start again. “I’m trying here, Vi.”

“I know. And I understand how terrifying it is outside the city. I’ve lost people I loved to the mist. Looking at your face during that fight, I’d bet you have, too. It’s scary out there. That’s why I’m here. I want to take all of that stress off your shoulders. Relieve you of that fear, and keep everyone safe,” Violet answered.

“H–How?” Guy stammered.

“I need you to stay in the background. Use your Gargoyle talent when we run into hedron. And let Aubrey, Kiera, and me act as a three-man team. The three of us won’t freeze up. I’ll put you at the center of the formation in the future. And we’ll keep you safe. Which will keep the rest of us safe. Can you work with that?” Violet asked.

“I... I don’t want to be a burden, Violet,” Guy argued.

“The three of us volunteered to be here, Guy,” Violet countered. “This is exactly why. Because all three of us care about protecting the weak. And that’s exactly what I plan to do. It doesn’t make a difference if you are with us in the field or not. It’s not a burden. Just what we signed up for. But freezing when I trust you? That’s a liability. And I won’t lose anyone to it.”

Guy deflated. Violet could tell his efforts to improve himself suddenly felt small and insignificant. “Okay,” he whispered. “I can do that. If it keeps Kiera safe.”

“Speaking of,” Violet said. “Be cautious with her, okay? I don’t think she understands you as well as she thinks. And she really cares about you. Don’t be a weak point for her, alright? In the mist... or in her life. Don't get me wrong. You are a good... dude. And a good friend. And I’d like to go to karaoke with you again. I just don’t want my friend getting hurt because you were afraid.”

Guy set his jaw. “Never,” he promised. 

Violet locked her eyes on him, but gave a curt nod. “I appreciate it. I’m sorry for springing this on you, honestly. But... Guy, it was the first thing I thought of when I woke up. That fight hurt. And it hurt more because of you. I’m not saying this to be mean. I’m saying this because I’m scared, and I care about our team. I care about our friends. I care about you. I woke up afraid of what would happen if I didn't find you and say this. So thank you. Thank you for listening, and for taking this seriously. It means a lot to me,” Violet responded.

Guy clenched his fists, but he didn’t protest. “I promise,” he agreed.

Violet smiled at him with sympathy and gratitude in equal measure. “I know that was rough to hear. But there is a different kind of bravery in accepting reality. Especially when it hurts. Especially when it matters. And I honestly admire you for it. You're a good guy, Guy. And I do still want to get to know you better, if that's alright?” Violet pushed.

Guy struggled not to hang his head and nodded instead. He dressed himself in cheer as he always did. He stretched a smile across his face like a held breath. “Yeah, sure. I’ll take all the pretty friends I can get, and you know that,” he joked.

“Me, too, actually. Sounds like we're a match made in heaven,” Violet teased. 

“Ah, you think I’m pretty! How sweet,” Guy replied with a flutter of his eyelashes. Not for the first time, Violet watched this with a twinge of jealousy. He really did have impressively long eyelashes. 

“Anyway. Thanks for hearing me out. I know it was a bit awkward. But I feel a lot better getting that off my chest,” Violet said. 

“Sure,” Guy answered with his false smile.

“Anyway. I’d better go. The headmaster is waiting for me, and I want to drop this off at Aubrey’s dorm,” Violet said, holding the book and a large card up as she spoke. 

She would’ve liked to chat with Aubrey as well, but she’d decided to drop the gift off first. It would help further soothe lingering wounds and take some labor out of their next conversation. She also needed to answer Mr. Bouvier's summons, and she'd left him waiting long enough. She'd made her point. 

And she had a lot of work to do. She wanted to get this out of the way.