Dearest Daddy (Journal Entry 12/20/22)

Today was nice in some ways and meh in others. I'm happy you are my father and I miss you. You're very much like Mr. Carson - a curmudgeon - but our curmudgeon which made a difference. I crack up at how I told you that you look like Bert but laugh like Ernie. Oh how I miss your laugh. I miss us laughing at something so silly like Office Space or Austin Powers. We loved to laugh.

Did you know that I got a masters? In music nonetheless. Yep, your bear did it. Naje said you'd be so proud of me especially since it's from CalArts. I wish you could have seen my recital, the work I created and heard Even So, the song I wrote for you. I suppose if quantum physics, spacetime continuum and all that jazz exists...then you did see and hear it.

Can you send the winning lottery numbers though???!!! The bear is in need of some serious cash. I think often about how frugal you were and how you rode your bike to work when you lived in Long Beach. Daddy, you were one-of-a-kind!

There are so many thoughts that occupy my mind. Sometimes it's peaceful when I'm at the lake like today - feeling your spirit soaring through the sunset. The twilight decorating the tranquil waters and the ducks swimming in its shadows.

If what they say is true...I will see you again. Then we can dance, play music and I'll lecture you for hours about what earth was like after you left. We'll watch movies and laugh and laugh for eternity. I'll be my college self and you'll be your 40s self with the black hair and mustache in the heavens.

Maybe I'll get to see you as a kid for a brief moment.

Well, I love you Daddy. Plain as day!

You were a complicated human and I know you did the best you could with the knowledge you had at the moment. Thank you for loving me.

Hindsight 20/20 eh?

Did I sink anything? (LOL)

Deo-da-dent (hee hee)

Love Eternal,

Boo Bear

PS...but seriously Daddy...send the winning lotto numbers to me pronto...ha ha ha!