March 26, 2026

Resident Evil Requiem’s Story Is Unforgivably Dumb | Semi-Ramblomatic

Hey hey, here's the new episode of Semi-Ramblomatic from Yahtzee and Matt.

Resident Evil Requiem’s Story Is Unforgivably Dumb | Semi-Ramblomatic (YouTube)

Comments (7)

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Cynthia McGarvie · March 29, 2026

Since s&box is a thing that any game developer can use (thanks Garry!), anyone can make whatever game they want that is better than AAA slop.

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Davsau · March 27, 2026

Overall I enjoyed Requiem, but agree the plot is janky. Why is Grace, an FBI analyst, being sent to this creepy abandoned hotel where a murder took place all alone? Especially given how her mother died there and she’s a nervous wreck? It’s a little thing that bugged me. It wouldn’t alter anything major, just give her a partner and kill him off instead of the cop.

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Pēteris Krišjānis · March 26, 2026

That hand wavey approach to resurrection feels borrowed from Village. Said that, quite a lot of writing feels lazy even for RE standard.

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Maytree · March 26, 2026

Wow. Metacritic: "Universal Acclaim", Second Wind staff: "IT SUCKS!" As someone with several biology degrees, it's pretty hysterical to me that the issue you have with Resident Evil's story is that you find Emily's survival improbable. Biologically speaking, no zombie/mutant monster story in any medium EVER makes any sense. That's not what this kind of story is about. Suggesting that someone who has spent nearly 30 years shooting up various gooey monsters and turning them into ludicrous gibs and/or puddles of liquid slime might have some idea which wibbly wobbly throbbing bits are important and which aren't is probably one of the least ridiculous things to happen in RE's monster stories. (Possibly irrelevant side note: As a biologist who loves SF and fantasy, I have long since resigned myself to the biology never ever making sense. Many years ago I remember watching an episode of Deep Space Nine, my favorite Star Trek property, and Bashir had this one line about 'The proteins are breaking down into DNA!" and I just about fell out of my chair laughing because that makes as much sense as saying "The chalk is breaking down into cheese!" The proteins are absolutely not doing that, for fuck's sake, DOCTOR. And don't get me started on how the Blight that is supposedly killing the Earth in "Interstellar" is just ...NO. The producers of that movie bent over backwards to bring on a real physicist and make the physics more or less accurate, but they couldn't spare a sliver of the budget to bring in someone with an ecology background and come up with a plausible way to destroy the Earth? But I am digressing pretty severely here.) If you want to patch the story hole it's not hard to do -- why didn't Leon follow Grace when she freaked out and ran off? She still obviously needs protection. Maybe it's because he was checking to see whether or not Emily was in fact actually dead, and Grace got away from him before he could catch up to her and tell her there was still a spark of life in that mess that used to be a little girl. It wouldn't have been a particular kindness to tell Grace he didn't finish off Emily in any case, given that, at that point in the story, they had no way to restore Emily to anything resembling a functioning human. But once they had their hands on the magical un-monstering potion, sure, let's go back and pour it over the child-monster's jiggling mass of undifferentiated protoplasm and cross our fingers! This isn't an issue of "lore", it's just monster movie logic in action. I mean, consider another horror property that you've expressed admiration for numerous times in the past. In SH2, how exactly did Laura, a child, find her way to Silent Hill? She was an orphan under the care of a hospital or children's home, and they let her run off and lose herself in a city that she's never been to before and has no idea how to find? We don't ask questions like this because Laura's presence in the story has an extremely important thematic purpose, so the logic of her inexplicable arrival in the town is completely irrelevant to the tale being told. Similarly, Emily's survival and restoration in RE has an important thematic purpose in the good ending of RE Requiem, and that is why it's there, logic be damned. I can't help but wonder if the real issue here is not the logic of Emily's survival, but that as the father of an undoubtedly adorable young girl who loves Pokémon plushies you feel emotionally jerked around by the game making you feel horrified at Emily's terrible fate, only for the game to retract it at the last minute with a "PSYCH! The little girl will survive and be fine and happy after all!" I think that would be a much more valid criticism of the story than to complain that Emily's survival is nonsensical. (It's not a criticism that I would have, as I have no problem with Emily surviving, but I think it would be a valid one.) Oh, and players have reported that if you try to aim at certain parts of Emily's monster form, the game will actually adjust Leon's aim away from them and not allow you to shoot Emily there. I don't have the slightest problem believing that Leon knows where to shoot to disable a monster versus kill it. Grace is right there screaming "STOP STOP STOP!" -- the sensible thing to do if you have the skill and knowledge to pull it off is to incapacitate the monster rather than kill until you can figure out what the Hell is going on, because you can always kill the monster later if necessary.

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Allan Mills · March 26, 2026

While Emily part was certainly odd, I did wonder if it was a bit in-universe tongue in cheek. She didn't have any parts that were glowing/pulsing/giant eyeballs which are what RE games consider to be vital points. I thought the larger plot issue was that Grace was taken to the medical center and left bound, upside down with blood being drained from her in a part of the building where a giant man eating monster was wandering around. Then Gideon unleased the zombie virus in the same building. It was clearly stated later on that they needed Grace to unlock Elpis. Risking her life was crazy and why didn't they take her straight to where Elpis was in the first place?

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Justin · March 26, 2026

Wow, I've been reciving a lot of bad reviews for RE9

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Tim Wilson · March 26, 2026

It’s genuinely a solid time, but the front half is so much better than the back half it’s soured a lot of people on it. Happy this plot point is getting the slating it deserves though.