Where I've Been

… Hey. It’s been a while.

First of all, I’d like to apologise for my absence. I know that I have been incredibly quiet over the past several months, and I know that for many of you this has probably been a big concern. I should have communicated to you all sooner, and I’m sorry that I left so much uncertainty surrounding this project in my absence.

Before anything else, I want to say how grateful I am for the support that has been sent my way over the past few months. Many members of the community have noticed my lack of presence and reached out with incredibly kind messages, and I cannot properly express how much that means to me. Thank you for caring so deeply – not just about the game, but about me as the person behind it.

I also want to apologise to my supporters, who have continued to contribute to the development of Another World throughout these past few months despite seeing very little new content in return. I am currently working through supporter benefits and making sure that nothing has been missed. If this affects you and I haven't reached out, please contact me either through Patreon’s messaging system or Discord, and I’ll make sure it is addressed.

The explanation for my absence is a long one - I completely understand if you don’t have the time to read through everything. However, I do know that many of you care very deeply about this project that I’ve created, and I want to be honest about what has been happening behind the scenes. More importantly, I hope this provides some clarity about the current state of Another World, and where my intentions for this project stand moving forward.

Another World began as a project I was excited to make, fuelled by a genuine passion for what I was creating and the joy of learning as I built it. The game also holds a very special place in my heart as the first creative project that has left a tangible impact on other people.

The pace at which I initially released new content for the game was frankly breakneck. Part of that pace was probably inspired by Selebus’ ‘Lessons in Love’ - a comparison that, in retrospect, was a ridiculous target to aim for. I set myself the goal of releasing approximately 12,000 words per month in a single update. Looking back, I had unknowingly built the project around a pace that simply wasn't sustainable.

Whilst the support that I received within earlier updates really pushed me to continue development and fuelled my passion for the project, what had once started as a personal creative endeavour began to have real-world expectations with thousands of eyes watching for more updates. While I'm endlessly grateful for that support, it also meant the pressure of delivering content with both pace and depth increased as time went on. Furthermore, as the quality of my production increased through my scripting, modelling and storyboarding becoming more refined, my own expectations of what constituted ‘good enough’ brought additional pressure to development.

All of these issues cumulated in tighter and tighter deadlines for producing subsequent updates in a timely manner. It quickly devolved into a consistent game of catch-up to appease the relentless release schedule I’d put upon myself, the exponential social growth of the game, and the innate need to do better with each and every update that passed. Over time, I was spending more time worrying about the following update than enjoying the process of making the current one. Development of Another World has, retrospectively, been marred by the looming presence of both unattainable production deadlines instead of creativity, and my own constantly mounting expectations instead of the simple joy of creating - and it makes sense that at some point, my motivation and drive to create would eventually give way.

I don't regret pushing myself - I learned an enormous amount from doing so, and I’ve got to a point that I’m incredibly proud of the content that I produce for this game. But after maintaining that pace for so long - particularly through Versions 1.8 and 1.9 during one of the most difficult points of my life, it simply was not sustainable. I devoted so much of myself to the endeavour for such a sustained period that I eventually reached a level of creative burnout unlike anything I'd experienced before.

I haven't stopped wanting to work on Another World. In truth, there’s nothing more that I’d want to do than continue making it. The desire to keep creating something I’m proud of hasn’t faded - the act of physically doing it seems to have done.

At first, I thought I was just being lazy. I tried to brute-force my way through the first warning signs by setting up writing routines and having dedicated time to work on the game, hoping that my motivation would pick back up if kept on schedule. It never did.

I began to notice a pattern. I’d open up Ren'Py or VS Code, change a handful of lines over the course of several hours - and then close everything down, never feeling accomplished or never adding anything of significant value. Other days I'd find myself staring blankly at a Scrivener file with a scene already pre-planned in writing, unable to figure out a place to begin. I wanted to write, I wanted to make - but I simply couldn’t.

In fact, this post is probably one of the better examples. I've wanted to write it for months. There have been multiple abandoned, half-finished drafts over a several-month window to arrive at this point - and even more where I’d open up a word document, ready to write an honest and sincere apology to you all, only for me to be completely unable to get my thoughts into writing.

Instead of committing to developing the game's narrative, I’d distract myself by working on things that felt productive but didn't actually move the story forwards. Instead of finishing up a scene, I’d disappear down a coding rabbit-hole or redesign something I’d already done in the past. It would become an excuse I could keep telling myself that I was still ‘making progress’, while quietly building the wall between myself and the part of development I was struggling to face.

I suppose it doesn’t help that writing has never once been an easy process for me. Since the start, it’s been a slow war of attrition – but over time, it’s compounded. I keep rewriting the same scene ten times over, never feeling that any of the words sat quite right. There's always something - my phrasing is off, the characters aren’t acting like they should be, sentences are too long or too wordy, scenes don't work because I can't visualise them properly in CharaStudio, or I accidentally write myself into a narrative corner and contradict something I’d previously written. Every line I write seems to create ten new problems, and it grinds the pace of development to a screeching halt every time. I spend hours chasing perfection without actually moving the story forwards.

And underneath it all, there is the guilt. By some miracle, I've found myself in a position I'd dreamed about for years. People believe in this project enough to support it, and in doing so they've given me the opportunity to spend my life creating stories. That should have been everything I'd ever wanted - yet as soon as it became a reality, I've found myself unable to do the very thing I've worked so hard to make possible.

And that's the truth of it - I'm not writing this because I'm ‘cured’ and everything is suddenly back to normal. Ultimately, it’s still where I am now. There are still days where development flows naturally, and I do manage to chip away at the mental blockade that’s preventing me from going further - but there are still far more where it doesn't. I'm slowly making progress - but I wouldn't be honest if I said I'd found a solution yet.

Over the past several months, one of the biggest things I've had to confront is that I haven't been entirely happy with the direction Another World has been moving in - not because I dislike what I have created, but because the game had expanded so significantly beyond the original vision that I’d had for it.

Earlier in development, I was so focused on producing content and keeping momentum that I lost sight of the original intentions I had for this story. The roadmap I created was built during a period of excitement and rapid growth, but it wasn't necessarily built on a foundation that could support the scale the game has now reached. I found myself reaching a point where continuing forward meant building on top of foundations I was no longer completely satisfied with.

As a result of this, one of the largest things I’ve been contenting with behind the scenes throughout my hiatus has been a complete re-evaluation of the opening sections of Another World. In the past, I’ve discussed the idea of doing a ‘restructuring’ of earlier sections of the story – a large and complicated project, but one I can see as very beneficial to the game’s future. I have spent many, many hours revising narrative arcs, rewriting story beats, dissecting and planning character interactions and outlining project roadmaps to find an outline that will be more sustainable for the game’s future – but whilst I’m still trying to fully decide on the best course of implementation, I don’t want to fully commit to a project that could ultimately make my motivational issues even worse than they currently are.

Alongside this restructuring, I have still been working on new content. A number of events intended for the upcoming 1.11 update have been written - I’m just struggling significantly with visualising the scenes and translating what I've written into something that matches the vision in my head. It’s proving a much more arduous process than I’d anticipated but I am slowly getting there. Additionally, there’s the new character, Azami – I did tease her in a previous post, but I’m very happy with her design and I am working on her integration into the story.

While this isn't visible from the outside, a significant amount of time has also gone into improving the foundations of the game itself. I've rebuilt several of the underlying systems that power Another World, including the event system, hints system, outfit management, phone conversations, and location indicators. I will be honest and say that some of these improvements have been born from avoidance. It was much easier to convince myself I was making progress by improving the tools around the game than confronting the story content I was struggling with. Whilst these changes aren't necessarily things that create immediate new content - they make future development significantly easier and allow me to build the game in a way that is much more sustainable. I've also started work on an official Another World website, although it's still very much a work in progress.

Outside of the game itself, I've also spent time reconnecting with other creative outlets. I've been writing music for the first time in a few years, and exploring hardware audio electronic engineering. While these aren’t a direct part of Another World, they've been an important part of reconnecting with creativity outside of the pressure and expectations that I’ve surrounded myself with, and are an important part of reminding me that the process of creation is something I love. Whilst on the surface it appears that development has halted in its place, the reality is that a lot of time has been spent on understanding what Another World really needs - not just to continue, but to continue in a way that I can realistically sustain.

I think that one of the hardest things to admit is that I don't have all the answers. Something needs to change about the way I approach the development of Another World if I want to continue making it in a way that is sustainable - but I'm still figuring out what exactly that change should look like.

I also can’t make any promises about the future. I've spent too long chasing impossible deadlines and lofty expectations, so I don’t want to announce a roadmap that I’m not confident that I can deliver and ultimately end up in the same place I was. I think that it’s better to be honest and explain exactly where I’m at right now than to give half-empty reassurances that I may not be able to fulfil.

What I do know is that I care immensely about this project. Despite everything, I’m always thinking about this project. I’m always planning, thinking of new ideas, excited to share every story that I’d like to tell. This burnout hasn’t come from a lack of caring – instead, it’s come from such an intense care and pride in what I create that I’ve trapped myself in a snare of my own making trying to fulfil my lofty expectations.

Whilst I don’t know what the future of the game’s development will look like yet, I don’t want to pretend that I do. All I know is that I want to create a version of Another World that I’m proud of – not for fulfilling the expectations of myself or of others, but for of the love of creating.

To everyone that’s stuck around - I appreciate you. Your support means more than you know. It’s helped to create something I could never have imagined would come this far, and I don’t take that for granted. Whilst I don’t have a perfect plan yet, I’m still here – and committed to finding a way forward.

Maelstrom