Update
I seem to have hit a bit of a serious wall with Banished. The chapter stands at about 60 pages, but in the final few days of the month I could not for the life of me work it into something readable/acceptable enough to post, and I suspect it'll take a bit of work to fix it. The problem is that I think I might need to take some time going through some of the earlier bits, because I'm in a bit of a weird place mentally right now that's really messing with my ability to keep focused on what I'd planned, and what directions I needed to take certain characters into, and it really resulted in a chapter that was just all over the place.
As for my weird mental state, I should explain. I've been struggling with depression for some time, but I'd been on meds most of last year that worked really well. Covid, however, really messed that up, as I had to get off of the meds while I was taking meds for that, and afterwards, when I resumed taking my meds, I started having some weird reactions that I didn't before. I continued taking them though, at the direction of my therapist, at a lower dosage, but the problems worsened, and I've been off of them since the middle of last month. I'm on a new course now, but I'm still in the adjustment period and it might take some time before I'm back to being fully functional.
Now, given that it has affected my writing already, there are a few options going forward. Writing Banished will definitely have to wait, and probably also any other serial ideas that I had as focusing on big projects like those are likely beyond my capacity to manage. I can likely manage a short story, since I do have several drafted out well enough that I could probably manage it, and there is one that has been on my mind lately, so I could try that, but if it doesn't work out, most likely I'll just suspend my patreon (so that you won't be charged while I'm inactive) for the month and take some time to rest and recover so that I can get back to working on Banished, and hopefully, everything else that I'd planned to deliver.
Let me know what you think.
Regards,
Kousaka~
P.S. I will continue to do updates during this period, whichever direction I decide to go.
Comments (5)
Get yourself straight first. Depression is a serious ailment (I know from personal experience) and shouldn't be taken lightly. I'm beyond glad you have been seeking help for it. I would rather have to wait on you to write something with a clear and balanced mind than to read something while your mind is playing tricks or bringing you down. I love your imagination and don't want that stunted in any way. So look after yourself first. I want to be able to read and enjoy your stories for a long time yet, and can't do that if you're not well either physically or mentally. I wouldn't even care if you didn't suspend payments. I'm sure the extra money helps and having to not being able to rely on that could be a stressor that I feel would be un-necessary. My opinion is to keep collecting and get yourself better. So what if you don't post for a month or two. For most of us, it's only a buck or two a month. If they aren't willing to support you in your time of need then how much of a fan are they? For the higher-tiered people, they could just pop down to the dollar a month spot and await your update if they feel that way. I don't care to "lose" a few bucks while you get straightened out because I'd rather your quality work rather than forced stuff or even none at all if you self-harm. So take a hiatus, get well, keep the pledges of support, and keep us updated if you need anything.
Take a break if you need it.
Very sorry to hear you are going through a rough patch right now. Please do whatever you need to do to ensure you are able to keep yourself in a proper state of mind.
Mental health should 100% come as priority #1. A lot of us have been through or are going through depression as well, unfortunately it has just become that common. So we know that it can really make doing the things that you love difficult. Whatever you believe is the best course of action, we will support. Don't force yourself. As long as you give us occasional updates, I am happy. Besides, Banished is such a good series that I'd happily wait several more months for the next chapter, cause I know it'll be worth the wait. I myself even started on my fan writing a bit, but I rushed the first parts way faster than I really should have, barely even gave descriptions of certain characters, and now I'm reading two books, one on how to structure a novel (Structuring your Novel by K.M. Weiland) and the other on how to create good characters (The Psychology Workbook for Writers by Darian Smith). Both of which have already taught me a lot. Have to say, trying to write this has made me really appreciate the work you put in to your stories. it can be easy to write a story, but to be able to hook people and make them connect with your characters is a whole other ballgame. Hopefully I can manage to make a lot of progress this month, I imagine that once I get into the swing of things it'll only be a matter of about a week. I have been at least outlining where I want to go with my story, and I am very excited to get everything written. I've been rambling a lot here, but in short. We will wait as long as it takes, just keep us posted, best of luck.
Dont worry about it. Concentrate on getting yourself together. Check your meds manufacturers. Few months back got some blood pressure meds from a different manufacturer and ended up in the hospital. Wasn't the meds it was the ingredients.