Still struggling to accept my natural body. Would you rather look like your dream body (which I had achieved at the expense of my sanity and health) or look decently attractive and feel good. How would you feel if people stopped seeing you as the juiced up bodybuilder? When I was 24 and in peak shape like scary big and lean, I had a bad habit with p1llz oxy specifically. I was basically paid to be a bouncer to keep my homies girls safe while they did their hustle and they all thought I was so hot. I let them feel me up and worship me but I didn’t want to get no STDs. Poor girls I wish I could’ve done more for them but we are working to support our habit and had some really deep conversations while rolling that ice 🧊 pipe and now I’m craving crystal fuck. Crystal and roids. Blow my heart up idgaf… well actually I do because one time I had really legit chest pain and it felt AWFUL like my heart was being squeezed through a straw. Even though I have muscle now it’s nothing like it used to be. These pics were taken this morning. I’ll have a rough day tomorrow though, physically, actually it won’t be that bad..