Bing bong! Or ring ring! Whatever your text message alert system is. And let me tell you, what it's alerting you to, is alarmingly sexy! And what could be more alarmingly sexy than your long distance girlfriend sending you a nice sexy little dance. A sexy little dance with her sexy little body! A body that she misses you touching! Because you're long distance, remember I mentioned that part? It's like the defining factor in your relationship because it makes you guys miss each other so any kind of indication that you're thinking of one another is more significant! And let me just say, the significance is palpable.

So get on over here and watch your girlfriend tell you how much she misses you with her naked body! I don't know how anyone else would convey how much they miss another person. You should see the messages that I send to my siblings. Every Christmas, people send stupid cars, they send stupid gifts but not me, I send a full striptease to my brother where I call him Dad and it's really confusing. I know he likes it though, otherwise he wouldn't pretend to keep telling me to stop and asking me to get my life on track. Classic bro behavior! Always acting like I'm the problem when really he just doesn't know how to convey how much he appreciates my thoughtful holiday greetings! Anyway, enjoy!