Paywall because I don’t trust most of y’all to not hurt my feelings ☹️
Read on for more info about that!

I recorded this lil clip yesterday after lowkey stuffing myself for lunch. I was just excited about starting my time off 🤩
It’s 4+ minutes of belly rubs & belly play, hope you like it!

If you do decide to purchase this post, I hope you’ll take a minute to read through this!

If you’ve been paying attention you have probably noticed that I’ve been on a bit of a body image journey, for lack of a better description. It has felt much more complicated to be actively posting in belly kink spaces now that I’m in my adult woman body, when many of y'all first met me when I was fresh out of high school.

Sometimes the bellykinksphere is incredibly helpful and I think it has really helped me appreciate my body in a way that I might not have ever been able to without it. But also, the internet remains made up of thousands of strangers, and it can be really difficult to receive so much unfiltered feedback when I post.

It’s hard to blame people, though, even when their comments really hurt me. Like, I understand that the same words and phrases that devastate me are the ones that, for some people, are a huge turn-on to be on the receiving end of. And it’s hard to even predict or define the stuff I’m okay with hearing versus what will hurt my feelings.

So my solution thus far has just been to try to divert attention from my fat as much as possible and hope that people will just comment on other stuff, like my capacity or fullness or other themes. And that’s been kind of working so far?

But the thing is that I really do (want to?) love my body. And lately I’ve been having some experiences surrounding my weight gain that have reeeallllllyyyyy helped me understand what people find appealing about it. So I find myself tempted to take these little baby steps to see if I can continue exploring this facet of our kink without totally fucking up my mental health/body image.

I feel compelled to add a little aside here to say that sometimes I honestly get annoyed at hearing myself talk about this. Like, realistically, I have soooo much privilege that comes from my body size, both online and in my daily life. There are a lot of people who don’t have the option to try to curate the way they are seen online, and I get that I am being a whiny little baby by never shutting up about this. But whatever, it’s my fetish account, I guess I can word v0mit whatever I want because most of us are getting off most of the time 🤷🏻‍♀️

So anyway. This post is an experiment to see if I can tolerate making content that highlights or references my accidental weight gain. I’m feeling kind of optimistic because some of you honestly seem to really care about me and I think this could be a cool new chapter. But I’m also going to try not to beat myself up if I decide I can’t handle it. I hope y’all would understand that as well.

So, what am I actually saying here? I think I’m just asking, if possible, that you try to pay a little attention to my boundaries or preferences if you continue to be a part of my little community. Like I said above, it’s honestly a little hard to define what I am okay with, because I don’t always know what to expect from the comments. But if this post goes okay, maybe we can continue to build trust and explore it together?

I’m going to try my best to write out some things here that I’d like to ask you to avoid saying to me:

• I know for sure that I am NOT okay with any comment that refers to me as or compares me to an anim@l. Like, do not mention pigs or cows or whales to me or I’ll honestly probably block you. You might get one warning if you seem kinda nice.
• One concept I think I’ve identified that I have an extreme aversion to is anything that takes away my agency. Like, suggesting that I will eventually spiral out of control and just keep gaining weight indefinitely against my will. If that’s appealing to you, I think that’s awesome, I just need to insist that you don’t direct that towards me.
• Honestly, another reason I have been trying to avoid this topic is because I really don’t want to hear people being like, “see, I told you, eventually we all knew you would change your mind and decide to gain.” Again, that really triggers me because to me it feels like you’re denying my agency. I feel like it’s positive to consider how my relationship to the topic has evolved, but I do not like to see it framed as something I just couldn’t resist. Like, y’all don’t know me like that, I don’t feel like you have the right to imply that you know what’s going on in my head.
• I don’t know if I can handle discussing the fat on my face yet 😭 idk why that bothers me so much more than the fat anywhere else on my body. If you like my double chin or my chubby face, that is so nice, but I just can’t talk about that yet.

Those are kind of the first things that come to mind. I’m just hoping that anyone who engages with this post will read this first and try to understand. I really do think it could be cool to let my feelings on this topic continue to evolve. I wish it could happen in a vacuum, because I think it would’ve taken way less time for me to get to this point. But the internet is a hellscape and I’ve seen people say some stuff, even things not directed at me, that have really scared me. So it is what it is! 🤷🏻‍♀️ I guess we’ll see how this goes.

As always, thank you to those of you who are always kind to me. Y'all are the ones who make it feel like it’s worth it to keep trying new things. 💕