YOUR NEW GIRLFRIEND
Spineless, gross, and undesirable in pretty much every way… are you really that surprised you're so lonely? Fortunately, you have a partner - two in fact - that will never leave you! They don’t care how disgusting you are, how hideous you look, how many hours you spend gooning in your favorite crusty spot… on the contrary, they assist. They know exactly how you liked to be touched and they’re always there when you need them. Start giving those hands the appreciation they deserve.