I'm on my bed looking like a total snack in this dark red tracksuit, and my fat ass is brewing something foul just for you.

The fabric's thin and my stomach is a ticking time bomb of stinky, nasty gas. I roll onto my side and let the first one rip. A long, hot hiss that fills the sheets with my stench. Then another. Then a wet, gurgling brap that vibrates through the mattress.

I'm being hot. I'm being sexy. I'm making you suffer. Every fart is nastier than the last. The tracksuit traps the heat and the smell. You're right there in bed with me, gagging in it, begging for more while I just keep looking perfect and poisoning the air.