What it’s really like to live with me? This is your dream (or nightmare ) come true. For 30 whole minutes I let you follow me through my entire day—morning to night—and you’ll quickly learn that being my boyfriend means dealing with a LOT of nasty gas.

I wake up bloated, farting the sheets off the bed, giggling while I sip my coffee and “season” it with my ass . On the couch, I can’t stop blasting loud stinkers while I fan my ass with a book, teasing you about how you’d have no escape if you were here. By the time I’m gripping my belly and waddling to the bathroom that fills with gas.

Evening isn’t better—I turn my bath into a bubbly fart jacuzzi while I hotbox myself in my own stink. You’ll see me press my ass against the shower glass, daring you to imagine what it smells like . Finally, I crawl into bed, but not before I stretch naked, showing off my belly and ass in every position while farting up your sheets. My last gift? One huge, nasty, bedtime fart that I tuck under the covers with me before I drift off giggling.

This is pure gassy girlfriend experience—unfiltered, dirty, humiliating, and so real you’ll feel like you’re actually living with me.