SPRING IS COMING SOON

It's been a long time since I've sat down to write a long post. I can't say anyone was looking forward to it, but if you are, thank you😇! The last three months of my life have been - they've just been. Have they been hard? What are hard days? I think the word “hard days” is very subjective, everyone says it differently and puts their meaning into it. I can tell, it wasn't easy for me, but I'm not complaining, and please don't think that this post is just about me complaining, no it's not. I originally intended to write my posts here as if it were my diary - it remains my diary😊.

I haven't been inspired for a long time, I've been having some sort of creative crisis, I don't know if it's the winter, or maybe it's what's going on in my life, or maybe it's all of them at once🤔. There was no inspiration to make new content, and at some point, I felt burnout, on this site I don't share my personal experiences about my family, or my inner self.** I understand that you come here for positive emotions**, for what you lack in this life. But nothing stands still and this site is changing very much and very quickly towards quick sex without emotional attachment, it seems wrong to me, but such rules of the game...🔞 Even when I was doing my experiment, probably the last big post on my page I realized that I am not much not a format for this platform, or rather not a format for its current realities. It made me think a lot about myself, my information field, and what surrounds me. The sum of all the reasons that I said above and something else led me to the fact that I procrastinate I have enough only for the most necessary things that I can not give up, family, work, and study, and not a lot of communication here. The news that's been going on in the world for the last couple of months is also sucking a lot of energy out of me, and someone will say “Just stop reading them”, but I can't, I can't be indifferent to what's going on, even when I smile, I think about the bad and my place in this life🤒. I can't think of anything new and interesting, it's about content, and the competition is never-ending, it's a never-ending race, and I'm not a spectator, I'm a participant. I think I should slow down because it's a race around the circle, if I stand my ground when the others will be breathing down my back! Or be more determined, think it through, and just walk away from the race. Just walking away is also an act, isn't it🫡?

I hope that as winter comes to an end🍀, I'll start to find my strength and get back to what I'm striving for, to become a better version of myself, to taste life and what I do again. After all, if I find the strength to write this, it means that I am on the right path and soon everything will change, I hope so very much. Thank you dear diary for listening to me, thank you for help! I will try to write to you more often💖.