My loves… here’s a real glimpse into my mornings now It starts in bed ofc 🫣 ’m lying there, hand resting on my massive belly. I stroke it slowly, feeling the warm, stretched skin, the deep folds shifting under my fingers… and I breathe out, long and heavy. Every exhale makes the whole thing tremble my belly rises and falls like a slow, heavy wave. I’m already panting just from that, heart thumping hard against my crushed ribs. Then… I need the bathroom. It’s absolute hell.
Getting up takes everything I have. I roll to my side with effort, push on shaking arms, my belly slams onto my thighs and drags me forward like de ad weight. I manage to stand barely, legs wobbling under the load, knees grinding, hips screaming. (Daddy helps me today so no standing up video 🐷) Every step is to rt uure feet dragging, thighs rubbing raw, belly bouncing painfully against my legs, stealing my breath with every movement. I shuffle like a gasping beast, sweating, wheezing, heart pounding like a drum in my chest🥵 We can see my belly and the door aren't friendly together 🫣I finally reach the toilet and sit. I grab my Kardia Mobile. Fingers on the sensors… and there it is my heart racing too fast, too hard, irregular skips like panicked hiccups. Over 130 bpm at rest, extrasystoles making it flutter. The graph shakes almost as much as my fat on the plate. My heart is fighting just to keep up with this body and I love watching the proof, feeling the fear and the dark thrill mix inside me. Relief… but then I have to stand again. Too hard. Too heavy 🫣
Arms trembling, legs refusing to push, belly pulling me down like an anchor. Sometimes I get stuck there for minutes, panicking, breathless, until someone comes to help. A hand under my arm, another under my back they lift me gently, steady me… and I moan with relief and that thrilling, humiliating rush.
And then… my morning sugar-butter mix is waiting.
Cold, creamy butter rolled in sticky white sugar… but today I had a custom video to film a special request from one of you.
Tip me if you want yours filmed a specific ritual, a humiliating moment, anything… I’m ready to do it all for you.
Waiting for you… heavy, breathless, dependent 🥵