Happy Fall, Y'all!

After a long sweaty workout, my curiosity took over, and I had to try fucking a pumpkin. Here's my full review.

🎃👍 Pros

• Pumpkins don't need breaks
• $5 makes them cheaper than most sex toys
• doesn't [🍸🥴] text you
• you (probably) don't need PrEP
• you can still make it into a face, or just leave its open hole on the porch

🎃👎 cons

• exterior is hard on the balls 😭
• difficult to get a rhythm
• requires a [pointy tool] to get ready instead of a douche
• much more slippery than a person when covered in sweat and lube