I get a fair few questions r.e fitness, my approach to gym / just generally balancing the pressures of an appearance-focused job with my mental health. I thought I'd drop a little rant here for those interested! (feel free to ignore if you don't give a hoot haha, if you scroll there's a video of me shooting a load when I should have been practicing lol)

So I've been lifting weights for about 5 years now and when I'm being diligent with my diet and lifting, my lifts are all increasing, etc. it really is a massive boon to my mental health. That sense of progress is really fulfilling! I got the exact same kick from practicing bass back in the day (my pre-porn career was in music) and feeling that daily growth. Perhaps it's not the healthiest thing, but it's become essential for me to feel like I'm consistently progressing in some way.

One problem: my travel schedule makes maintaining a consistent, long-term approach to muscle gain pretty rough. A lot of people break it up into 6 month-ish blocks: lock into eating more, lifting hard for the winter months and then lean up a bit for summer. In my case... between the Australian summer (Dec - Feb) & NA/Euro Summer (June - August) I simply never really get to have much of a quiet winter down-period. I definitely am not complaining in general, I certainly get to live an incredibly privileged life right now! But in an industry like this where physique is paramount and I'm surrounded by so many insanely fit and beautiful men, it's all come to weigh on me a bit.

The most recent example: prior to London I was locked in for a couple months, lifting heavier and heavier and feeling amazing. Then a month before leaving I dieted to get more camera-ready, and then over the course of that filming month you're bottoming a LOT, Airbnbs seldom have proper cooking setups, days can be insanely busy, etc. So by the end of that trip I found myself back down to the weight I was 6 months earlier. Bleak 💀

Thankfully I'm not going anywhere overseas until January so I have a really solid period now to really dig in, but eventually that up-down cycle will repeat itself. I confess, for the first time in my life lately I've had those thoughts in the back of my mind saying "maybe I should consider enhancing?" They're not realistic, I'm never gonna do that, but the fact they're occuring to me at all now is a little bit spooky ngl. Younger Sam never would have considered it for a second.

honestly, you guys have been so kind to me over my career here, I literally don't think I've gotten a single negative comment about my body. On OF, on X, on IG, anywhere. I think my appeal has always been the athletic, muscular but not ridiculously-so, boy next door thing. I don't even find those enormous muscular roidheads attractive (impressive though they are). I realistically don't need to gain an ounce of muscle ever again for my career here, so... on an intellectual level I know worrying about it is pretty silly. ofc the thoughts are there nonetheless.

Hopefully some of you guys find all this interesting or a bit more humanising? Long term I know it's crucial for my happiness not to be linked to my appearance. Time comes for everyone after all! So ultimately my main aim for the remainder of the year is to enjoy the progress itself, work on the mental fortitude, and strive to just be content.

Anyways. Thanks for reading if you came this far, I hope that covered some of your questions! Don't forget to scroll if you wanna see me cum also, I think it's hot x