HAPPY LOCKTOBER, BITCHES
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Welcome to the Super Bowl of beta losers who willingly lock themselves up to keep their pathetic little impulses under control.
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Welcome to the best month of the year.
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Welcome to Locktober.
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If you somehow stayed on the sidelines until now, you’re still circling, you don’t have a Mistress, and you want one absolutely insane month under proper control, I have a very small number of spots left.
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So contact me ASAP.
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And since it’s also the beginning of the month, I know some of you just got paid.
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Which means, in true Tony Soprano fashion, I’ve come to collect my share.
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If you enjoy my creativity, my attention, my wicked little ideas, and the way I make your life more interesting, this is your chance to return the favor.
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Make my life prettier. Make my month easier. Make yourself useful.
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Happy Locktober, bitches.