In this video, I'm curled up in bed, slowly devouring a big thick, dripping slice of tres leches cake. But something has been gnawing at me lately- a guilty feeling. There's a Curvage thread called "Weight Gain Schadenfreude."

It's about people confessing the thrill of watching a hot, fit girls- like the one I used to be- completely let go, soften, and balloon into lazy, sedentary blobs. They savor the downfall. The confident babe knocked down peg after peg. The Ming vase nudged off its pedestal. Watching a girl that men desired and women envied transform, permanently, into a** "weight gain trainwreck."**

I open up about what led me to this thread and made me want to share my story. The bodyshaming from family, the harsh comments from exes even when I was already thin and fit, the pressure to stay "perfect" that forever changed my relationship with food. And then my feeder's obsession- how every new pound, every lost bit of control, turns him on the most.

It's vulnerable. It's messy. It's me processing what it feels like to live inside of someone's darkest taboo. 🖤