Written by me in 2017:

I've stood here before.

Too many times to count.

Some days as validation.

Some days as a celebration.

Some days it's harder to see the beauty I express.

There is more of me these days.

"Too much more?" I ask myself.

What does that even mean?

My body yearns for the sun,

A craving it will have to wait to satisfy.

A realization that makes me ache to the core of my being.

I stare a little longer

My body moves, a jiggle at times I don't want to embrace.

My body is

It simply is

I've said it all before, it's strong, powerful, unique, soft, heavy, squishy, and loved.

It's dimpled and marked, I'm supposed to hate that, but I don't. I don't need to, but others seem to tell me I should.

I've stood here before.

I've felt the touch of a mans lips as he pulls me closer. I've heard him breathe heavier as he feels my soft skin, marked, dimpled, and heavy. He kept pulling me closer.

I've seen him watch me move. He pulled me closer. I've seen him take in the sensuality I possess about my body, my mind, my soul. I've seen him want to experience it. Be given the gift of how sexy I feel. He walks towards me. He pulls me closer.

And he stops, stops to take a look at our reflection. My body close to his. He can't stop staring, with desire, with lust, with excitement. I dare to do the same.

His body so much smaller, tighter, firmer than mine. He pulls me closer. And all at once the reflection doesn't matter anymore. The movements, the wiggle, the jiggle all becomes a part of feeling alive. Of sharing an amazing moment of pleasure with the human in my bed.

I've stood here before.

I'll stand here again.

But life is much more than this reflection. It's about the things we've touched, the feelings we've felt, the times we've been present, the warmth we've bestowed. It's about the fights we fight, and the people we believe in, it about the moments we've danced, and the moments we've cried.

I've stood here before.

But I haven't let this reflection be the only reflection of me.