Hiiiii, I know it's just a word post so I hope you guys see it, I just moved! Across the country!! It took me about 5 days to get here with my 14 animals so it's been exhausting and the house has one toilet and one bathtub, everything else doesn't work since it's under construction 😅 it's going to be a rough few weeks, probably months since I think they said everything will be done in August! I'm going to do my best to set up everything now, I'm currently having to shower at the gym and will have people present in the home constantly so we'll see??? I think I want to aim for a video every two weeks with a few photo posts scattered when I'm not looking like I haven't showered in days (I probably haven't haha). I also want to add that I'm extremely grateful and thankful for your patience. I've been sort of a mess for a few months now, trying to figure out my life and deciding I needed a new start. I love that I'm able to create and hopefully make a few of you smile while I'm at it (: ,, it's just been a long time coming process and things are finally looking up!! I know I'm just a random on the internet but I hope you hear me when I say, if you're unhappy in your conditions or maybe you feel stuck, leave!! Find somewhere cheaper if it's money, find somewhere greener if it's becoming too dull, and find somewhere that you feel new if things are feeling repetitive. It's a luxury to work from home, I know how lucky I am, but being in a state where I felt so utterly alone, like I had no places I could go to, surrounded by people who'd rather record than help, I think I've just needed a change. I've felt incredibly guilty and ashamed for not working during the process and it's led to this cycle of something needs to change, then being upset nothing is changing, then being too upset to do a job that requires confidence, to feeling like I'm letting people down and then just wallowing in that feeling too. I want to be a better creator, I want to be there for you guys because you've always been there for me and I don't want to disappoint any of you. I think I just need time. I kept trying to one up myself after every single video, always looking for better ideas and ending up mad if it wasn't exactly how I pictured it or better than the last. It made me not want to post unless it was unbelievably better than the last, completely new and unthought of. But obviously that's just an unrealistic standard I've been holding over myself and it made me put things off and then that cycle would happen where nothing would get done. I'm working on that part of myself, competitiveness with myself ?? 😅 not sure what I can call it. Burnout a little too. Anyways, sorry for so many words, I just feel like I owe you guys an explanation and I've been too ashamed and scared to give you one. I'm going to get better about that. I hope you all have a wonderful rest of your week and I hope I can get something out to you soon <3 I think I hate my new hair