“Good afternoon and Happy Monday to all our sexy, cum-stuffed employees!

A little reminder for those of you who are new: whenever you hear the jingle over the intercom, you are free to take a 10 minute pump break. Using your company-issued anal toys, stroke those big beautiful cocks until your balls are emptied all over yourselves!

IMPORTANT! Please keep in mind that, if you have not yet submitted your monthly semen sample, you are forbidden from cumming until after that is done.”