My life has officially gone off the rails… because my sex machine finally arrived 😍

And instead of trying to save me, the people around me decided to speed up the process - by supporting me with an absurd amount of slippery lube, like I’m about to conduct survival-level scientific experiments 🫠

The time has come for every one of my dildos to go through a whole new level of test drive. No mercy! No brakes! Just curiosity, mechanics, and some very bad ideas inside my head 😈

If I disappear again - just assume I was defeated by technology. I’ll be busy figuring out how to properly use my sex machine 😁