hello my cute lil degens~! if you don't care about my personal life and what i've been going through then ignore this - just know i'm all good and nothing is wrong, quite the opposite actually! but for those who ARE interested i'm gonna talk a bit about what's been happening and how it makes me very excited for the future 🥹💞

so! this may come as a shock to some of you (i hope lol...) but i was a very heavy weed smoker, daily, for pretty much all of my adult life... i first tried it when i was only 16 years old because my dad sold it and my older brothers were heavily into it, thus introducing ME to it... you might know that i'm diagnosed with ADHD which means you guessed it!! i have a highly addictive personality and that's where it allllll started :')

all day, every day that was my life for a very long time. and while i have no issues with people who are smoking casually and sporadically for fun, i myself was actively destroying any and all productivity i had, being a loser of a shut in, and making my mental health worse because of just how much i did it... it was ruining good streaks of streaming and uploading on such a consistent basis... i was genuinely so fucking sad and upset with myself lol... but i knew nothing could change if i didn't lock in and force it to - for myself and for every single one of you that's ever supported me :')

so i quit. it's already been almost a full week and while i still have cravings often i'm doing really well ignoring them and they pass pretty quickly! i have more energy and i don't feel as tired all the time. my mental feels better (my psychiatrist and i have been talking about tapering me off of my SSRI in the future too!). i have a newfound love for life and content creation in general and i'm so stoked to be able to show you that i'm recovering and getting better - that i won't randomly disappear for months at a time again because i couldn't handle it... :')

thank you, and i hope you don't think less of me after learning of my past. i love you all sm :') 💕